Spirit
by pacphys
Summary: When Donatello died at age three he spent 14 years with his family as a Spirit. Now he has been granted another shot at life by the Powers That Be.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **As TOWCaBeT draws to a close, I decided that it might be time to start posting this story (which is all but complete on my harddrive) Don't worry, folks, Amiah is still in the works too. This one is just ready to start going up. Enjoy!**  
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** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Splinter held the tiny turtle gently. Three years and it never failed. Every year around the same time the small turtle got so sick that Splinter feared he would not survive the harsh winter of the New York sewers. His brothers fared better, and Splinter had a hunch that their bodies were better suited to the cold. Raphael seemed to do the best when subjected to cold temperatures. Michelangelo also did well enough that Splinter seldom had to worry, though he was never quite sure whether Michelangelo's body actually produced enough heat to help him through the winter or whether it was his 'extra insulation' that did the trick. Either way, Leonardo and Donatello and a definite disadvantage in the chill winter months, and it was Donatello who suffered the most in the chill of the sewers.

The only explanation he had for the drastic differences between the young turtles was how they reacted to the ooze that had mutated them three years ago. All had taken a humanoid form, but they developed so differently.

Michelangelo, at two feet and three inches, was short compared to Raphael and Leonardo, and his coordination and athleticism were astounding for his age and size. Of the four turtles, Michelangelo had the hardest time learning anything that wasn't physical. It wasn't that the child wasn't intelligent, Michelangelo simply did not have the attention span needed to learn as quickly as his brothers could. This young turtle was also the most difficult to keep fed. The boy was always hungry, and when food was plentiful or scarce it showed most on him.

Raphael and Leonardo were close to the same height, each standing around two feet six inches, but Raphael was far more muscular than any of his brothers. The powerful little turtle learned well when he cared. Usually he just couldn't be bothered to learn something new, especially if he wasn't interested. Splinter knew that he would have his work cut out for him in keeping Raphael's interest. With Michelangelo's lack of focus, teaching the pair anything was quite a job. But both did well in their very early ninjitsu training, and Splinter was grateful for that. Raphael's strength allowed him to force through situations his brothers simply couldn't. He was also a bit of a bully, which was a situation that Splinter knew he would have to rectify.

Leonardo was slimmer than both Raphael and Michelangelo, and he had a little trouble with the physical aspects of their early training. Though his problems were easily made up for by his eagerness to learn and the focus he brought to everything he did. Leonardo was also very willing to learn and did well in just about every endeavor set before him.

Splinter looked down at the child in his arms. Donatello had presented some rather unique challenges to the rat. The little turtle was often bored, completing mental exercises far more quickly than his brothers then having nothing else to do. A little over two months ago, the small turtle had taken apart the toaster while he was supposed to be working on a puzzle. As it turned out, the puzzle had long since been completed and the child had been bored. Having nothing better to do, he had taken the appliance apart. Splinter had decided that it was easier to encourage the tinkering that followed the incident than to try stopping it, and he brought home a few things he found at the junk yard for the boy to play with. Donatello stood a touch less than two feet tall, and his weight fluctuated horribly during the course of a year. In the summer months his build was similar to that of Leonardo, and if left to his own devices under ideal circumstances that would probably have been his build year round, but the bitter winters necessitated some changes.

This winter had been particularly harsh and during the fall, food had been scarce. Splinter always offered the four turtles equal portions, but Leonardo and Donatello would give what they didn't eat to their larger brothers, the system worked fairly well. In the fall Splinter would force the two smaller turtles to eat the full amount of food they were given. The practice made the two smallest turtles gain weight before the harsh winter set in. Leonardo would generally keep the extra pounds, converting them to muscle and height, but Donatello did not. The bitter winters would bring the small turtle's body temperature down and make him susceptible to illness. Splinter had yet to figure out why the others were not equally affected and passed it off as part of the ooze had affected them.

Donatello coughed into Splinter's fur and tried to burrow deeper into the warm pelt. Splinter was well aware of the child's discomfort and wished there were more he could do. Just like every year since the turtles had come into his life, Donatello had gotten so ill that he was refusing to eat. Even getting the child to drink was often a challenge. It was only the beginning of January, and the tiny turtle had long since lost the meager pounds he had gained during the fall. Come March, provided the little turtle survived, he would be swimming in his own shell just like last year. Donatello coughed again and gave a quiet whimper. The tiny turtle was miserable, and Splinter could not blame him, but he could not help him either.

As much as Splinter hated to do it, everything backed off in the winter. All four of the children slept more in the cold months and occasionally were ill, but a big part of the reason was that Splinter would be too busy trying to keep the smallest one alive to even consider anything for the others. Even during the best times, Donatello had a horrible time with anything physical. The child did not have the coordination his brothers were so lucky to have been blessed with. Additionally, Donatello did not seem particularly interested. Simply put, the little boy did not want to be in the dojo. He did what he was told because he he had to. Splinter often wondered how many of the times Donatello was dropped in one of the little fights that invariably sprung up were because he was that much worse of a fighter than his opponent and how many were because the little turtle simply preferred not to hit back.

* * *

"BORED!" Michelangelo's voice rang out through the lair. Splinter sighed and quickly came up with a tumbling exercise for the child and anyone else who wanted to join in. He stood from his chair, keeping Donatello close to his chest, He paused at the sofa and grabbed a small blanket to wrap around the child. Splinter had come across the blanket shortly after the turtles had come into his life, and somehow, some way the smallest turtle had managed to claim the oddly colored blanket as his own. 

"If you are bored, Michelangelo, How about you go get your brothers and we will have a small ninjitsu lesson."

"Awww..." The roundest of the young turtles complained. "ALWAYS do ninjsu."

"I thought you enjoyed tumbling?" Splinter asked. He watched as Michelangelo's face brightened and the turtle scampered off in search of his brothers. Looking down at the small turtle in his arms, Splinter wished he had a better way to keep the boy warm. He carefully shifted the child, and his heart broke at another pained whimper.

When Michelangelo returned with Raphael and Leonardo, Splinter set them a series of tumbling exercises. It gave them something fun to do that also helped the ninjitsu skills that Splinter had very recently and slowly begun to cultivate. When they were done it would be dinner time, and Splinter headed to the kitchen to prepare their meal. He had come across some uncooked pasta recently, and planned on making spaghetti. For that he would need both hands.

Wrapping the bright purple blanket tightly around his ill son, Splinter laid Donatello down on one of the chairs. The tiny turtle whimpered when he lost his heat source and curled into a tight ball as he was put down. As Splinter was finishing up and putting food on plates the three turtles who had just completed their tumbling routines poked their heads into the kitchen.

"Ps'getti!" Michelangelo cried out, recognizing the food, if not pronouncing it correctly. He bounded to the table and yanked out a chair, unfortunately the chair he chose was the one Donatello had been resting on, and the smaller turtle crashed to the floor. If he'd had the energy to cry, Splinter was sure he would have. But following the heavy thunk, all he heard was another whimper of pain.

"Oopsie" Michelangelo said quickly as he slapped a hand over his mouth. A wide-eyed, innocent look was plastered on his face.

"Donnie falled." Raphael reported.

"Donnie 'ick?" Leonardo asked quietly as he poked the smaller turtle on the floor. Donatello tried, rather unsuccessfully, to bat his brother's hand away.

Splinter sighed as he turned around and rescued the turtle from the floor. "Michelangelo, you need to be more careful. You are getting big, and you might hurt others if you are not careful. I need you to be especially nice to Donatello right now too, ok? Leonardo is correct, he is very sick, and he needs all the help you can give to get better." When he spoke he addressed all the turtles, but the rebuke was mainly directed at Michelangelo.

Three little turtles dug into their dinner and Splinter began the battle to get Donatello to eat something. All four of the turtles could be obstinate when they wanted to be, but Splinter just wished that the little one in his arms would stop being so about his dinner. On the other hand, he was pretty sure that if Donatello did eat the food, it would be back in less than a half hour. Splinter finally managed to get some orange juice down the boy's throat and took what victories he could get. He slid Donatello's portion to the center of the table and started on his own dinner while Michelangelo and Raphael divvied up Donatello's dinner between themselves.

"be ekcued?" Leonardo inquired sweetly, asking if he could please be excused from the table.

Splinter sighed as he took note of the fact that the young turtle had only eaten half of his dinner. "I'd feel better if you ate a little more of your food." He told the young turtle. The child sighed in response and went back to his dinner. He pushed it around his plate for a few minutes before asking again if he could be excused. Knowing that he didn't have the energy tonight to fight with Leonardo over eating his dinner after fighting to get Donatello to drink something, Splinter nodded and let the boy go. He looked down in concern when Donatello coughed weakly and gave a small moan.

The child's coughing had lessened over the past few days, but Splinter simply couldn't be sure if it was because he was getting better or because he no longer had the energy to cough. Given how weak the coughs that Donatello did manage were, Splinter had a bad feeling that it was the latter. Splinter prayed for an early spring as he looked down at the terribly sick little boy. Donatello was too small for his age, being closer to the size his brothers had been a year ago than their current size. Each winter Splinter became more and more sure that it was the bitter cold and illness that had resulted in Donatello's stunted growth. He carefully shifted the small boy and gave him several sharp pats on the back in an effort to knock loose some of the gunk in the child's lungs that Donatello was no longer strong enough to remove on his own. The small turtle whimpered at the blows to his already battered frame.

"I am sorry, my son. I know this hurts you, but we need to clear your lungs out. It will help you breathe more easily."

Splinter sat on the couch and carefully cradled his sick son. It wasn't long before Michelangelo found them there.

"P'ay wif 'ego's?" the young turtle asked.

"I do not think that is a very good idea right now, Michelangelo." Splinter turned the child down gently on the ill boy's behalf. "Donatello is not feeling very well, and we should let him get some rest."

"But Donnie 'ike 'ego's" Mikey objected.

"Yes, Donatello likes Lego's, but he is sick, Michelangelo. He cannot play right now."

"I p'ay for Donnie?" Mikey asked.

"That is a good idea." Splinter agreed. "You can make something for your brother. I am sure he will appreciate it."

The young turtle blinked at the long word, and his eyes asked for an explanation.

"I am sure your brother would love you to make something for him." Splinter explained. He smiled as Michelangelo immediately started building with the little colored blocks. It was not long before the other two joined Michelangelo in his play with the Lego's. The 'Lego's' were not actually Lego's at all, but larger multicolored blocks that Splinter had come across.

Donatello gave a couple of weak coughs and Splinter was forced to give the child several more smacks to the back, drawing more whimpers from the small boy. Two stronger coughs resulted and Splinter felt the boy throw something up on his shoulder.

"ew..." Raphael said from the floor, and Splinter was quick to scold and quiet him. It was obvious that Donatello was upset enough as it was, he didn't need his brothers making fun of him right now. Splinter's own breathing hitched when the child in his arms coughed again and had to fight to start breathing once more. Not until Donatello's breath came more easily again did Splinter sigh in relief.

"My sons, I believe it is time for bed."

Three of the four turtles moaned and Splinter began the familiar routine of preparing them for bed. Once the healthy three boys were safely tucked in, Splinter took Donatello with him and curled himself around the small, ill child in an effort to keep the little boy warm during the night. Little did he know that by morning his life was going to change... again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the ninja turtles or associated characters. I make no money from this. I mean no harm. Yadda, yadda, yadda... Please don't sue me.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

When Splinter awoke the next morning, he could not rouse Donatello. He frantically checked the boy's breathing and pulse and found nothing. The child had finally succumbed to the illness that had been battering his small body for the past month and a half. Splinter mourned the loss of his small son, but could not help but hope that the child was in a better place; one where he could run and play and take things apart to his heart's content. He gently caressed the lost child's cheek as silent tears fell on a chest that would never again rise and fall. Running a thumb just above Donatello's left eye, he cried for the intelligent sparkle that would never again light the eyes beneath the closed lids. He did not know how long he had been there, but it had to have been a long time, because Leonardo interrupted him.

"Daddy?" The young boy asked worriedly, startling the rat. "Crying?" He asked carefully. Splinter's tears upsetting him as well.

As if the loss of Donatello were not bad enough on its own, Splinter realized that we would now have to explain it to the boy's brothers. And he had no clue how to do that.

"Daddy?" Leonardo prodded again.

"I am sorry, my son." Splinter finally spoke. "I am just very sad right now." He tried to wipe away a tear and only succeeded in smashing it into his fur as he stood from the bed after carefully wrapping Donatello's body in the purple blanket the child had always preferred. "Are your brothers awake yet?"

Leo nodded and looked up at Splinter with a concerned expression. "No Donnie?" He asked, surprised that the small turtle had been left on the bed.

"No, not anymore." Splinter admitted sadly. "Would you please get your brothers and meet me in the living room?"

Leonardo nodded solemnly then scurried off to find Michelangelo and Raphael. Splinter took a shuddering breath as he watched the child go. He still did not know what he was going to tell them when he arrived in the living room ten minutes later to find the three turtles seated on the couch, a small space in between Michelangelo and Leonardo that was usually filled by Donatello. Splinter forced back tears at the space on the couch that would never again be occupied by the quiet, little boy. Unable to look at it any longer, he took the empty space on the couch, much to the confusion of the turtles and pulled his three remaining children into a tight hug.

"Where Donnie?" Michelangelo asked suddenly, causing Splinter to relax his hold on the three boys.

"Donatello is taking a nap." Splinter finally said. "A very, very long nap."

"ti' afternoon?" Mikey asked innocently.

"No, not until the afternoon. Much longer. It is a different kind of nap; one he is not going to be waking up from."

"but make car." Raphael objected.

"I am sorry, my son." Splinter forced out. "He did not mean to leave us like this, but he had to. I am sure though, that Donatello knows about the car you made for him and loves it very much, even though he cannot play with it."

"Donnie no wake?" Leonardo asked carefully.

"No, my son. Your brother cannot wake up." Splinter affirmed, if it was possible, his heart broke a little more at the expression on the faces of his remaining children as they seemed to figure out, on some level, that Splinter was telling them that their brother was dead.

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Splinter found himself hard pressed to keep up with the three remaining children. He was upset at the loss of Donatello as were the three children, or at least, he thought they should be. It was Michelangelo's response to his brother's passing that was most upsetting to Splinter.

"Donnie hungry!" Michelangelo objected when Splinter only set out three plates of food at dinner.

"We have discussed this, Michelangelo. Donatello is no longer with us. I am sorry, My son, but he is gone."

"No, Daddy." the child objected. "there." Michelangelo pointed to Donatello's customary spot at the kitchen table, and Splinter sighed in response. He didn't know what to do in this situation. Nothing he did could convince Michelangelo that his smallest brother was not in that chair. In the end, Splinter wound up putting a small amount of food on a plate in Donatello's spot, just to keep Michelangelo happy and quiet.

The next week showed more concerning aspects of Michelangelo's behavior and it seemed that Raphael and Leonardo had picked up some of the more troubling habits that Michelangelo had first exhibited. The three turtles continued to leave a space between them that their missing brother had once filled. He occasionally heard them speaking to Donatello as well, and that was most troubling of all. All three of them flatly refused to believe that Donatello was gone, and anytime Splinter brought the subject up, or acted like Donatello was not present, the three turtles were quick to point out that their brother was there. It was confusing to the rat, and he had no idea what to do. Now more than ever before he wished that he had access to some sort of counseling for the three children. It was something that he did not seem able to give.

* * *

More than a month had passed since Donatello had failed to wake up, and Leonardo was playing Chutes and Ladders with no one; at least, Splinter didn't see anyone. It had become something of a habit for the small turtle lately. He wasn't paying much attention, but both pieces seemed to be moving around the board. Another sigh escaped him, and he felt like he had truly failed the children who had come into his life three and a half years ago. All three of them still seemed to think that their brother was alive.

"Not know why Daddy t'ink you not here." Leonardo told the air across the board from him. There was a pause then the child spoke again. "know he 'ay you take nap, but know you not... know you not 'leep." Another pause. "No think you do bad. Daddy weird." The small turtle stated flatly to the air across the board from him.

As he watched Leonardo talking to the empty space he could almost see a small green and purple shimmer in the space that the young turtle was watching as he spoke. When Splinter focused on the spot, the shimmer went away and he decided that his mind had to have been playing tricks on him.

"Know he forget you now." The young turtle continued. "He weird." Then Leonardo sighed. "I a'k, but he weird." There was another pause as Leonardo seemed to listen to something that was said before the child spoke again, this time to Splinter.

"Donnie want know why you pretend he not here, Daddy. Want know if do bad."

"Leonardo..." Splinter started sadly. He did not like to discuss Donatello in this manner, it was too painful. "Your brother is not here, Leonardo, you know that."

"No, Daddy. He here. He gone, but they not want him and he come back. You pretend he not here, but ISH!" The child shouted, jumping up from his game. "HE RIGHT HERE!" The young turtle insistently pointed to the space across the board game from him.

"Leonardo, cease this behavior immediately-" again a pale green and purple shimmer flashed at the edge of his vision and Splinter found himself questioning himself once more, but it simply wasn't possible.

"Daddy, they mean to him there! He come back because think we love, but you pretend not here! You make him go 'way 'gain!" Leonardo cried. "No! Donnie! No leave me!" The young turtle sobbed before jumping across the board and throwing his arms around something that was not there. Again Splinter saw the soft shimmer and wondered if there actually was something else going on here. A small piece of his mind began to wonder if maybe his children were correct. The shimmer darkened and solidified for a brief moment, revealing the child whose body Splinter had burned over a month ago, but the image started to fade again.

"Donatello," the rat asked almost silently, "is that- is that you?" The fading shimmer, looking impossibly like his lost turtle with that old, purple blanket wrapped around his shoulders, turned toward him but faded away to nothingness before getting all the way around.

"He here." Leonardo insisted again. "He not 'leep no more. He here, Daddy."

For the next few weeks, Splinter spotted that shimmer around the lair from time to time, and began to question it even more. It simply wasn't possible, and yet here it was. The child he had thought lost was still with them. As he spotted the shimmer more and more often, the soft outline began to solidify, and every now and then he could actually feel the small turtle. A turtle who, Splinter's mind told him, was not supposed to be there.

"Donatello?" Splinter asked the air where he had last spotted the shimmer.

"He 'istening," Michelangelo informed him.

"Thank you, My son." Splinter said to the living child before continuing his conversation with the one who could not possibly be present. "Donatello, you no longer belong here. I know that you liked it here, and as much as I wish you could stay, you have to move on. You need to move on, My son. Please, Donatello, you have to go."

"You not want me?" A small, timid, heartbroken and painfully familiar voice asked.

"No, that is not it at all. Every day, I wish you were back with me, Donatello, but you cannot stay here. You belong in a better place. Please, my son, you do not know how it pains me to say this, but you need to go."

"But they not want me." the soft voice replied. Splinter could almost see tears running down the tiny turtle's cheeks, and he wanted nothing more than to take the boy in his arms and hold him. "Nobody want me." And to Splinter, the child faded out.

"I want you, Donnie." Michelangelo said. After a moment the young boy turned on his father with an icy glare that Splinter had never before seen on the child's features. "You make him go 'way again!" Mikey screamed.

"My son," Splinter tried to console the child, pulling the young turtle into a hug. "Donatello no longer belongs here. He has to move on, there is a better place that is waiting for him. Michelangelo would have none of it.

"They not want him! They HATE HIM! Now YOU HATE HIM!" Mikey screamed as he fought to get away from Splinter. "AND I HATE YOU!" Mikey broke free of his father's arms and raced out into the sewers, screaming Donatello's name as he ran.

Splinter did not know what to do, this was something he was so utterly and completely unprepared for. It was something he had never even imagined happening. And it seemed so much worse than even his mutation and the arrival of the four young turtles in his life three and a half years ago.

Racing out into the sewers after Michelangelo, it was not long before Splinter found himself apologizing to a soft shimmer. His life was about to change... again.

* * *

**A/N: **I DID mark supernatural in the genre. Please don't kill me! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_**Fourteen Years Later**_

The Shredder had just forced the turtles out of their sewers, and they, along with Master Splinter, were at April's door hoping to camp out in her living room. She had only seen them a handful of times, and of those times they had not always been together, but she was sure that...

"Weren't there four of you guys?" She asked as Michelangelo shut the door behind them.

"Yeah," Mikey responded. "Pretty much."

"Pretty much?" The use of that phrase confused her. "Where's the other one?"

Leonardo shrugged. "He disappeared earlier today, he does that sometimes."

April blinked at her 'guests' in confusion. She had always felt like there was something different about the missing turtle, but she had never been able to put her finger on it, and she'd never pushed the issue.

"He'll be back." Leo continued. "He has always come back before."

April shook her head slightly in confusion. "I guess he just didn't seem like the type who'd run off in a situation like this."

"Hey!" Raph defended his brother. "He ain't the type to run off! Why do you think he always comes back! It ain't like he means to disappear."

Splinter sighed at the confusion he could still see on their hostess's face. "I am afraid, Miss O'Neil , that you have not heard the whole story as far as Donatello is concerned." And with that, Splinter began the tale of the three year old who had died.

"So... you're telling me that Donatello is... a ghost?"

At that moment the three turtles and Master Splinter all looked at the same point. It was just about two feet off the floor, but April did not see anything there.

"I told you he'd come back." Leonardo told the red-head.

"What?" April still saw nothing, still heard nothing.

"You can't see him?" Mikey asked. He had always been able to see his brother, and the fact that most people could not without some action on Don's part was completely foreign to him.

Mikey's openness to the idea of ghosts and spirits as a child had allowed him to see his brother almost immediately upon the turtle's return to the living realm. The fact that Mikey had been a little closer to Don than Leo and Raph had gave him the strongest bond to the dead turtle and had allowed him to see the wandering spirit first. Brotherhood is a powerful bond, and it was that bond that made seeing Don effortless for his brothers. Splinter had to concentrate in order to see Donatello when the turtle was not actively showing himself. While Splinter could not always see Donatello without concentrating, he could always sense the spirit's presence in the room.

"See who? What are you talking about?"

"Don." Leo reported. "I told you he'd come back. He always does."

April could only watch in astonishment as Leo bent over on the couch and seemed to pick up a child, though her eyes insited that there was no one there for him to pick up!

"Yes, we know you're not a ghost."

April was just about to accuse her guests of being completely crazy when she almost saw a green shimmer on Leo's lap. She shook her head and looked a second time, but the shimmer was gone. All the same, Leonardo still seemed to be having a conversation with the nothing in his lap. After a moment the blue-masked turtle turned to her.

"Ghosts have unfinished business that keeps them tied to Earth, April. Don doesn't have any unfinished business." Leo informed. "He's here because he isn't accepted anywhere else, at least not by enough of the population for him to feel welcome. Until that changes, he's allowed to return to us." Leo turned to the 'nothingness' on his lap for a brief moment before continuing. "He's a spirit. He is here because he chooses to be, not because of something unfinished that requires him to stay."

"I'm afraid I'm confused, he's never looked like a child before." April responded though she still couldn't see Donatello. There was a part of her mind insisting that this was ridiculous and completely unbelievable. That disbelief hid the spirit from her sight.

Splinter continued the explanation. "The form of a three-year-old is often impractical, and he has slowly learned to take a size and form similar to that of his brothers. As they grew, he learned to take a larger form. But taking a larger form requires more energy. When the rest of us are asleep or he does not need to be the height you have seen him use in the past, he returns to his natural state. Also, returning after one of his disappearances wears him out. Holding the larger form or allowing those who do not truly believe to see him becomes impossible for a while."

"So, you're telling me that Donatello is actually a dead three-year-old and is currently sitting on Leo's lap?" April asked in astonishment.

Splinter nodded. "I did not believe at first myself, but the turtles were so insistent that he was there for so long, I began to wonder if they were not correct. Then I too began to see him around the lair. He interacted with items and I found that he was indeed still present in our home and not a figment of my imagination. He is not alive in the traditional sense of the word, Miss O'Neil, but he is very real."

* * *

Leonardo was annoyed at being run out of their home... AGAIN! He wanted to go out there and find the jerks who had done this. With Donatello having just returned from wherever it was he occasionally disappeared to, they would be short a fighter until he had a chance to recover. Leo knew that the smartest thing to do would be to wait until they were all able to fight, but he had to do something now! He got up early and was standing by the window, debating whether he should really go or not when Splinter spoke.

"Going on a morning run, my son? You would not be planning a trip to the sewers, would you?"

Leo cringed. "Why would I do that? Just because the Foot ran us out of our home for the second time in recent months, just because they refuse to leave us alone, even though we have done nothing? Just because they probably triggered Don's last disappearance?"

"Leonardo," Splinter sighed.

Leo also sighed. He knew the tone in Splinter's voice all too well. "Ok, Sensei, I promise. A run, no more. I will not seek out anyone." And Leo had every intention of keeping his promise. Unfortunately Fate, and the Foot, had other ideas...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** This chapter in particular, along with a handful of other chapters, will borrow events from the 2003 cartoon series. The borrowed events belong to the series and are the genius work of the show's creators. The different circumstances in this story necessitate the retelling of certain events with a slight twist. As always, I don't own the ninja turtles or associated characters. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Leonardo raced across the rooftops of New York hidden by the still dark skies of the early morning. He was furious with recent events and he found running very relaxing. The skies threatened ugly weather, and Leo almost hoped that they would open up on him. He liked the rain, it made hopping rooftops more difficult and dangerous, but he loved the feel of rain on his skin, especially when he was running. The dark clouds also offered cover for his run, keeping the bright sun that would expose him to the world at bay a little longer and letting his run continue.

He knew they were there and had known for quite some time now. Considering the family, one member in particular, Leo and his brothers were quite skilled at sensing the presence of others. Even for ninja, their skills were exceptional in that respect. The group tailing him had been getting closer for the past couple of rooftops, and were now right behind him. A single Foot ninja jumped, intending to skewer Leonardo with his katana, but Leo had recognized the move before his adversary could complete his goal. Ducking, Leo allowed the other ninja to pass harmlessly over his head, harmless to Leo at any rate. The Foot ninja collided with a wall and was knocked out cold. Once sure his first opponent was down, Leo turned his attention to the rest of the group that had been chasing him. Another group of Foot appeared on a higher level. Surrounded, Leo looked for a means of escape. He needed to get away from these guys and back to April's place without being followed. If he was going to accomplish this goal then he would need to call upon every ounce of training he had ever received, and he knew it. Leo just hoped that it would be enough.

Looking around, he spotted a cable that might be of use. Jumping and slicing the cable free, Leo swung across the roofs of the city. He had hoped to elude his pursuers, but where there was one Foot ninja there were always more. His escape was short lived and, once again, Leonardo found himself surrounded. This time he would have to fight. And fight he did, quickly rendering his enemies unconscious, only to be surrounded by more. Even as Leo scanned the rooftops, quickly losing count of how many Foot were actually nearby, the storm that the skies had threatened all morning arrived, and it arrived with a vengeance. Lightning streaked across the skies, briefly illuminating the black shadows that surrounded the lone turtle. Leo growled to himself. This was going to be difficult – difficult, but doable.

The Foot tech ninja were the next to arrive on the scene. After having battled his way through so many regular Foot ninja, Leo was already at a disadvantage. When the foes around him vanished, he had nothing to aid him either. In previous fights against these goons, Don had come to the rescue with gadgets and just being what he was. As invisible as the Foot tech ninja were to Leo, Don had been to them, perhaps even more so. The turtle spirit, however, had no difficulty seeing the invisible ninjas. After taking a couple of hits, Leo had an idea. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a breath. The same openness that allowed him to see his brother even when Don was trying to hide could allow him to 'see' his invisible foes. When he opened his eyes again, the Foot Tech were as visible to Leo as Don was when not actively showing himself. The Foot Tech, confused by the fact that the turtle could obviously see them now, fell quickly to the unexpected attack. Their suits might be able to hide them from traditional sight, but their presence could not be so masked. Leo had learned long ago that a living presence was considerably easier to sense than a spirit was. Having made short work of the Foot tech ninja, Leo thought he might have the chance to escape and get back to April's place.

But the fight was far from over. The behemoth known as Hun was the next to show himself. Dropping a wall on the beast of a man, Leo figured that Hun was down for the count. He quickly departed the area and started making his way back to April's apartment... again That is until he realized that he was being followed... also again. Hun had gotten up, and the Foot ninja had arrived in greater numbers. The storm also seemed to have intensified, and it spurned Leo forward. He would be returning to his family. These Foot goons were not going to stop him, and neither was Hun. Suddenly everyone backed off... only to reveal a new adversary on a roof behind Leo. Adversaries who could vanish from one place and reappear in another at will. The whole group then bowed to another rooftop, and Leo suddenly had doubts about this fight. Standing there on the roof was a man who could not possibly be alive. The man Leo considered responsible for this whole mess. Someone who had fallen to Master Splinter's hand. Someone who had been crushed by a water tower not yet a month ago – the Shredder.

Leo had barely wrapped his mind around Shredder's presence when the newest ninja, the group he had never seen before suddenly appeared around him and attacked.

* * *

Leonardo's battered form crashed through the window of April's apartment, shocking the current occupants of her humble home. He only just prevented Raphael from racing out the door in search of those who had beaten him up. 

"Raph, wait, The Shredder... He's... back."

The Foot followed almost as soon as the words had escaped Leo's lips, but Leo was no longer awake to help fight. Escape could only occur by means of the antique shop downstairs, and everyone did what they could to facilitate that escape. Splinter quickly assessed his sons though he already knew that only Michelangelo and Raphael were in good shape to fight. Leonardo could not stand on his own after the beating he had already taken, and Donatello had too recently returned from one of his disappearances to fight alongside his brothers in the traditional sense.

"Michelangelo!" Splinter shouted. "Help Miss O'Neil assist Leonardo down the stairs." He immediately jumped toward the nearest Foot ninja and quickly reduced his first opponent of many to unconsciousness. "Raphael, you are with me!" He said no more, but felt Raphael immediately jump into the fray covering his back.

Three more ninja fell to Master Splinter's walking stick, and Raphael had taken down several as well. A well placed snap kick to another ninja's knee caused the ninja to fall to the floor and a grin spread across Raphael's features.

"Michelangelo, I told you to help get your brother downstairs!" Splinter shouted. He was focused on the fight, and knew exactly where Michelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo and April were at all times, but Donatello's weaker presence had been lost in the scuffle. Of all of them, it was Donatello he had the least to worry about. What were they going to do to him exactly, kill him? No, there was nothing to worry about there other than where an ally was. A quick chop to the neck downed another ninja and Splinter noticed that Michelangelo was finally getting April and Leonardo out of the apartment. Raphael was no longer at Splinter's back, and he worried for his red-masked son. Spinning around, Splinter observed the business end of a naginata heading directly for Raphael's neck, but it never got there. The Foot ninja who had been wielding the weapon had seemingly inexplicably fallen to the floor, a brief moment later the ninja was unconscious. Donatello may have been a reluctant student of ninjitsu in life, but in death he was just as potent a fighter as any of his brothers even if he was not at full strength.

"Thanks, bro." Raphael responded to a being that no one else in the room could see. A faint whisper of ghosts and demons fluttered among the Foot as more of their companions fell to the unseen force. Most seeming to slip on rugs or fall to blows at their knees. Even after all this time, Splinter still had to concentrate to hear or see Donatello, but that had never been a problem for the turtle's brothers. They had always been able to see and hear the fourth turtle without trying. The fact that most of Donatello's attacks were short, quick movements of inanimate objects told Splinter that the spirit was indeed very low on energy.

Splinter called for a retreat to the shop below as more ninja crashed through the window.

Michelangelo had been the first to enter the antique shop below the apartment and had spotted the four ninja who were obviously not your typical Foot goon. He made a comment about their hats then darted back to the stairwell. In mild disbelief at Mikey's assessment of "seriously mean looking guys." Donatello traced Mikey's steps into the shop. He had been rather surprised when an ax was thrown at him, followed closely by a spear, immediately after he had repeated Mikey's comment about the hats. He managed to dodge the ax, but had been unable to move in time to avoid the spear. Luckily, a spear could no longer hurt him unless he wanted it to, and he didn't want it to. The weapon passed harmlessly through Don's head and embedded into the wall behind him. These people or beings could see him! He darted back into the stairwell.

"They can see me!" Don shouted, using precious energy to make sure his message got through to his family.

That statement told Splinter that they were up against powerful ninja. At the moment, Donatello wasn't strong enough to show himself to those who did not know him and truly believe. Only the most skilled of artists would be able to see an unknown spirit like Donatello.

"Take care, my sons. These are worthy adversaries. Be careful and fight together."

April hung back with Leonardo and tried to keep him out of the fight as best she could, despite his protests and pleas for her to leave them behind and get herself out. Leo even managed to drop a heavy shelf on an advancing ninja when it had come down to it. The action weakened him further and worry flashed across Splinter's features as April caught the battered turtle's collapsing form.

The next thing the turtles, Splinter and April knew, the opponents they had been fighting backed off. The Shredder kicked in the door. Casey Jones smashed his way into the fight around that time as well.

"He _is _back!" Raph whispered in disbelief. Leo had made a brief comment about it before they had been attacked by the Foot, but he had not truly believed it. It was then that they had retreated into a closet.

It got quiet, too quiet. When they tried to open the door they found that it had been locked from the outside. Nothing they could do from the interior of the small room could free them from the space. Mikey and Raph had tried to open the door without success, and even adding Casey's, Splinter's and April's strength to the mix had not resulted in any yielding of the door.

The scent of smoke and natural gas mingled in the closet and a way out had to be found immediately or the rest of the mutant family would be joining Donatello in the afterlife. No one was quite ready to allow that to happen. They obviously could not use the front entrance, but the back door or a window might be an escape option... if they could get out of this small space they had locked themselves into. The group was out of options.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** The beginning of this chapter, along with a handful of other chapters, will borrow events from the 2003 cartoon series. The borrowed events belong to the series and are the genius work of the show's creators. The different circumstances in this story necessitate the retelling of certain events with a slight twist. As always, I don't own the ninja turtles or associated characters. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Donatello did not remember being this tired in his entire existence. He had really overdone it in the fight, and he had not yet recovered from his last 'disappearance', as his family called them. He had another phrase that he preferred, but he did not share that phrase or what happened while he was gone with his family here. They would find out in time, and he truthfully did not want them to know until they absolutely had to find out. Anything he could do that might possibly prevent them from finding out until a little later, he would do. It was better this way. He wanted nothing more than to just fade out. He did not want to talk. He did not want to be seen. And he most certainly did not wish to interact with his environment for the next month or so. Unfortunately, his family needed to get out of this room, and he was their only hope.

He drifted through the door, not caring how much his brothers disliked it when he drifted rather than walked, he was too tired. Once outside the door, it was easy to assess that the Foot were no longer present in the shop. Unfortunately, the door had also been 'locked' shut from the outside by a thick steel bar — _Where had that come from anyway?_ — and it was too high for Don to reach in his current state. He would have to take a larger form or move more objects around the shop than he was capable of at the moment. For some reason, people seemed to think that ghosts could drift wherever they wanted to be, but Don had always been limited by needing something directly underneath him. Perhaps that was the difference between a spirit and a ghost, but he had never pushed the issue and so did not know for sure. The nearest thing he could possibly stand on was too far away for him to move reasonably, and he was forced to take a larger form. He concentrated, and used as little energy as possible to reach up and remove the bar from the door handle. April, Casey — _When did he get here? _— and his family were out the door in an instant and running for the back exit.

"Don! Come on!" Casey shouted from the door. Apparently, the man had either missed the spirit's escape from the room or, more likely, the fact that Don had not seemed present at all earlier. The fact that the turtle was no longer five feet tall also seemed to have escaped Casey's attention. Altering his size as he had been forced to do in order to open the door and free his family almost always made Don visible, especially if he was tired. This was obviously one of those times. Since it took some energy for Donatello to return to his rest state, about as much energy as he needed to throw something, the change back to his rest state was proceeding slowly. He was simply too tired to get out of the active state more quickly.

Don could not respond to Casey's shout no matter how much he wanted to, and he was grateful when he heard Master Splinter explain as best he could in the limited time they had.

"No explosion can hurt him, Mr. Jones, but the rest of us, including you must get to safety now."

The spirit could only sit there and continue to fade out of visibility for all but his brothers as his family ran away from the building. After that, the last thing he remembered was fire and the sharp pull of another 'disappearing act'. Far too exhausted to do anything about it even if he had wanted to, he let it drag him.

* * *

Raphael and Michelangelo sat silently next to Leonardo, who lay on the couch. The normally blue-masked turtle was not doing well. Two days had passed and he had yet to wake up. Mikey had tried talking to him a few times, but Leo had made no response to the words and Mikey had become disheartened and began to speak less often to his grievously injured brother. The fate of another brother also weighed on the family's mind. Donatello had not been seen by anyone since the escape from the antique shop.

* * *

Leonardo looked around the empty space. The room was completely dark though he had a vague sense of it being incredibly large. He looked around and, at first, saw nothing. He concentrated on his surroundings for another moment before he heard a familiar voice behind him. 

"I've been here before."

The seventeen-year-old, blue-masked turtle whipped his head around in search of the voice. At first he found nothing.

"I hope you choose better than I did."

Now, Leo could just make out the beginnings of the familiar shimmer of his brother's three-year-old rest state. "Don?" Leo asked incredulously. "Where-?"

Donatello cut him off "Actually, I was kind of here so long that I lost the opportunity to choose either way. I never told any of you this. but I did know about the car. It nearly brought me back, but it was too late, and I didn't know how to go back." The small spirit continued sadly.

"Where are we?" Leo asked. He watched as his brother looked around for a moment.

"I can't tell you that," Don said sadly with a shake of his head. "but I can say that I wish you were not here. You have to make a choice now, Leo, and I beg you not to make the error I made. Two days have passed out there, Leo. You are running out of time."

"How do you know this?"

"I told you. I have been here before. Perhaps, it is the privilege of my current job here that allows me to know, but your time left here is short. You must choose, Leo, and you must choose quickly."

"I don't understand." Leo begged of the small spirit who seemed to radiate a small amount of light into the otherwise pitch black room. Donatello nodded as though having expected the response.

"No one ever does the first time, and I am not allowed to tell you much more than what I have already shared."

"But, Don..." Leo watched as the small spirit looked off to the side at something that Leo could not see. Don nodded at the space then turned back to Leo.

"I didn't even get this much. The Guide is always the spirit of the closest family member. When I came here the closest family member I had was our mother. She spoke to me in a then nearly forgotten language, and one that is long since forgotten to you, Raph and Mikey."

Leo was beginning to piece together where he was.

"I can tell you no more. What I have already said could get me into trouble that I do not want. Choose, Leonardo. What lies in front of you-"

Leo watched as a corridor in front of him suddenly illuminated.

"will take you to new places and things which you cannot imagine,"

Leo noted Don's tone. The small spirit did not seem to think that the new places and things were something that Leo should be too eager to find out about.

"and behind you-"

A second corridor illuminated behind Leo and he snapped his head back around in surprise.

"lies pain and the familiar. You must choose, Leo. Choose wisely, do not make the same mistake that I did."

Leo turned to face the corridor that had opened up behind him and heard a small tsking noise from Donatello's spirit, one that Leo had long since learned to associate with Don objecting to an idea or action. He froze and looked at his brother, noting the fear on the smaller turtle's features. In that look, Leo suddenly understood what he had to do. "Behind you lies pain and the familiar." Leo repeated quietly. He stood and faced the corridor that he had originally seen open in front of him, and he backed into the one behind him. The small smile on Don's face was the last thing he saw before blinding pain assaulted his body.

* * *

Leonardo gave a small groan. 

"LEO!" Mikey shouted, hearing the small noise, and hoping that it signaled the end of Leo's coma. "Can you hear me, bro?"

Raph, Splinter, Casey and April all looked on, hoping the same thing that Mikey was. All broke into a cheer when Leo opened his eyes.

"We thought you were gone, bro!" Raph exclaimed.

"I was." Leo admitted. "But he helped me come back." Leo found that he was too tired to keep his eyes open anymore.

"Who's he?" Mikey asked as he looked up at the family that stood behind him.

"If I had to guess," Splinter responded, "I would say that the 'he' Leonardo is referring to, is your brother."

Raph looked around, and found no sign of Don. "If Leo's back, and they were together then where's Don?"

"I do not know, Raphael. I do not know." Splinter admitted sadly. This was the first time in thirteen years that he had questioned whether or not he would see the fourth turtle again.

* * *

"You know that you do not belong there, and yet you always insist on returning." Several beings said in unison. 

"I do not belong here either." Donatello responded. "At least they want me there. You know that I am not welcome here by anyone other than yourselves." He stood in front of a long table that wrapped around him in a semi-circle.

"You did well as a Guide." The beings around him informed him. "Though you came very close to telling too much."

Donatello did not know how to respond to the statement so he said nothing. He had learned long ago, that silence was most often the correct response in this sort of situation.

"Have you tried to find a place here?"

"I have tried." Don affirmed. "I am constantly being pulled away from my family, and every time I have tried to find a place here, and every time I have failed to do so."

"We get the feeling that you no longer wish to come here."

Don cringed at that. If he was no longer allowed here, he would be permanently banished to the living realm or the dark realm. "That is not the case at all. It is just that I am alone here."

"You complain of being alone, yet you spend much time alone when you are returned to your family."

"There is a difference between choosing to be alone for a time with your family around you and being completely alone."

"You are constantly trying to get around the rules of the system, Donatello." The beings said harshly.

"I defy the nature of the system by what I am. There are none here who can truly relate to me."

"And your family can truly relate to you?"

Donatello hid another cringe. The board was correct, Donatello's family could not truly relate to him, as they had never experienced death. He had to think quickly to come up with a response. "The frustrations and complexities of being a mutant are constant no matter what realm one belongs in."

"You lived in a dark place."

"I did, but the light realm would be a welcome home, but so long as I am alone here, I cannot be happy."

"So you have told us for the past fourteen years." The beings behind the table said.

"And in those fourteen years, that has not changed." Donatello replied, again wishing that his form was a little more impressive than that of a three-year-old mutant turtle, but he'd gotten out of here on sheer cuteness more than once. He gave the board the widest eyes and cutest expression he could manage then smiled sweetly. "Please let me go back to my family."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"He's not back?" Leonardo asked, growing more distressed with every day that passed.

"Sorry, haven't seen 'im." Mikey responded sadly with a slow apologetic shake of his head.

"He said that what he'd told me might get him into trouble..." Leo commented cryptically.

"What are you talking about?" Raph asked. Leo was not making sense and had made other, similar comments since he had woken up too.

"When I was in the dark," Leo explained. "Don was there with me. He helped me come back, but what if he told me too much, and now he's stuck there?" he continued in concern. "He's all alone there."

Splinter watched the interaction from the doorway. He had known for fourteen years that one day, Donatello would not be allowed to return, but watching Leo on the couch now was like seeing the scared three-year-old so long ago, upset because his brother was unloved.

* * *

"_His Guide could not help him, the choice was unfair." _

"_The rules are the rules; closest spirit is The Guide. That is how it has been for all eternity." _

"_But what of now? They are a unique family, who would be their closest spirit now. Had he not been here, who would have helped the other one?"_

_There was silence for a long moment before anyone else spoke. _

"_Hamato Yoshi." _

"_And he could have assisted him appropriately. The choice we made regarding the first one was in error. It should have been Yoshi then too." _

"_We cannot go back and change what has happened."_

_  
"But we can give him a second chance."

* * *

_

Splinter felt suddenly compelled to answer the door. No one had knocked, but he still felt driven to open it. He stood, crossed the room, opened the door and stared for a long moment at what he found. Small motions that had long been absent had returned. What he had found on the other side of that door caused him to feel shocked, frightened and overjoyed all at once.

"Leonardo, there is someone at the door, that I believe you want to see!" Master Splinter called out. Even as he did so, he realized that his life was about to change... again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** This chapter in particular, along with a handful of other chapters, will borrow events from the 2003 cartoon series. The borrowed events belong to the series and are the genius work of the show's creators. The different circumstances in this story necessitate the retelling of certain events with a slight twist. As always, I don't own the ninja turtles or associated characters. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm.

* * *

**  
Chapter 7**

Leonardo was still healing. With Donatello's return Leo's most immediate concern had been removed. Unfortunately, it had quickly been replaced. Despite his injuries, he had found a project to throw himself into. A project that Splinter felt might be healing for both in question.

Donatello had been returned as he had left just about fourteen years ago. He was a too small, three-year-old child with a horribly depleted immune system, barely clinging to life as he fought a renewed battle against the disease that had originally taken him from them. With the better heating options and medicine available to them now, Splinter hoped that the child would win the fight with this second chance. All the same, someone was watching the small turtle at all times. Leonardo had taken the responsibility upon himself to do so whenever he was awake, and even when Leo was asleep he could often be found cradling Donnie in his arms. Both seemed so comfortable with the arrangement that they were seldom separated by anyone. Another reason the family pretty much let the pair be was that both had a tendency to fuss when the small turtle was pulled from the larger one's arms.

In the days since Donatello's return to life it had become apparent that he retained no memory of the past fourteen years, nor of the fact that he had once been one of four. While it was probably better for the young child not to be subject to the confusion that would have resulted if he had remembered having brothers his age, it did nothing to ease the transition for the rest of the family. Leonardo had been immediately taken by the small turtle, and Michelangelo was quickly coming around and figuring out how to react to and interact with Donatello. The individual who was having considerably more trouble with the situation than everyone else was Raphael. He seemed at a complete loss as far as how he should treat his now baby brother. Splinter found the situation very strange, though he felt very happy that the powers that be saw fit to return Donatello to life after all the frustrations he had been through over the past 14 years, he just hoped that this time they would be able to keep him that way.

Currently, Leo sat in a chair near the fire underneath an electric blanket. In his arms he held Donatello, whose breathing had become easier over the past couple of days. The older turtle was a little hot, but more than willing to take the heat in order to stay with the small one who needed it so desperately at the moment. Leo smiled when Donnie snuggled against his plastron. The child may not have retained any memory of guiding Leo back to this world, but Leo did, and it was something he would never forget and did not believe that he would ever be able to repay.

* * *

Raphael wanted to go back to the city. Shredder deserved a little pay back, and they were going to have it. Leonardo, on the other hand, seemed quite content to stay where they were at the farmhouse. He was training again, but his heart was no longer in it. His swords were gone, and they had been almost as much a part of him as his arms or legs were. 

As Donatello ever so slowly overcame his illness, he began to spend more time away from Leonardo. His boundless curiosity dragging him off to explore his surroundings without being attached to the side of the blue-masked turtle as he had been since his return. It was not what Leonardo intended, but he found Donnie's increasing independence disheartening. He became mopey and began to spend more and more time alone in the barn.

Raphael came downstairs and found Splinter, April and Donnie in the main room. April and Splinter were having a quiet conversation and each kept half an eye on the young turtle who seemed to be happily dismantling an old toy April had found in the attic after taking the toaster away from him... again.

Raph did not quite know yet what to make of the turtle who had once been his brother. He was not about to push the child out of the family, but he had no idea what their relationship would become. Another mystery in Raph's mind was how to treat Donatello. Leo and Mikey seemed to have overcome their own confusion about how to treat the turtle who had once been their dead brother, and that made Raph just a little jealous of them – though he would never admit to it. As odd as it seemed at first glance, Raph felt that dead brother escaped from the spirit realm was easier to deal with than living, baby brother was. He'd forgotten several times that the three year old form was no longer just a form. This had often resulted in him frightening the child which angered Splinter and Mikey and truly pissed Leo – who was being way too overprotective in Raph's book – off.

"Where is everybody?" Raphael asked as he reached the main floor.

"Casey had _better_ still be outside." April huffed. "Mikey is probably out in the woods."

"Despite explicit instructions to stay in the yard." Splinter added.

Raph could not help but notice that one family member was still unaccounted for in his mind. "...and Leo?" He asked carefully.

April and Splinter looked at each other, neither seemed to know where the blue-masked turtle had gone.

"Ba'n." Donnie commented, looking up from the toy. "Not happy." He added sadly.

"Nope," Raph said, looking at Splinter for a moment before finally moving to where the small turtle sat on the floor. He knelt down beside the child and tried to speak gently, but it wound up sounding more condescending to him than gentle. "I don't imagine that he is." He rubbed Donnie's head a little roughly and smiled at the child a little awkwardly. "I'm going to go see what I can do to cheer him up, ok?" When Donnie smiled back, Raph nodded and left the house.

As the red-masked turtle walked toward the red building, he wondered again about just how he should treat Donatello now that he had been returned to them as a small child. Raph had no memory of when Don had been a living turtle before. The group had simply been too young when Don died to remember what it had been like. And even then, they had all been the same age. This was different. Raph's only memory of the brother he had grown up with had been from Don's time as a spirit. He found Donatello's new status as a young, living, breathing mutant turtle endlessly confusing. Out in the barn, he could not hear the truck that drove up.

Raphael leaned up against a post and watched as Leo pulled a piece of metal from the pile of scrap in the corner and swished it a couple of times.

"Lookin' good, Leo."

In response to the unexpected comment, Leo whipped his head around and spotted his brother behind him.

"Leave me alone, Raph, I am_ really_ not in the mood." He replied, hoping that his red-masked brother would just go away.

"For what?" Leo's response to the comment he had made had been honestly confusing. It sounded as though the blue-masked turtle had taken Raph's previous comment as an insult, which was actually the last thing Raph had intended. A slight jibe perhaps, but not an insult.

"I don't need to hear how I messed everything up back in New York. I got my shell kicked, ok? I admit it. I let everyone down. I even lost my swords!" he paused for a moment and looked at the floor. More than a slight glare came over his features. "And I nearly caused us to lose Don for good." He threw the piece of metal to the ground. "It was all my fault. I never should have gone on that run."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. I wasn't about to say anything like that. I was going to ask you what you're doin' out here."

Leo looked morosely down at the pile of scrap metal and gently kicked at it. "Nothing."

"That's too bad," Raph said as he hefted the piece of metal that Leo had thrown. It looked like a pretty good starting piece to him, and he was fairly certain that Leo had known that when he'd thrown it. "because I know what you should be doing, and I think you do too."

Leo looked up at Raphael then at the piece of metal. The way Raph was holding the scrap looked far too familiar, painfully familiar, and Leo knew exactly what his brother was suggesting. He glanced to the corner of the barn, it would work. How convenient that Casey's grandma had a forge in her barn.

* * *

"You mean to tell me you've never seen the show Monster Hunter?" Casey asked incredulously? "I'm tellin' ya, the woman is insane!" 

"Maybe if this Dr. Abigail Finn person doesn't find anything, she'll just go away." April suggested.

"You obviously haven't seen the show." Casey exclaimed. "She's an obsessed nut-job! She'll find her green man monster no matter what. I can't believe you let old man Hackett get a video of you in the woods, Mikey."

"I say we go after that videotape!" Mikey crowed. Casey nodded, and the pair headed out the door.

April and Splinter remained in the house with Donatello. Considering that the small turtle was about to decide just how much he wanted to be with the other turtles, how difficult it was to blacksmith and how obsessed Dr. Abigail Finn was with monsters, everyone was going to have their work cut out for them.

* * *

Splinter and April's job was made much easier when Casey and Michelangelo returned far too soon and half frozen. While Casey and Mikey were warming up, Donnie sat in Mikey's lap and played with the larger turtle's blanket. He had part of a half-forgotten toy in his other hand. 

"We didn't get it," Mikey admitted. "but this time we will. I have a plan!"

"Oh, yeah, great." Casey grumbled. Mikey's last brilliant idea had resulted in them nearly being frozen to death. All the same, he would find himself dressed up in leaves and branches right alongside Mikey and Master Splinter later that evening and well into the next morning.

"Oops." Donnie chirped as he dropped the piece of his toy in the water at Mikey's feet. For a moment the young boy watched the toy floating in the warm water. He then looked up at the orange-masked turtle with a slightly sad and exceptionally innocent expression on his face. Mikey almost immediately fished the piece of toy out of the bath he had his feet in and returned it to the child in his lap.

* * *

It was early and Donatello had become insistent on going outside. April knew as well as any of them did that they had to keep the child warm or risk him getting sick again, and the best way to do that was to keep him inside. There was also the added threat of Dr. Finn. Still, April eventually found herself agreeing to Donnie's much repeated request to go outside. She pulled a sweatshirt from her bag and put it on the little turtle. It was way too big for him, and he was continually tripping over the sleeves, but it would keep him warmer than anything else she could think of. Splinter, Casey and Mikey had been gone for several hours at this point, and she was beginning to worry about them. As she opened the door and allowed Donatello outside, Mikey and Master Splinter came out of the woods sans the leaves they had been wearing earlier. Most of the leaves anyway, Splinter was still picking stray foliage out of his fur. Mikey was carrying a videotape. Donnie raced from April's side to his approaching family members, tripping over the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing twice along the way. 

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Mikey asked as he lifted Donnie from the ground.

"Want Leo!" The little turtle exclaimed happily in Mikey's arms. "But find you!"

"Yeah, you did. Want to help me ruin this tape?" Mikey asked. When Donnie grinned and nodded, Mikey ripped off the top cover of the cassette and started pulling the tape inside free. He ripped one end loose and handed it to Donnie. "Now run with this as far as it will go" Donnie nodded and took off toward the barn. When the tape either ran out or got snagged on something behind him he dropped it and continued on his way. He did not hear Casey come back as he went into the barn just in time to see Leo sheathe his newly finished swords for the first time.

Leo smiled gratefully at Raphael before spotting Donnie at the door. Raph noticed the surprised look on Leo's face and turned to where his brother was looking.

"Hey, kiddo." Raph grinned. He was in a particularly jovial mood at the moment. "What are you doing out here?" He had to laugh at the confused look on Donatello's face as the little turtle watched Leo.

"What's?" Donnie pointed at Leo, and it took a moment for the older turtles to figure out what the child was so curious about. Leo figured it out first. He picked Donnie up off the floor.

"Those are my swords. Raphael just helped me make them."

"s'o'ds" Donnie attempted to repeat the word. When he reached out to touch them, Leo allowed him to play with the handles as the blades were safely sheathed. The next thing that came out of Donnie's mouth left both of the older turtles speechless.

"I make, Daddy!"

Leo could only stare at Donatello as the young turtle reached into the pocket of the sweatshirt he was wearing and pulled out a piece of wire that had been crudely bent into the shape of a heart. The blue-masked turtle could not decide whether or not to correct the child for calling him 'daddy'. When Donnie's face began to fall into concern, Leo almost missed it. Lucky for him, Raphael had his back.

"It's a wonderful heart, Donnie. Isn't it, Leo?" Raph laughed again as he recognized the wire from the toaster that Donnie had been caught taking apart before they had found some real toys for him. Apparently, the little moppet had nicked off with part of the appliance.

Leo was snapped back to the present by the sound of Raphael's voice. "Yes." He said slowly, looking Donatello in the eyes. "It is a wonderful heart. Thank you." When Donnie's face lit up in a bright smile, Leo could not help but return it. Before he was drawn back to the present, Raph spoke.

"I'm going to go get the other's, ok? You wait here. Kind of a grand re-entrance sort of thing?"

"Raph, don't! It's too embarrassing." But before Leo could finish the response, Raphael was gone. He turned to Donnie. "You know, that guy can be a real pain in the shell." He commented with a grin.

"Funny Daddy!" Donnie giggled as he threw his arms around Leo's neck. "Love you!"

"I love you too." Leo hugged the little turtle, gave him a quick kiss on top of the head then put him back on the ground as the others approached at the barn door. He pulled his swords from their sheathes and smiled at the small noise of awe that Donnie made behind him.

"Allow me to introduce you to...Leonardo: new and improved." Raph stated as he stepped out of the way.

"Heh," Leo blushed. "Hey everyone." His family outside cheered and Leo felt even more embarrassed. Donnie ran up behind him and hugged his leg. He looked to Raph and Mikey then glanced down at Donnie. If there was one thing that he did not want, it was for Donatello to grow up in a world with the Shredder. In that moment he made a decision.

"Guys, I think it's time that we returned to New York and finished our business with the Shredder." Mikey and Raph both cheered the announcement.

"My sons, we will be short one fighter in this battle." Splinter commented, looking down at the tiny turtle who was still hugging Leo's leg.

"I understand, Sensei," Leo said confidently. "but I do not want Donatello to grow up fearing the Shredder. Donnie deserves better. I say we take the Shredder down now."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **_A Dutch Lullaby_, also known as _Wynkin, Blynkin and Nod_ by Eugene Field is used in this chapter. This common nursery rhyme is in the public domain. Its inclusion in this chapter is **_not_** a violation of copyright or the rules of this site. As usual, I do not own the ninja turtles or associated characters. I make no money from this. I mean no harm, please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The Shredder had fallen to his own blade. Leonardo had removed their arch nemesis' head with the Sword of Tengu mere weeks ago, and Splinter had been returned to them shortly after that, having spent some time missing in action. Still, it seemed to Raphael as though a couple of months had passed. That was mostly because he and his brothers had spent three weeks gallivanting across the galaxies thanks to the utroms and their transmat.

Raphael was exiting the kitchen when he spotted his blue-masked brother sitting on the couch reading to Donatello. Donnie smacked the book with playful excitement as Leo read. Every once in a while Leo would pause in the story and make some sound effect or silly face at the child, and Donnie would squeal in delight and either try, with varying degrees of success, to imitate Leo or would make some small comment of his own, usually in the form of a question. The two looked for all the world like the perfect father and son pair.

The sight before him, as happy and sweet as it was, caused Raphael to frown. He almost missed it when Splinter came up behind him.

"Is something wrong, My Son?" Splinter asked as he also faced the happy pair in the living room and watched as Leonardo continued to entertain the baby turtle in his lap. While Splinter had been saddened to learn that Donatello saw Leonardo as his father, he had since found that being grandfather was not such a bad thing. Grandfather could leave cranky grandson in father's care and just enjoy the times that the child was in a good mood. Additionally, grandfather could enjoy grandson's happy antics without having to punish him. Splinter considered both wonderful bonuses, especially at bath time. He turned his attention back to Leonardo and Donatello. The blue-masked terrapin was seemingly oblivious to the presence of his father and brother in the doorway as he played with his son.

"Uh, no. I'm ok, Sensei." Raphael lied through his teeth. One would think that by now he would know that Master Splinter caught that sort of thing every single time.

"Hmm..." Splinter said nothing, but he did not move from Raphael's side either. "Are you jealous of your brother, Raphael?"

"What? No! No, of course not." Raph insisted quickly and quietly, hoping that his outburst went unnoticed by the two turtles in the living room. "Well, maybe a little. But not because Donnie decided that Leo's his dad or nothing like that. I guess I just..." Raph sighed and was unsure of how to continue.

Again Splinter said nothing as he waited for Raphael to sort out his own mind. He had a pretty good idea of what had his red-masked son so upset, but he wanted Raphael to sort it out on his own.

"I guess I just don't know how to interact with him." Raph finally admitted. "I mean, he's still Don... kinda, but at the same time he's not. I don't have a clue how to treat him. Leo just makes it seem so easy. I mean, look at them." He gestured toward the pair in the other room.

Splinter smiled at his red-masked son and student. "Donatello is a child, little more than a baby. The best way to treat him is as the baby he currently is."

Raphael's attention was called away from the conversation with Splinter as Donnie squealed in delight once again and smacked the book that Leo was trying to read to him with both hands. Leonardo laughed at the child and pulled Donnie a little closer to him as he continued reading.

As he watched the two happy turtles, Raph tried to figure out what he was doing wrong. Almost anytime he held Donnie, the young turtle would scream relentlessly until he was released, but Leo could hold and play with Donnie for hours on end. It was almost like Master Splinter could hear his thoughts. Raph sometimes wondered if Master Splinter actually did have some sort of telepathic ability. He was just so good at knowing exactly what was wrong.

"You, Raphael, are hard around the edges. Your actions have scared him in the past, and he has not forgotten." Master Splinter explained quietly, snapping Raphael out of his thoughts. "Be gentle with him, My Son. He will come around."

Raph just gave a small nod, indicating that he had heard his sensei's advice as he turned his attention back to Donnie and Leo. The older turtle was gently stroking the book while Donnie watched him intently, soaking whatever Leo was saying up like a little, green sponge. A moment later Donnie also stroked the book gently while looking up at the blue-masked turtle to make sure he was doing it right. Leo nodded and smiled down at the child in his lap. It was then that Raph figured out what was going on. It was nothing more nor less than a quick lesson in how to treat a book.

"We need to be nice to the book." Leo's gentle yet firm voice drifted over to the observers when Donnie smacked the pages one more time. "We do not hit the book." Again Donnie stroked the book and looked up at Leo who smiled and gave the young child a quick hug before flipping the page to another story.

Raphael stood there in the doorway, transfixed by Leo's story telling. He did not quite know what it was that had so captured his attention, but Leonardo had Raphael hanging on his every word. When the end of the story came and Raph realized what had happened, he almost laughed at himself. Since when had he EVER cared what Leo had to say? Perhaps that was being a little harsh, but he certainly did not remember ever being transfixed by Leo talking before. He looked up at the father and son pair and noticed that Donnie did not look nearly as excited as he had been earlier.

The small turtle was leaning back against Leo's chest with his eyes half closed. Even Raph could tell that the kid was sleepy. He also knew that this was something that Leo did every day just before nap time. It was like clockwork, reading time came just before nap time. And Leonardo was about to pull out the finishing blow. Raphael watched as Leo went through the recently acquired ritual.

Leonardo closed the book and shifted so the young turtle was cradled safely in his arms. Donnie let his daddy move him around without resistance as he waited for what he knew was coming. He heard it every day, and yet he had never heard the ending.

The entire family knew how hard Donnie tried to stay awake for the end, but he had never made it. It was quickly becoming something of a joke. Perhaps if someone else had recited it to him it would have been a different story, but listening to Leo recite the poem even made Raphael sleepy. This was something that Leo truly had a gift for. The fact that he waited until Donnie was just about to drop was an added advantage that Leo always made use of.

_"Wynkin, Blynkin and Nod one night, sailed off in a wooden shoe  
Sailed on a river of crystal light, into a sea of dew.  
Where are you going and what do you wish? The old moon asked the three.  
We've come to fish for the herring fish that live in your beautiful sea.   
Nets of silver and gold have we, said Wynkin, Blynkin and Nod."_

Leo spoke slowly, letting each phrase loll along, flowing over his tongue like the gentle rocking of a ship on calm day in the open ocean. His voice danced to a slow measure that was in no hurry to get anywhere. By the end of the first verse, Raph could see that Donnie was losing the battle to stay awake for the whole poem. The little turtle's eyes started drifting shut.

"_The old moon laughed and sang a song, as they rocked in the wooden shoe;  
And the wind that sped them all night long ruffled the waves of dew;  
The little stars were the herring-fish that lived in the beautiful sea.  
'Now cast your nets wherever you wish, but never afeard are we!'  
So cried the stars to the fishermen three, Wynken, Blynken and Nod."_

Donnie snapped awake near the end of the verse, and Raph heard Leo chuckle slightly. It was something of a game between the two; Donnie tried to stay awake for the whole poem while Leo did everything in his power to put the child to sleep. So far, Leo was the undisputed champion. Despite Donnie's snapping awake at the end of verse two, it looked like Leo was well on his way to another victory. Donnie yawned impressively for such a small turtle and snuggled into his daddy's arms despite his intense desire to stay awake for the conclusion of the poem.

"_So all night long their nets they threw to the stars in the twinkling foam.  
'Til down from the skies came the wooden shoe bringing the fishermen home.  
'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed as if it could not be.  
Some folks say 'twas a dream they dreamed of sailing that misty sea.  
But I shall name you the fisherman three - Wynkin, Blynkin, and Nod."_

By the middle of verse three he was asleep and, as usual, missed out on the fourth and final verse. The tiny mutant had managed to stay awake for more of the poem than usual today. However, the fact that Donnie was always asleep never once prevented Leo from reciting the poem in its entirety as he carried his small son up to bed. Raphael found himself quietly trailing his brother up the stairs so he could witness the rest of the daily ritual.

"_Wynkin and Blynkin are two little eyes, and Nod is a little head.  
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies is a wee one's trundle bed.  
Now close your eyes as your father sings of the wonderful sights that be.  
And you shall see those beautiful things that as you sail on that misty sea.  
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three – Wynkin, Blynkin and Nod."_

As the poem concluded, Leo bent down and kissed a sleeping Donnie on the forehead before turning out the light and leaving the room. Raphael tried to stifle a yawn as Leo finished the poem. Yup, Leo had a real gift when it came to reciting that poem. Right now, Raph would have loved to join Donnie in his nap time, but they had training to get in while the child was asleep and out of the way.

* * *

When training was over Leo went upstairs to wake Donnie up. The tiny turtle was still asleep, and that worried Leo slightly. Usually Donnie was awake and waiting by now. He made a mental note of it and woke the child. Donnie seemed a little groggier than usual, but he showed no other outward signs of being sick again. Leo bundled him up in a sweatshirt all the same. As he came downstairs with Donnie, Mikey joined them. 

"Hey kiddo!" Mikey greeted. "Have a nice nap?" The only response he got was a yawn and a mildly annoyed Donnie rubbing his eyes.

"That good, huh?" Mikey laughed. He looked up at Leo and caught the concern in the blue-masked turtle's eyes. A quiet sigh escaped Mikey as he turned back to Donnie. "So, you gonna let Uncle Mikey have a little baby time?"

Donnie held his little arms out to Mikey and the orange-masked turtle obliged him, pulling the child close. Almost immediately Donnie's head fell to Mikey's shoulder and rested there. Mikey frowned and carried the still sleepy child to the main room.

Usually, Mikey would play games like tag or hide and seek with Donnie during this time, but he got the impression that the child was not exactly up for that sort of game today. Instead he got out a set of blocks. This particular set had some with weighted ends, allowing them to balance out to one side of a structure. Donnie still had a little way to go before mastering these blocks. He kept trying to put weighted blocks on the ends of ones that stuck out to the side. Every single time be did so, the edifice would collapse. Mikey frowned as he saw Donnie preparing to accidentally destroy the structure again. Usually the young turtle took it in stride and just started over again. Today, though, Donnie was in no mood to have the thing fall down on him – some of it literally – and he broke into tears. Mikey pulled the child close and decided to try explaining the weighed and non-weighted blocks.

Raphael watched from the doorway as Mikey explained the blocks to the sobbing little turtle. The voice was different, but the tone was the same one Leo had used earlier when he had been reading. Every time Raph spoke to Donnie it sounded condescending to his ears, and the response he got from the child was less than pleasant. Leo and Mikey did not sound like that. They sounded like they were just talking in a slightly calmer, less brassy tone of voice. Raph watched the pair for a moment longer as Mikey calmed Donnie down and they returned to playing with the blocks. He'd have to work on it, but Raph really wanted to learn that tone of voice. For the first time since all this began he realized that he really did want to be Uncle Raphy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **_Pat-a-cake_ is used in this chapter. This common nursery rhyme is in the public domain. Its inclusion in this chapter is **_not_** a violation of copyright or the rules of this site. As usual, I do not own the ninja turtles or associated characters. I make no money from this. I mean no harm, please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Raphael had gone out on a patrol with Casey and Michelangelo while Leonardo stayed home to be with Donatello who had started coughing as afternoon turned into evening. The patrolling trio had come across a few scattered Foot Soldiers. In the process of taking them down and preventing an attempted robbery of some strange items that Raph had no name for, he had been injured. As soon as the Foot had been dispersed, they had called it a night. Mikey then helped his red-masked brother limp home despite said brother's protests. Even with Mikey's help, Raph's ankle had swollen to the size of a large grapefruit by the time they'd reached the lair.

The next morning when Leo woke Donnie up, the small child was chilled and groggy. As the bedrooms tended to be colder than the main level for whatever strange reason, Leo wrapped Donnie up in the purple sweatshirt that had been 'borrowed' from April and carried him downstairs for breakfast. At least that had been the intention. Donnie had flatly refused to eat anything and Leo had been forced to settle for getting a little juice into the child's system. This, of course, shot Leo's natural tendency to be overprotective of the tiny turtle into overdrive.

Raph was sitting on the couch, keeping his injured ankle up on the table as per Master Splinter's orders – though he was still grumping about it at every opportunity – when Leo sat down next to him with a sick and sleepy Donnie cradled in his arms. Donnie eyed Raph warily and tried to scoot as far away from him as he could while remaining in his daddy's warm, protective embrace. Reaching the end of his runway, he buried his face in Leo's elbow and fell asleep there. Leo carefully picked up a heating pad from the floor and turned it on before placing it over the ill child. He would have probably stayed there like that for most of the day had there been no interferences.

* * *

Master Splinter moved quickly back into the lair proper from the nearby sewer tunnels. He had spotted a few problems that were dangerously close to their home. Waiting for the humans to come take care of the tunnels was risky. There was the distinct possibility that no one else was aware of the problems, and even if they were, there was the remote possibility that the lair would be discovered by the repair workers. The security system that Donatello had created while a spirit was still in place and holding just fine, but without him in a position to repair the system they were going to have to be extra careful. 

"Leonardo, Michelangelo." Splinter called out as he came into the lair. "I require your assistance in the tunnels."

Leo opened his mouth to object to leaving the lair at this particular moment in time, but Splinter was quick to insist that the blue-masked turtle's presence was required in the tunnels.

"Raphael can take care of Donatello while we are gone. It should not take long, My son." Splinter said.

It was Raph's turn to object. "But Master Splinter, he hates me." He said of the baby turtle.

"Donatello does not hate you, Raphael." Splinter stated. "He does not know you. Perhaps this would be a good time for you two to get to know one another."

"Sensei, he's sick." Leo added his own objections to the idea once more.

"I understand that, Leonardo, I also understand that this job is going to require three pairs of hands, and that Raphael is injured and unable to assist."

Leo sighed as he was unable to argue with Splinter's logic on this one. He gently shifted the small turtle he held and offered the still sleeping child to Raphael.

Raph carefully, if awkwardly, accepted Donnie. The small movement was sufficient to pull the child from his rest just enough to blink and look around in an attempt to figure out what was going on. As soon as he did, he snapped awake then started screaming and trying to get away from his uncle. Raph had to fight to hold onto the squirming and frightened young turtle as Leo did what he could to calm down his son.

"Donnie, you need to stay with Uncle Raph for a while. He'll take good care of you." Leo put his hands on Donnie's shoulders and helped keep him in Raph's arms. Still Donnie continued to scream and fight against both father and uncle, desperately seeking a way out of the unfamiliar arms. Finally, Leo had pulled the sobbing and coughing child away from Raphael. He held the tiny turtle close and hugged him tightly until Donnie's sobs turned to hiccups and his coughing quieted.

Splinter watched the scene sadly. Leonardo sent him a glance, begging to be allowed to stay with his distraught child, but Splinter was not going to budge on this subject. The job did have to be done, and three people were required to do it. Raphael could not help with his injury so that left only himself, Leonardo and Michelangelo. Additionally, Donatello would have to learn to trust Raphael sometime, and this was as good a time as any, despite the child's illness.

"Why won't you let Raph hold you?" Leo asked in that soothing tone Raphael was so jealous of as he rocked the child. "I know he's loud and kind of growly," Leo ignored the glare from his brother and continued talking to his young son. "but he's a great guy, I promise. You don't have to be afraid of him."

"I ain't gonna hurt ya, Donnie." Raph said, mentally kicking himself for the sarcastic and condescending tone in his voice when he was trying for gentle.

"See," Leo said to his son even as he gave his brother a look that said his tone was not helping. "Raph just wants to take care of you too. Maybe he'll even play a game or read to you? Would you like that?"

Donnie sniffled and shook his head obstinately into Leo's neck. He did not feel well, and all he wanted to do right now was huddle in his daddy's lap under a nice warm blanket and sleep. Unfortunately for the little turtle, that was not going to happen.

"Come on, baby, I'll only be gone a little while." Leo promised. "Raph's not going to hurt you. Will you, Raph?"

Raph had been sitting on the couch, glaring at the floor and feeling like a jerk for having scared Donnie so bad that the child refused to come anywhere near him. Normally, Donnie didn't object quite this strenuously, but Raph guessed that the ferocity the tantrum had something to do with the small turtle's illness. In his stewing, it took Raph a moment to realize that he'd been addressed. The red-masked turtle had been changing tones with Donnie ever since the child's return, trying to find one that consistently received a positive response. Positive as in not scaring the bejeezus out of the kid. He had yet to succeed.

"No, I'd never hurt you, kiddo." Raph inwardly cringed at his own voice that had sounded almost sadistic to him. He sounded like some sort of twisted stalker. No wonder the kid was terrified of him.

"Come on, Donnie, please go to Raph." Leo begged quietly of his small son who only tried to burrow deeper into his daddy's arms.

"I won't bite, Donnie, I promise."

_Magic._ Raphael found the tone his brothers had been using!

Donnie continued to sniffle in his daddy's arms, but he seemed less adamant about getting away from Raph. A large part of that was due to him finally wearing out after fighting so hard to escape from his uncle, but Raph liked to think that losing the sadistic stalker voice was helping a bit.

Leo shifted Donnie in his arms so he could see his son's little tear-stained face. He gently wiped away the last of Donnie's tears and smiled sadly at the small turtle. "I need to go help Master Splinter and Uncle Mikey with something. Will you please be good and let Raph watch you? He'll take good care of you, I promise, and I'll be back before you know it." When Donnie tried to get back to Leo's shoulder, the elder turtle sighed and rocked the child a moment longer before trying to hand him to Raphael again.

"Hey, Donnie." Raph greeted in the new-found tone that he hoped wouldn't scare the poor kid. "We're gonna have a great time while Daddy's away, right?"

Donnie just looked at his uncle warily for a moment before turning back to his daddy with tears in his eyes. Leo swallowed and picked up the heating pad from where it had been discarded on the couch. He handed the item to Raph.

"Make sure he stays warm. And try to keep him from getting too excited. When he gets excited he coughs. If he starts coughing too badly, there's some medicine he can take in the bathroom." Leo was careful not to actually look at Donnie as he spoke because he'd caught a glimpse of his child's face and just that brief look was breaking his resolve to go and do what he needed to do. "Oh, and if his temperature absolutely refuses to stay constant, the baby Tylenol helped a last time, but it also tends to make him a cold so you have to be extra sure to keep him warm if you give it to him."

"Leo." Raph cut into the spiel. He might not be Donnie's dad, but he knew which medicines were for the kid and what Leo made sure happened to keep the turtle tot alive and healthy.

"I have my shell cell, and I don't think we're going too far. If anything happens. If he gets worse at all, call me."

"Leo!" Raph insisted, startling Donnie to tears again. "Shh... it's ok, Donnie, I'm sorry." Raph said, returning to the calm tones. His words did little to alleviate the situation, but Donnie had refrained from actively fighting his way out of Raph's arms again.

When Raph called Leo out of his worried (paranoid) spiel, the blue-masked turtle spared Donnie a glance. The tiny turtle looked back at him with pleading eyes. Big, brown, watery baby eyes begged Daddy to stay. Leo wanted to do just that, but he knew that Splinter would never allow it with the current threat to their home. In fact, Leo knew that Splinter was right to take care of the little problems now, before they became big problems. Leo crouched down in front of his son. Donnie held out his arms to be taken from Raph, but Leo just shook his head and ran a thumb along his small son's cheek.

"I need to go for a while, ok? I'll be back before you know it."

"Daddy." Donnie cried plaintively. The tears that had been just barely contained in his eyes slipped free.

"Shh... You'll be fine. I'll be back." Leo kissed the child on the forehead then stood up, turned around and crossed to Splinter who had been joined by Mikey a short while ago. "Can we get this done quickly?" He asked, trying to push away the sound of Donnie's quiet crying and the interspersed coughing.

Raph frowned and rubbed Donnie's arm. This was going to be an... 'interesting' experience. As the door shut behind the exiting trio, Donnie started bawling again and Raph had no idea how to make him stop.

"Donnie," Raph started as the child began squirming again. "Donnie, Donnie, no! Stop it, calm down!"

For a brief moment, the small turtle continued wailing for Leo before he was completely overcome by a coughing fit. The resulting discomfort moving to the fore of his attentions, he no longer really noticed whose arms were wrapped around him. All he knew as the coughing subsided was that whatever the person holding him was doing to his neck felt _really_ good.

Raph ran his thumb gently along the back and sides of Donnie's neck in hopes of relaxing the child. Apparently, it was working, because the small turtle quieted almost instantly.

Donnie eventually looked up from his spot and realized that it was none other than Uncle Raph who was doing that thing that felt so good. He gazed up at the older turtle with something between wariness and almost shocked curiosity. "Unca Waph?"

"Yeah, kiddo?" Raphael responded in that tone of voice he'd discovered only moments ago. He almost faltered back to the creepy one, but had managed to recover before scaring the kid.

For a long moment Donnie just looked up at his uncle before reaching out to the coffee table in front of them, his arms were too short to reach what he wanted so he had to settle for pointing at it. "Wead?" he asked sleepily.

"Uh... yeah," Raph half chuckled as he reached out for the book on the table. "Sure, I can read to ya." He shifted on the couch so he was laying down with his injured leg propped up on the armrest before settling Donnie next to him. When both were secure and comfortable, Raph tucked a heating pad and blanket around the small turtle. Once making sure that both he and Donnie could see the book, Raph began to read. He continued to do so until both of them were asleep.

* * *

"You didn't really need me out here at all, did you." Leonardo stated crossly as the trio made their way back to the lair. The repairs had drug them farther from their home than anyone had initially anticipated. "You and Mikey could have handled it alone." 

"Possibly, but you know as well as anyone that we use spotters for that sort of job, Leonardo. And you know why."

Leo was still peeved. "This wasn't really about getting the repair done at all, was it."

Splinter eyed his son and student. "The repair needed to be done. You saw that the moment we arrived."

The truth of that statement did nothing to calm Leonardo. He was still angry about being forced to leave Donnie like that. Not only was the child upset by spending time with Raphael under the best of circumstances, but he was sick too. The repair could have waited a day or two. It had also taken much longer than anyone had expected. They had been out of the lair for nearly four hours, and Leo was not happy about that in the slightest.

* * *

The small turtle had slept for about three hours, and it seemed to have done wonders for him. At the moment both child and uncle sat on the floor facing each other. Raph had repeatedly wrapped a blanket around Donnie's shoulders, but it kept finding its way to the floor. 

"Okay, so what do I do again?"

Donnie laughed, and a small cough escaped him again as he prepared to show Raph the finer points of pat-a-cake. He went through the game slowly to make sure his uncle could keep up.

"_Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake_," Donnie said as he clapped twice then slapped his thighs two times. The sleeves of the too big, purple sweatshirt Leo had wrapped him in before breakfast flapped around as he did so. Donnie watched his uncle carefully to make sure that the older turtle was keeping up with the game. "_Bake'w's man_" The small turtle continued with two more claps before holding his hands out for a double high three from his uncle on the last syllable of the line.

Raph smiled as he held his hands out for Donnie to slap. "Is that it?"

"No." Donnie replied with a giggling tone that was clearly calling Raph silly for not knowing that there was more to the game. He then continued, repeating the gestures from before with new words. "_Bake me a cake as fast as you can_."

"Now is that it?"

"Nooo." Donnie shook his head and laughed this time, coughing quietly before continuing. "_Woll it._" He made a rolling motion with his hands that Raph 'imitated'. "_an' pat it,_" he patted his hands together and waited for Raph to do the same. "_an' ma'k it with a uh..." _Donnie drew a blank. He had no idea what to mark the cake with this time. Daddy and Uncle Mikey marked the cake with a 'D' for Donnie or sometimes a 'B' for baby. The cake got a 'D' for Daddy. There was 'M' for Mikey, but...

_'U'!_" Donnie shouted triumphantly – remembering the other letter Mikey's cakes sometimes got – before making a motion to mark the invisible cake in his hands with what was supposed to be his version of a letter U, but actually looked more like the 'D' Leo and Mikey would make when playing the game with Donnie. "_an' put it in the oven fo' Unca an' me!_" The child finished the game with a flourish by pretending to put the cake in an oven. He threw his hands up in the air when the little poem was over.

"What do we do now?" Raph asked with a smirk, knowing full well that the game was over, but wanting to see how the small turtle would react.

Donnie just blinked in confusion. He thought the little game was over and was afraid that he'd missed some of it. Turning a slightly worried expression to his uncle he quickly covered it as an idea formed. "Uh... lets it cook?"

"Aren't you supposed to keep that leg up, Raph?" A new voice cut in.

"Daddy!" Donnie exclaimed as he jumped up and ran the short distance to Leo. He threw his arms around Leo's leg and hopped a couple times, hoping to be picked up.

"Feeling better, I see." Leo smiled as he lifted his small son from the floor. "That's good. Did you have fun while I was gone?"

"Uh huh!" Donnie nodded brightly and hugged his daddy's neck. He coughed a couple times, signifying that while he did feel better for the time being, he wasn't completely over whatever little bug had found him.

"What did you do?" Leo asked his excited child.

"Uh... we wead an' I teached pat-a-cake to Unca Waphy!"

Raphael smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**

* * *

**

_**(Leonardo's Journal)

* * *

**_

I know that it has been too long, and I know that saying I was busy is no excuse, but I was, and I am. All the same, Donatello is asleep for the night, and I feel that I must the last several months down on paper. Hopefully before the past consumes me.

We thought that we had taken the Shredder down, but we had not. It was only a matter of time before he resurfaced. After the battle with the Shredder almost a year ago now, Master Splinter disappeared and we went to search for him. It was during that time that Donatello really became more my son than Master Splinter's. It is still a little weird to think of him as 'son'. While Master Splinter was gone, Donnie seemed to know that something was wrong, but I do not believe he really understood what it was.

The leads we found took us to the TCRI building. We had to get Splinter back, there was simply no other option. It became apparent early on that we would need both April and Casey in this effort. Michelangelo was the one to suggest that we bring Angel in to babysit. She stayed in the lair with Donatello while the rest of us infiltrated TCRI. That job took a lot longer than we had expected, especially from our point of view. Every single night of the full three weeks that we spent pursued by the Federation and the Triceratons found me a nervous wreck. I honestly believed that I had failed everyone: Master Splinter, my brothers, my friends and especially my son. Imagine my surprise and elation when Splinter revealed that we had only been gone for eight hours here on Earth.

Unfortunately for us, Shredder reared his ugly head again before we were able to leave the building. Raphael powered up the transmat to send the last of the Utroms home and did the best he could to get us out as well. Our first trip took us momentarily to the Utrom homeworld. When they returned us to Earth a second time, we landed on a rooftop three blocks away from April, Casey and the Battle Shell.

Bishop became a new enemy shortly after that, and our fight with the Shredder stepped back, partially because we thought him dead... again. We continued to battle the Foot and put a stop to several of the Shredder's little projects, but we did not go after him again for several months.

During this time, I became serious about Donnie's ninjitsu training. At first, I had asked Master Splinter to train him as he had the rest of us, but he was unwilling. He had been more than capable when my brothers and I were growing up, and he has done well with us, but he could feel himself slowing down. Instead, he entrusted Donnie's training to me. He assisted me at first, but I soon started using my own lesson plans. Michelangelo and Raphael helped out as well. Life was really good for the most part. Still, perhaps Splinter's decision not to train Donnie was for the best after all.

Donatello went to Master Splinter mostly to hear stories. He heard stories of Master Yoshi and Splinter's life before we were mutated, stories of Raphael, Michelangelo and I, stories of battles, fights, friends and family, but he has never heard his own story. No one is sure how to tell him that one. Not even Master Splinter knew how to tell that tale. It is a shame that Donatello will not be able to remember him. Unlike my brother, Master Splinter has not returned to our realm since... since. Or if he did, we were not allowed to see him.

It is still so recent that I sometimes find it hard to believe. Mikey and Raph are dazed most of the time. I do not think Donatello has figured out what is wrong yet, but he knows that something is. I think he might be close to figuring it out though. He has asked of Splinter's whereabouts on a couple of occasions, and I have tried to explain as best I can. As much as I love the child I have taken as a son, right now I wish I had my brother back. I guess I just think that he would know how to respond to this situation.

Yes, the Shredder is gone for good this time; the Utroms banished him to an ice asteroid. The only thing is, I cannot help but think the price we paid was too high. Master Splinter could take care of himself, all he needed was assistance that I could not render. But Donatello... he can't take care of himself yet. If I was not good enough to protect Master Splinter, how can I protect Donatello? I may not have been good enough to protect my father, but I _will_ be good enough to protect my son. Time is wasting, I need to get back to the dojo.

* * *

_**(Michelangelo's Journal)

* * *

**_

Well, I messed it up again. Messing up seems to be all I ever do lately. This afternoon I took out my frustrations on the last person who deserved it. I got my shell waxed in training this morning by both Raph and Leo, then after lunch I tripped on one of Donnie's toys. That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, I guess. Anyway, I went tearing off after the poor kid. It wasn't until Raph came in and took my head off for it that I realized how scared Donnie was. Poor kid had no idea what he'd done. In fact, he hadn't actually done anything so who can blame him for being confused? As it turned out, Leo had left the little stuffie in front of the couch. In fact, it had been there for weeks. The thing practically lived there, and I tore into Donnie after stepping on it. Good job, Mikey, that was real smooth.

I didn't used to be like this. What's with me? Maybe this is just the way things get after you kill your father. That shock was meant for me. It should have been me. I was the one dumb enough to give Shredder a live wire. The not getting out of the way thing was the real clincher. I just sat there and watched like the idiot that I am. Master Splinter jumped in and he got electrocuted instead. By the time the utroms came and got us out of that mess, it was too late for him.

All I've done since is mess up. I'm not quite sure why Leo and Raph put up with me. Somehow, I think that if I were them, I'd have thrown me out a long time ago. Especially after that stunt with Donnie this afternoon. Shell, I'm stupid. Stupid, childish Michelangelo who can't take care of himself and gets mad at defenseless kids who don't deserve it and didn't do anything wrong.

What happened to goofy, fun-loving Michelangelo who loved practical jokes, cooking, and annoying Raphael? I can't find him anymore. I can't say that I like this new me, I want the old me back. I hope I can find the old me again soon. Unfortunately, I just don't think that's going to happen. Maybe what I should say is that I hope to find a new me soon. A me that l can like. A me that doesn't mess up everything he touches.

* * *

_**(Raphael's Journal)

* * *

**_

I am really beginning to worry about Leo and Mikey. I mean, they both seem to think that there was something they could have done to prevent Splinter's death. Yes, I think it sucks that he's gone, but I honestly don't think there was anything they could have done to change anything. It happened. It sucks, but Splinter doesn't seem to be coming back like Don did so we have to move on.

Michelangelo feels guilty. He pretends not to, but I can see it. I know my brothers better than they think I do. They can't hide this stuff from me. And even if they could hide it from me, they suck at it. Even Donnie – geez, that kid is getting big – has noticed that they're upset. I'm not sure he knows what's wrong, but he's not stupid, never was, he knows that something is up. Maybe he knows better than anyone. He was dead for fourteen years after all. Maybe that gives him some sort of insight, even if he can't remember it. I dunno, maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Leo has started training harder and harder every day. I did mention that I'm worried about him? He's even started to neglect Donnie's training in his effort to do whatever the shell it is he thinks he's doing. He's angry all the time and he ain't doing no one no favors. I have tried to pick up the slack as far as the kid goes, and Mikey sometimes helps, but we're not Leo. Sure, with what he's learning now, any of us can teach Donnie, but Leo is his dad and sensei. He just doesn't perform as well for Mikey or me as he does for Leo. In the dojo, Donnie is a reluctant student on the best of days, and let me tell you, I have seen the worst of that kid lately. Even out of the dojo. He's cranky most of the time and hasn't been behaving himself. Leo has been ignoring him, and he's not taking that very well. Not that I can blame him.

Everyone is upset, and I've seen both Mikey and Leo take their problems out on Donnie when he didn't do anything more than walk into the room. I haven't noticed, but I can't help but wonder if I have done the same thing to him. I hope not. He's a good kid, even if he hasn't really shown it much lately. With all the crap that's been dropped on him by Mikey and Leo, I'd be cranky too.

I can hear Leo in the dojo again. He never quits! I think he's been going out at night too. Casey mentioned busting Purple Dragon skulls with him a few days ago. It just ain't like Leo to run off into a fight like that without Mikey or me. And his time topside really decreased after he and Donnie kind of claimed each other as father and son. This new behavior is just bizarre. I don't know what to do, it's like no one can reach him anymore. He's acting like me, and I gotta say, it's ticking me off.

Though, maybe... just maybe we have a friend who can help.


	11. Chapter 11

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"Greetings, my friends." Usagi said as he entered the lair through the portal.

"Usagi!" Mikey cried out in bright surprise before running toward the rabbit.

"Usagi?" Leo repeated, also surprised at the new presence in the lair. "Did you travel through the Battle Nexus?"

Gen walked through the portal a moment later.

"And Gen." Raph commented flatly. When he had contacted Usagi, asking him to see if he could help Leonardo, he had not expected that the annoying rhinoceros with a gambling problem would come as well.

"No, Leonardo. I have a friend who helped me perform the ritual to come directly to this world."

Usagi had been having a conversation with Leonardo for some time before he looked around the room and noticed that someone was missing. He had heard from Raphael that Splinter-sensei had been lost to them. "Leonardo-san, when we were here for your holiday festivities, did you not have a son?"

"Oh!" Leo had been in the dojo, and realized now that he had not seen Donatello for the past few days. Unfortunately, it could not be helped. If Leo was going to be able to protect the child he needed the extra time to practice. "Yes. He's around here somewhere. Donatello!" Leo looked around the lair and spotted Donnie up on the second level, peeking out at the visitors. "He's kind of shy." Leo explained to their guests. "I'll go get him."

Usagi gave Raphael a small smile after Leo left. In that look, he promised to do what he could to help. Only a short time had passed before the people in the main room heard shouting from upstairs.

"You _will_ come downstairs and say hello to Usagi and Gen!" Leo's angry voice snapped, drawing all eyes to the second floor. The speakers had moved into one of the bedrooms and could not be seen, but they could be heard well enough.

"NO!"

"HAMATO DONATELLO!"

"NO!"

It was then that the real screaming started. Not even an instant later Raphael raced up the fire escape that served as their staircase and physically threw Leo out of Donnie's room, leaving the sobbing child alone.

"Leo," Raph hissed, "What the shell is your problem? If he doesn't want to say hi, there ain't no reason or sense in making him." Raph had noticed that Donnie was nursing his arm when he had burst into the room. He pulled Leo into one of the bedrooms and continued his tirade quietly enough that he hoped Donnie and their guests could not hear it. "If you _EVER _lay a hand on him in anger again, so help me, Leo, I'll make sure you regret that _you_ ever hatched!" Raph was exceptionally careful to keep his voice low.

"Don't you _dare_ tell me how to raise my son." Leo whispered back.

"I will not stand idly by and let you hurt him. He is my family too, and you cannot treat him like that. Get your shell downstairs, Leo. Before I get _really_ angry." Raph was already fuming, in fact, he was just shy of going berserk on his brother. Flames of rage danced in his eyes. "He does not have to go anywhere until he is good and ready. Now _get out!_" For a long moment, the two turtles stared each other down, but Leo eventually gave in. Whether it was because he realized that what he had done was wrong or whether there was some other reason, Raphael did not know. Whatever the reason had been, Leo went back down stairs to where Mikey was trying to keep Gen's and Usagi's attention off the noise from upstairs. Once the blue-masked turtle had gone, Raph went back into Donnie's room.

"Hey, Sport." Raph greeted as he opened the door. He sighed when Donnie failed to respond, just sat there in the corner of his bed with his little shell to the room. Raph crossed the room and sat down next to the tiny turtle. He noted that Donnie was still nursing his left arm. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I fine."

"Ok."

Raph looked down at the small turtle. Donnie had gained some weight shortly after he had been returned to them in this form. It had pleased everyone as it signaled the end of the disease that had plagued him, but Donnie remained slighter than any of the others had ever been, and Raphael had a feeling that he always would be. Raph had been suspicious for the past several weeks, but he was sure now. Before they had lost Splinter in the final battle with the Shredder, Leo had always been very mindful of what Donatello ate. They had learned quickly that if someone was not paying very close attention to his eating habits, that the small turtle would push his food around his plate without really eating any of it. Apparently, Leo had not paid as much attention lately as Donnie had definitely lost several of the precious few pounds he had gained over the last year.

"May I see your arm?" Raph always tried to be mindful of his use of language around the tiny turtle. The Donatello he had known for so long had always been particular about language, and Raph wanted to help instill that same habit in this child.

The turtle on the bed shook his head quickly. He seemed embarrassed by something, and Raphael had a feeling he knew what it was.

"Please? I promise to be very gentle." Raph said as softly as he could.

This time, Donnie reluctantly agreed, and Raph carefully took the boy's small arm. The bruise nearly covered Donnie's entire forearm, and Raphael had to be very careful not to growl in the anger he felt at Leonardo. Whatever Leo was thinking had to change, and it had to change _now_.

"Did your daddy do this?" Raph asked, trying to keep his voice even. He was failing, though he did manage to keep most of his anger in check.

Donnie flinched at Raph's tone and nodded. "It hu'ts." He complained quietly, silent tears forming in his eyes.

Raph saw the flinch and immediately softened. Donatello had done nothing, and in fact was the victim here. There was no sense in scaring him. He pulled the child into a hug and tried to calm him.

"I know it does, Donnie. I'm sorry he hurt you, but Daddy, he- he's kind of messed up right now."

"Daddy hu't me." Donnie whimpered.

Raph realized then that Donnie did not understand. He was just a kid, and all he knew was that the person he saw as a father had hurt him. In that moment, Raph remembered that he had been almost thirteen before he really realized that Splinter could also make mistakes. Leo was Donnie's Splinter, and there was no way that the four-year-old turtle could understand that Leo was not infallible. Yes, Leo always strove for perfection, but only one person in the world truly believed that Leonardo was as perfect as the image he tried so hard to portray. That one person had just been let down in a big way. Raphael sighed and continued to hold Donnie until the small turtle had calmed down completely. Only once Donnie had been quiet for several minutes did Raphael speak again.

"You know, Usagi is very nice. I think you might like him. Do you remember when he and Gen were here for Christmas?"

Donnie nodded.

"Are you ready to come downstairs and say hello to them?"

After a long pause during which he seemed to be thinking, Donnie nodded again. Raphael smiled and Took Donnie's good hand and started to lead him downstairs. At the last possible moment, Raph paused and pulled a sweatshirt out of Donnie's drawer. The sleeves of the bright purple top – which was a replacement for the one that had once belonged to April before Donnie had somehow claimed it – were way too long, but Donnie liked to play with them and therefore was more likely to leave it on. Raph figured that the shirt was the best one at the moment. It would hide the large bruise Leo had put on the child no matter how high Donnie tried to pull up the sleeves. Once Donnie was wrapped up in his shirt, they walked downstairs.

Raphael was not the only one who noticed that Donnie refused to look at Leonardo. Everyone, with the possible exception of Gen, also noticed.

"Hello, Donatello-chan." Usagi greeted, dropping down to Donnie's level and smiling at the small turtle.

"Donnie, can you say hello to Usagi?" Raphael asked.

"Hello" Donnie squeaked quickly before hiding behind Raph's leg.

"You were right, Leonardo-san." Usagi said, turning to his friend. "He is very shy."

Leo smiled and made a small move toward Donnie, which caused the little turtle to hide more directly behind Raphael. Raph gave Leo a look of warning that Usagi and Michelangelo did not miss.

"How old is he, Leonardo-san?" Usagi asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

"Four." Leo responded quickly.

"I must admit, I did not believe you old enough to have a son of that age."

"It's kind of a long story." Leo responded. "And one that I do not believe Donnie is old enough to hear."

"Hey, it should be getting dark soon." Mikey commented, again trying to break the tension that Usagi's question had only managed to temporarily disperse. "We should really show them the city."

"I go too?" Donnie asked hopefully from behind Raph. He looked up at Leo as he asked. For a moment it looked like Leo was going to say no, but in the end he agreed.

"Ok, but you need to stay very, very close to me the entire time we're out, ok?"

Donnie nodded brightly and launched himself into Leo's arms. Leo nearly failed to catch the small turtle, but latched onto Donatello's forearm at the last possible moment. He only held it briefly, but he noted the tears that sprung up in the boy's eyes and looked at Raphael for confirmation. The look on Raph's face and the events of only a short time ago told Leo that he had hurt Donnie when he had been upstairs earlier.

_What is wrong with me?_ Leo wondered to himself as he hugged the boy who seemed to have completely forgiven him. However, realizing that he had hurt the child, Leo had yet to forgive himself. Everything Leo had been doing since they had lost Splinter had been meant to protect his family, primarily Donnie. Now Leo had harmed his own son, the very person he sought the most to protect.

When they left the lair that evening Donnie held Leo's hand as they made their way through the sewers. As soon as they came to the manhole cover they would use to get to the surface, Donnie moved up to Leo's back where he was to remain anytime they were traveling above ground. He sat right where the sheaths for Leo's swords crossed and wrapped his arms around his daddy's neck.

Upon reaching the rooftops the others seemed quite interested in getting a move on, but Leo noticed that Donnie was shaking.

"You guys go ahead. We'll catch up." Leo promised.

"I shall stay with you, Leonardo-san" Usagi offered.

Leo almost objected to the idea but held his tongue and allowed Usagi to stay. Raph, Mikey and Gen all took off across the roofs of the city.

"Hey, Donnie, you ok?" Leo asked gently as he plucked the turtle off his back. Looking at his son, the first thing he realized was that Donnie was no longer wearing the sweatshirt he had been wrapped in earlier. "What happened to your shirt?" The fact that he had failed to notice the missing shirt unnerved Leo a great deal. He knew better than to let Donnie get cold.

"Took off." Donnie responded though chattering teeth as he shivered in Leo's arms.

"Why?" Leo asked gently, as he began to rub Donnie's upper arms to bring what meager warmth he could to the small boy's body.

"Hot." Donnie explained as he reached out to wrap his arms around Leo. It was then that Leo first spotted the bruise on the child's arm, and he felt incredibly guilty.

Leo groaned. He knew better than this. Errors and major mistakes in his recent behavior were starting to make themselves glaringly obvious. Leo knew he had to pay close attention to Donnie as the tiny turtle was too young to take care of himself. He certainly knew better than to bring Donnie out of the lair without at least a sweatshirt.

Usagi watched the little boy Leonardo was fussing over, he noted the large bruise on Donnie's arm and Leonardo's reaction to it. Recalling the screaming earlier in the evening, he had a feeling he knew when and how Dona-chan had acquired the injury. He also noticed that the little boy seemed amazed and slightly frightened by his surroundings. In fact, it almost looked as if the child had never been here before or it was an extremely rare treat.

"I'm sorry, Usagi," Leo apologized. "but Donnie and I need to go home. At the very least he needs a sweatshirt. If you want, you can try to catch up with the others, they probably haven't gone far."

Usagi noted that the child seemed almost ready to object to going home. "No, Leonardo-san. I will stay with you. I do not wish to get lost in your city, and I am here first and foremost to visit with you."

Leo almost smiled at his friend then picked up his son and made his way down the fire escape with Donnie on his back and Usagi close behind.

* * *

On the walk back to the lair through the sewers, Donnie was returned to the ground. Leonardo was holding the child's hand, but Usagi could tell that his friend's mind was elsewhere. It took a moment for him to notice the pair of eyes that were watching him. He looked down at Donnie and smiled at the small turtle. 

"You fuzzy." Donatello informed the samurai.

Usagi blinked at the statement. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. Granted, he had not spent much time around children, especially ones as young as Donatello. It was not that he disliked them. Quite the contrary, Usagi liked children very much and regretted not being able to raise his own son. He just had not spent much time around ones quite as young as Donnie. Leo did not seem to notice the comment, and that confirmed Usagi's impression that the elder turtle's mind was not in the present.

"Maste' Splinte' fuzzy too, but he go 'way." Donatello added as he traipsed along after Leonardo.

Usagi wondered how Leonardo would respond to the child's comment, and when no response whatsoever came, Usagi wondered what would have to occur before Leonardo would react. Still watching the child who had suddenly decided to chat, Usagi saw that Donatello could tell that his father was out of it as surely as Usagi could.

"Daddy diff'ent."

"Your daddy misses Splinter-sensei." Usagi told the child.

"Know," Donnie replied sadly. He paused for a moment during which he looked up at Leonardo before speaking again. "but miss Daddy."

"I know you miss him, Dona-chan. We'll try to bring him back to you, ok?"

Donnie nodded and held up his other hand, which Usagi accepted. After a moment, Usagi watched as the little boy yanked his hand from his father's grasp. Usagi might have wondered what it would take to get Leonardo's attention, but Donatello had apparently known just how to get it the whole time.

Leonardo whipped around, snapping from his dark thoughts into the present as the small hand he had been holding was ripped away. He panicked for a brief moment before finding that Donnie was happily trailing along next to Usagi.

"I apologize, Leonardo-san." Usagi said to his friend. "I did not realize that taking the hand he offered would cause him to let go of you."

"Oh, no, Usagi." Leo said quickly, upon realizing what had happened. "It's ok. He knows that he needs to hold someone's hand whenever he's in the sewers, there is no rule that it has to be mine." Leo looked down at his son who smiled innocently up at him and latched onto Usagi with his both hands as if to prove that he had been holding someone's hand the whole time. "I just wasn't expecting him to let go."

They were mere feet from the lair and Leo opened the door. Glancing around the main room he quickly found Donnie's sweatshirt and bundled the child up.

"Perhaps we should get you some pants and socks too?" Leo suggested.

Donnie made a face at the suggestion and Leo half-smiled. It was no big secret in the lair that Donatello despised being forced to wear clothes. Leo, Raph and Mikey almost never had anything on more than their pads, masks and belts, and Donnie wanted to be like them. The little turtle, however, had a soft spot for the bright purple, very fuzzy sweatshirt he now wore.

"Pants and socks, or we stay right here and you don't get to go topside again tonight." Leo warned.

"o-tay." Donnie replied sadly, and Leo went upstairs to find the articles of clothing. When he'd finished dressing the child, he pulled up the hood on Donnie's sweatshirt just for good measure.

"Hot."

"You won't be when we get topside." Leo reminded his son, who responded with a little grumble, but left on the clothing Leo had dressed him in. "We're going to have to move quickly, to catch up with the others." Leo told Donnie. "So you're going to ride through the sewers too, ok?"

When Donnie held out his arms to be picked up, Leo obliged him and froze where he stood.

"Shell." Leo muttered to himself as he realized that he had failed his son yet again. He added knowing to pay close attention to what Donnie ate to the list of things he had neglected lately. Donnie was beginning to fuss against the strange dangling position Leo was holding him in. The older turtle took a hint and lifted the child over his shoulders and got him situated.

"What is the matter, Leonardo-san?" Usagi asked, recognizing the mild oath.

"I- no, it's nothing." Without another word, the turtle and rabbit began a race through the sewers. As soon as they got topside, Leo pulled out his ShellCell and called Raph, who had actually kept the devices working with April's assistance since Donnie had been given his second shot at life, to find out where they had gone. Another five minutes and they had joined the others on a particularly high rooftop with a beautiful view. Mikey was explaining various monuments to Gen, and Usagi moved in to hear the tour as well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **This chapter in particular, along with a handful of other chapters, will borrow events from the 2003 cartoon series. The borrowed events belong to the series and are the genius work of the show's creators. The different circumstances in this story necessitate the retelling of certain events with a slight twist. As always, I don't own the ninja turtles or associated characters. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm.

* * *

** Chapter 12**

Michelangelo was happier than Raphael had seen him since Splinter's death. For whatever reason, Raph felt that he had dealt with the loss of their sensei and father better than his brothers had. Perhaps because Raph was the only one who did not believe that the loss of their sensei was somehow his fault. Shredder had been preparing to electrocute Michelangelo when Master Splinter had knocked the orange-masked turtle out of the way and taken the shock himself. He had later died as a result of the injury.

Yes, Mikey was happier, but Leo still seemed a little out of it.

"Down?" Donnie asked for the fifth time since they had paused on the rooftop for Mikey to talk. Again, Leo either ignored or had not heard the request. "Daddy! Down!" Donnie tried a little louder before squirming and kicking Leo's chest with his heels. When that too failed he turned his pleading gaze to Raph. "Down?"

Raph laughed and nodded. "Yeah, you can get down." He tapped Leo on the arm, startling his brother out of his thoughts. "We're going to be here for a while. You might want to let Donnie run a little."

"Oh, right." He carefully lifted Donnie off his back and put him on the ground. A pigeon landed nearby.

Raph watched with a grin as Donnie stared at the pigeon then moved closer to investigate it.

"Don't touch." Raph cautioned, and Donnie looked at him briefly before turning back to the pigeon.

"P'etty neck."

"Yes, it has a pretty neck." Raphael agreed as he knelt next to Donnie. The pigeon flew away as Mikey pulled a bunch of hot dogs up from some poor, confused street vendor.

"Aw, go 'way." Donnie lamented.

"Yup, the pigeon went away."

Mikey handed Raphael a hot dog with all sorts of condiments on it. It was just the kind of dog that Raph liked, but he was just about to ask for a different one when Leo snapped out of his daze and beat him to it.

"Mikey, you get one without any condiments on it?"

"I have one plain one." Mikey responded as he looked at the dogs. "but I thought you liked ketchup?"

"It's not for me." Leo responded as he took the plain hot dog from Mikey.

"Right." Mikey watched as Leo walked over to where Donnie and Raph had been watching the pigeon and picked up the small turtle again.

"NOOOO! DOWN!" Donnie protested, squirming to be returned to the ground.

"Donnie, Shush!" Leo scolded as he returned the child to the rooftop and knelt beside him. "You know better than to shout like that when we are outside the lair." When Donatello just glared at him, Leo had a hunch that the child was getting tired. A hunch that was confirmed a moment later when Donnie yawned.

Leo was not terribly keen on giving Donnie just a hot dog for dinner, but he was pretty sure that his son had managed to escape the dinner table without eating anything earlier.

"Here, try this." Leo offered gently. He watched as Donnie sniffed at the hot dog for a moment before making a face and turning away. "Come on, you'll like it." Leo tried to prove the point by taking a bite of the plain dog, but still Donnie chose to be obstinate. It was all Leo could do to stifle a growl at the child.

"Leonardo-san, may I try?" Usagi offered. When Leo handed over the hot dog, Usagi knelt next to the young turtle. "Do you know that you are worrying your father?" Usagi asked gently.

Donnie looked up at the rabbit in confusion.

"He just wants to make sure you eat something so you can grow up to be big and strong like him and your uncles."

"No like." Donnie admitted, pushing the hot dog away.

"Have you ever had one?" Usagi asked. When Donnie shook his head, the samurai continued. "Hmm... so how do you know whether you like it or not?"

Donnie tentatively took the hot dog. He looked at it warily for a moment then up at Usagi who nodded. Finally, he looked up at Leo who actually smiled reassuringly. Only after all that did Donnie take a bite of the hot dog. He screwed up his face at it but swallowed the bite before handing the food back to Usagi.

"ick."

Usagi tried to hide his laughter. Gen may have enjoyed the hot dog, but Usagi had to admit to sharing Donatello's sentiment. The rabbit patted the small turtle on the shoulder. "At least now you know what it really tastes like." He smiled warmly before standing. Donnie wandered over to Michelangelo who was explaining something else to Gen.

"Thank you." Leo said as soon as Donnie had left. "That bite was better than nothing."

"I take it you have some trouble getting him to eat, Leonardo-san?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. I have to watch him like a hawk. It's something I have been remiss in lately." Leo sighed. "He's lost a lot of weight. And letting him out of the lair without a sweatshirt... I can't believe I did that."

"You are upset over losing your sensei. It is understandable that you might not be completely present at all times."

"The trouble is, that I can't afford not to be completely present." Leo looked at Donnie who was currently in Mikey's arms with his head lying on his uncle's shoulder. "I've already lost him as a brother. I can't lose him as a son too."

Usagi was sure he had misheard Leonardo's statement. It simply made no sense. "Excuse me, Leonardo-san, but what do you mean?"

"It's a long story." Leo replied, skirting around the question. "Suffice to say, that I can't imagine anything worse than losing Donnie." He watched as Mikey pointed something out to Gen. Donnie was still resting his head on Mikey's shoulder rather than looking at whatever Mikey was pointing out, and Leo was pretty sure his son was asleep. Mikey walked over a short time later and confirmed Leo's suspicions.

Mikey had heard the screaming earlier in the lair and was pretty sure that Leo had hurt the poor kid at that time. This gave him pause before deciding to hand Donnie to Leo, but he still felt it best that Donnie was with his dad. Mikey knew that Leo had been ignoring the tiny turtle lately. If they could get Leo to pay attention to Donnie, even if the child was asleep, then Mikey figured that was the best for everyone involved. Especially since Leo seemed genuinely sorry for what he'd done earlier. Had Leo just shrugged off the incident, Mikey couldn't say for sure that he would have handed the sleeping child over. As it was, if Leo knew that what he had done was wrong then maybe it would get him to wake up and stop being such a jerk. Though Mikey knew that he himself had not been the best of company or uncles lately, he was pretty sure he was not behaving as poorly as Leo regarding Donnie and everyone else in the lair.

"I think Little Dude has had just about as much excitement as he can take tonight." Mikey said quietly as he handed Donnie over to Leo.

"Probably." Leo agreed as he accepted the sleeping child.

"This was excitement?" Gen huffed. He had enjoyed the evening, though he was not about to admit that. All the same, the evening had been pleasant, not exciting.

"He's never been up here before, at least not that he remembers." Leo shrugged, "So yes, this was excitement."

"Right." Gen laughed derisively. "Some excitement."

Leo ignored the remark and headed toward the edge of the roof, carrying his sleeping son. "I'm going to take him home. You guys can do what you want."

"I think the tour's pretty much over." Mikey shrugged. "We've been out here a while, and it is kind of chilly."

Leo cringed as Mikey's comment reminded him of his earlier stupidity. He was getting sloppy, and that could not be tolerated. When they arrived back at the lair, Leo tucked his small son into bed.

"Daddy?" Donnie muttered, barely awake. "My a'm hurt."

Leo felt like he had been slapped in the face. "I'm sorry, Donnie. I'll go get you some ice for your arm, ok? I'll be right back."

"'tay"

By the time Leo returned, Donnie had fallen asleep again. All the same, Leo held the ice pack to the large bruise for a while before leaving the room. It had been a long time since he had just watched his small son sleep... or do anything else for that matter. When the ice pack had warmed, the elder turtle sighed and stood up to return the ice pack to the freezer. By the time Leo exited the small turtle's room, everyone else had either gone to bed or gone out again, he did not know which, nor did he particularly care. The quiet moments in the lair were used to perform a couple of katas. He danced through the familiar motions joining power, grace and strength and working to perfect his art. After the two katas, he sighed. He needed to sleep. A few hours would do him good. He sighed and went to bed, pausing as he heard a quiet cough from Donnie's room.

"No," Leonardo whispered, "please not now."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **This chapter in particular, along with a handful of other chapters, will borrow events from the 2003 cartoon series. The borrowed events belong to the series and are the genius work of the show's creators. The different circumstances in this story necessitate the retelling of certain events with a slight twist. As always, I don't own the ninja turtles or associated characters. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Leonardo was up early the next morning. He was always the first one up, and he used the time to work through a couple of katas in peace. This was the only time of day that neither of his brothers would give him strange looks while he worked. Additionally, his son was not awake to interrupt his training with endlessly repeated requests to read or play.

"The greatest sword in all the lands is useless in untrained hands."

Apparently, he was not quite as alone as he thought. Leo whipped around and found Usagi sitting against a pillar.

"But what of over-trained hands."

"Usagi? I didn't think anyone would be up this early." Leo commented, even as part of him insisted that there was no such thing as 'over-trained'.

"Hmm..."

"You up for some sparring?" Leo asked with a slash of his sword. Katas were good, but there was nothing like a sparring session against a worthy opponent to get one's blood going and increase one's skills.

Usagi nodded, stood and drew his daito without a word. Moments later the sparring session commenced.

"I couldn't save him. I wasn't good enough!" Leo ground out as the pair battled, swords clashing with the harsh ching of metal on metal.

"I understand, Leonardo." Usagi caught the blade that had been headed straight for him. "My own master died in my arms." He cornered Leonardo. Leo could probably have gotten out of it if he had really wanted to, but the turtle was shocked by Usagi's revelation. "We were ambushed. I, too, failed to protect my master." He pulled his sword away from Leonardo's person and sheathed it. "Everyone fails, Leonardo-san. The true test of one's character is not in preventing failure, but in how we respond to it. You have so much to live for. You cannot dwell in the past, my friend." Usagi paused. "There is so much in your life to be thankful for, so much to live for, rather than killing yourself and your family with these dark thoughts. You have friends, brothers and a son who love you. And Donatello-chan told me yesterday that he-"

"Guys!" Mikey called out from the second floor. "Gen's gone!"

"Shell." Leo muttered. "We have to go find him." Leo pulled his shell cell from his belt and called April.

* * *

"Leo?" April asked in disbelief when she realized who was calling. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" 

"I'm sorry, April, but Gen went out. We have to go find him, but-"

April sighed. "You can't leave Donnie there alone."

"Yeah." Leo admitted sadly. "I'm sorry, April."

"I'll be there in five minutes." April tried to stifle a yawn and failed.

"Thank you. He should sleep for a while longer, but if he wakes up before we get back would you make sure he eats something?"

"I take it he's giving you trouble again."

"Yeah. Thank you, April.."

"Anytime, I'll see you later."

By the time April reached the lair, Usagi and the older turtles had left. She checked Donnie's room and found the child sleeping soundly.

* * *

"Once we find him, how are we going to get him back without showing ourselves? Is he stupid, just wandering the city in broad daylight?" Mikey asked as they looked down from the rooftop. 

"Genosuke may be a lot of things, but I assure you, he is not stupid, and he can take care of himself" Usagi commented to his friends.

"I'm sure he can... in most places, but he went out in broad daylight! We're not exactly the norm in this world." Leo explained with a slight growl in his voice. "People don't understand us, and they fear what they don't understand."

"That's why we gave you the grand tour at night, so people wouldn't see us." Mikey added.

Leo had been formulating a plan while the conversation had been going on. "Mikey, call Casey, we're going to need him on this one."

"Me? Why me?"

"I'll call 'im." Raph muttered as he pulled out his shell cell and dialed Casey.

"How do you track anything with all this stone?" Usagi inquired.

"Well, we're looking for a giant, humanoid rhinoceros in a city full of humans." Mikey reminded Usagi. "We'll just follow the screams." Moments later, screams erupted from several blocks over. "See? Right on cue." The group immediately took off toward the sound. "But If there weren't any screams we can always fall back on Don's turtle trackers."

"Turtle Tracker?" Usagi asked, not recognizing the phrase.

"Yeah, Don made these little things that give off a signal you can follow if you have the right equipment and can get them on whoever you want to follow."

Usagi blinked. "This Don would be Donatello?"

"Yeah, well, no... uh... kinda..." Mikey answered awkwardly. "It's a long story."

"Which we don't have time for now." Leo inserted, hoping to bring an end to the conversation.

"Heh, obviously Donnie didn't make them. He's just a baby." Mikey added despite Leo's hinting that they should shut up.

"Obviously." Usagi repeated, though none of this was 'obvious' to him. Hopelessly confusing was probably a more fitting adjective. It seemed to be more complicated than the child simply being named after a lost brother. Especially since everyone was refusing to share this story.

The turtles and Usagi could only watch as Genosuke exited a shop with new clothes on. New clothes that were strangely familiar.

"Dude, he looks like someone." Mikey commented quietly.

"Yeah, but who is it?" Raph added.

"No idea." Mikey responded quietly.

"Guys, hush!" Leo shushed his brothers. They were right though, the outfit did remind him of someone.

Gen had a bit of a run in with the police, and at that point and Raph and Mikey jumped down into an alley to create a distraction... by screaming for help. Raph commented on Mikey's screams, hoping to get a reaction out of his brother as he threw a trash can lid at a wall to made a loud crash then followed a chuckling Mikey up the fire escape. It was probably the first time he'd seen or heard his brother laugh since that final battle with the Shredder.

Leo and Usagi were relieved to see Casey rush in at that point and pull Gen away from the scene. Though, if he'd heard the confrontation right, Casey's explanation of Gen's appearance had been nothing if not pathetic. If Casey did what he was supposed to do, they should be arriving at the lair any minute now. Leo turned around and found himself face to face with a giant warthog. A warthog who happened to be famous, or perhaps infamous would be a more accurate term, as the greatest assassin and weapons master in the land.

"In your world," Leo amended after Usagi had revealed this tidbit of information. "but we are not in your world." He leapt for the assassin and the battle began. A small grenade type weapon damaged a section of the roof where Mikey and Raph were still climbing the ladder from the alley, they fell from the weakened section and landed amid the debris a couple stories below.

Leo shouted his brothers names as he stepped up his game another notch. Together with Usagi they drove the assassin back... until Leo took some sort of powder to the face.

Temporarily blinded by the powder, Leo shouted, informing Usagi of the situation. The assassin nearly removed Leonardo's head before Usagi rejoined the fray and drew the warthog, Kojima, away from the ninja. A brief flash of understanding sliced through Leo's mind like a knife. If he died here, who had he helped? What was this fight for? Getting involved had put his family at risk, not protected them. However, this time he had not been given much of a choice in the matter.

"You have been a worthy opponent, Usagi Yojimbo," the assassin complimented the rabbit. "but now you, and all your little kame friends, will die."

Now that Leo was here, however the fight had started, he had a job to do. Kojima's words viciously tore through the brief moment. Leonardo shouted as his vision cleared from the powder and clouded in rage. The assassin never stood a chance against the fury released against him. The last thing Kojima heard before blackness claimed him was the order of an enraged turtle.

* * *

April was sitting on the couch reading when Donatello came downstairs. "Ap'il?" He asked in surprise. "Whe'e's Daddy?" 

"Hey Sweetie." April greeted the child who had just come down the stairs. She knew that it was a bit later than he usually slept, but Donnie still looked tired. "Gen went out this morning and everyone had to go find him. They should be back soon." April informed the small turtle as she gave him a good morning hug.

"Oh." Donnie responded without returning April's hug as he normally would.

It was impossible to miss the disappointment in Donnie's voice and demeanor. She guessed that he was used to Leo being around when he got up, but wondered if it was more than that. When the small turtle rubbed his arm it drew April's eyes to the giant bruise there.

"Oh, sweetie, what happened?" She gently took his arm though Donnie tried to pull it away.

"I was bad." Donnie replied as he wrenched his arm out of April's grasp and went to the box in the corner that contained his toys.

April made a note to talk to Leo about the bruise, but let it drop as far as Donnie was concerned.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked. It was unsurprising that the child failed to respond. As far as she knew, he rarely responded to that sort of question. April could not think of any other child she had ever met who despised eating as much as Donnie did. "Come on, Donnie, you have to eat something. I promised your dad that I'd get you to eat."

"Not hung'y" Donatello insisted as he pushed a small car across the floor.

"How about some Cheerios?" April suggested. "Toast? Eggs? Bacon? Pancakes?" She let her ideas get a little wilder. "Macaroni and cheese? Pizza? Green eggs and ham? Cherries and taco sauce?" Nothing she listed garnered any sort of response from the child. He just picked up another car and rolled it across the floor after the first one. "Donnie, please."

"NO!" Donatello screamed as he picked up yet another car and threw it as hard as he could across the room after its compatriots that had garnered the privilege of being rolled rather than thrown.

The outburst surprised April. "Hamato Donatello!" She had never heard the small turtle raise his voice like that before, and she had certainly never seen him throw anything. When the child burst into tears, April hurried to his side and hugged him.

"It's ok, Donnie. If you really don't want to eat, I won't make you. Please, please don't cry."

Donatello was still sobbing when Casey and Gen returned.

"Hey," April greeted as she continued to hold the distraught child. "Where's Leo?"

"They should be right behind us." Casey replied.

But Leo was not right behind them. A half hour passed, then an hour. April and Casey were beginning to get worried. They tried to hide their concern, but Donnie had picked up on it and the slightest thing would set him off. April found that it was easiest just to leave him in the corner with his toys. She did occasionally roll cars back to the morose, little turtle.

Almost two hours after Casey and Gen had returned, Usagi and the turtles came in the door, and they had company: a large, unconscious warthog.

"Get it out of here, now." Leo ordered.

Gen, realizing who the beast was – and more importantly, the price on his head – immediately obliged. Usagi remained behind for a brief time.

"Leonardo, I beg you. Do not let the past consume you. The future holds so much. Please, move on, Leonardo: for you, for your friends and family, for your son. He needs you, Leonardo-san. As much as you miss your sensei and father he misses you. The difference is that you are still here. Do not dwell on that which you cannot change."

"Thank you, Usagi, but I will decide what I can and cannot change as well as what is best for my son." He practically spat as he turned his back, but Usagi kept speaking.

"Please, Leonardo-san, meditate on what I have said. There is more to life than our art. Spend time reading or watching your 'television'," Usagi nearly tripped over the strange word, "Spend time with your brothers and with your son. If you do not use the time you have with them then it will be your one greatest regret."

Leo closed his eyes but did not turn around. He silently begged Usagi to just go away for now. He heard his friend leave and the portal close. The silent look that passed between Raphael and Usagi in which Raph thanked Usagi for trying went unnoticed by the blue-masked turtle.


	14. Chapter 14

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**  
**

**Chapter 14**

As soon as Usagi and Gen had left, Leo stalked into the dojo. April glanced at Donnie, and the look on his face broke her heart. It was not an expression that belonged on any child. She immediately ran after Leo. When he had finished his first kata, she cleared her throat.

"April." Leo greeted flatly, doing little more than acknowledging her interruption of his training.

"Whatever your problem is, Leo, you need to get over it." April stated. "I know you miss Master Splinter, and I know you think that what happened is somehow your fault, but you need to move on. Usagi was right. You can't change what's already happened."

"But I can change the future." Leo growled.

"And right now, you're changing it for the worse." April said with a glare. "Donatello shouted at me this morning. He's tired, cranky, probably getting sick and he needs his dad back. When you came in this morning, Leo, you didn't even look at him!"

"How can I," Leo asked quietly. "After what I did to him?"

"I assume you are talking about the bruise on his arm. When I asked him about it, he told me that he had been bad."

"No." Leo disagreed with a slow shake of his head. "He was frightened. You know how shy he is."

April nodded but said nothing.

"I wanted him to come down and say hi to Usagi and Gen. He was scared. I got angry and lost my temper." Leo looked down and dropped the tips of his swords to the floor. "It was my fault, not his. Just like it's my fault he hasn't eaten lately. Just like it's my fault he got cold when we left the lair last night. Just like it's my fault he has to live in fear of those who would kill us if given half a chance!" Each sentence upset Leo more, making him angrier and more frustrated with himself.

"Leo," April said quietly as she wrapped an arm around the turtle's shoulders. "Even if all of those things and worse were your fault, which they're not, Donnie worships the ground you walk on. He can't see your faults. He doesn't know how yet. Enjoy it while it lasts, because as soon as he reaches his teens that's all going to change. Everyone makes mistakes. All we can do is learn from them and do our level best not to repeat them. For example, I couldn't get him to eat this morning. He got angry and threw a car. You're eighteen, Leo. If you were human, in this country you would just barely be considered an adult. You have a lot of mistakes left to make."

The blue-masked turtle looked up at April in surprise. "Donnie threw a car?"

"He's screaming for your attention, Leo. He tried being good and that didn't work so he's trying other tactics. Go play with him, read to him, give him a ninjitsu lesson so he can fend for himself someday. Go spend the rest of the day with him. After that, if you still feel it necessary, you can continue your pointless self-flagellation tomorrow, but make today Donnie's day. He's going to grow up more quickly than you will believe. You blink and you'll miss it. Don't wake up tomorrow and realize that your baby has become a man, Leo. You don't want that."

Leo turned his gaze to the floor, he was about to just re-sheathe his swords and thought better of it. He did return the weapons to their sheathes, but he did not stop there. He removed the harness from his person and placed it gently in the weapons cabinet before locking it shut.

After a long moment, Leonardo raised his gaze to April's face.

"I'm eighteen, April. I'm eighteen years old. Most kids my age are still in school, their biggest worry is what they're going to do next year." Leo sighed and paused for a long moment before continuing. "I... I have a family to take care of. Brothers who look up to me, a son — it's still so weird to think of him like that. — who needs me and enemies so vicious that the toughest gang member would cower in fear. And I'm alone."

"You ain't alone, Leo." Raphael said from the doorway. "Far from it. We're all here for you: me, Mikey, April, Casey and Donnie. You just won't let us help."

Leo turned his gaze toward the floor and nodded mutely. He knew that what Usagi, April and even Raph of all people were telling him was correct. While he did not want to admit it, they were right, and he needed to do something to rectify his behavior.

"April's right. Spend today with Donnie. Step up for him, Leo. You still remember how to step up don't you? The way you've been acting is killing him. He don't care if you're perfect or not. He just needs his dad back. Just one day. 'Cuz seriously, bro, I need a break from that kid of yours."

Stealing a glance at the clock, Leo realized that it was still early. Even through he had been out all night and this morning, he still felt a need to get out of the lair. As he walked toward the main room he realized that what he needed was not a trip out of the lair, it was a trip out of the city. He grabbed the keys to the Battle Shell off the end table and tucked them into his belt as he moved to Donnie's corner of the room.

"Hey Donnie." Leo said lightly. "I believe I owe you an apology." Leo smiled slightly when the small turtle looked up in surprise.

"Yes, I messed up." Leo told him. "I hurt you yesterday, and it was completely uncalled for. I have ignored you for too long as well. I messed up, Donnie, and I know I don't deserve it, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Donatello just blinked at his daddy's apology, and Leo had trouble deciding whether the child did not understand or was just too surprised by the statement to respond. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

"I want to make it up to you, Donnie. I know it's not enough, but I was wondering if you'd like to go on a trip to the farmhouse. Three days, just you and me. We can play ball in the sunshine and take a walk in the woods. Maybe have a picnic, what do you say?"

Donnie just stared, completely baffled.

"Come on, baby, please say _something._" Leo begged.

"Can I have mask like you?"

It was Leo's turn to be confused. The question just seemed so random in his mind, but he answered it. "Well, not just like mine. Blue doesn't suit you, and you haven't earned this type of mask yet, but when your uncles and I were kids we had different bandannas that we wore. I think you might just be old enough for one of those."

Donnie beamed and threw himself into Leo's arms. "Weally? And we weally going to go? You and me? Th'ee days? What's picnic?"

Leo laughed at Donnie's sudden excitement. "Yes, we can go. Just the two of us for three days. And I think the best way for you to learn about a picnic is to experience one. We can leave right after breakfast."

The tiny turtle's face dropped at the mention of breakfast.

"Donnie, I'm worried about you. I don't want you getting sick again. You have to eat something. You still like corn flakes, don't you? Apple juice on the side?"

The smile Leo got this time was subdued, but still there.

"Good. Then that's what we'll have." Leo picked up the small child and carried him to the kitchen.

"Corn flakes and apple juice?" April asked, looking at Raph for confirmation. "I never would have thought of that one."

"Yeah, I know it sounds weird," Raph responded. "but you really outta try it sometime. He gotten all of us hooked on it since he came back."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: _A note on names._** In this story, from the time that Donatello returns to the living realm as a living being, I refer to the two Donatellos – Leo's brother and Leo's son – differently. This distinction becomes important in this and coming chapters. The name 'Don' _always_ refers to the Donatello who was Splinter's son and Leo, Raph and Mikey's brother. While Leo's son is referred to as 'Donnie'. 'Donatello' can apply to either of them, but I try to make it clear in context as to which one is being spoken about. If 'Donatello' is not obviously referring to Don then the reference is to Donnie. This allows me to distinguish between the two, hopefully without confusing the reader. If you look back, Don's first childhood and his time as a Spirit will see him referred to by both nicknames. The distinction between Don and Donnie _only_ applies _after_ Donatello returns.

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Leonardo watched Donatello chase a butterfly. It was something he had never had the opportunity to do as a child, but he was happy to be able to give his son the experience. He also realized that he was happy to be watching the experience and taking part in his son's life again. Donnie never actually caught any of the butterflies he chased, but that was not the point. Leo actually laughed as the tiny turtle jumped and missed again. He caught his ninja eye coming into play and the little voice that accompanied it whispered in the back of his mind that he would have a lot of work ahead of him if he was ever going to make a ninja out of Donnie. Leo recalled the fighting style Don had used as a spirit. It had been extremely frustrating to the three living turtles as Don would simply cease to exist in a form that could be hit when he was not trying to land a blow of his own.

Donnie no longer had that advantage. Master Splinter had made comments about Donnie's trouble with coordination before, and Leo was getting a front row seat to a performance of what Master Splinter had been talking about. Donnie jumped at another butterfly, missed and landed on his face. A moment later the small turtle coughed quietly then just stood right back up and tried again. Determination and planning would be his allies. Being able to think on his feet would assist him. Leo watched the child jump again. Donnie was tiny, and chances were that he always would be. Leo would have to work on precision and finesse with him, since being a power fighter like Raph or a speed fighter like Mikey would be unrealistic for Donnie unless something changed drastically. He only contemplated that for another moment before pushing it out of his mind completely for the rest of the day.

* * *

It was about 11:30 at night and Leo was still thinking about the sunset he had watched with Donnie from the porch swing earlier that evening and the conversation that had accompanied it when he heard a small knock on the door. He called out for Donnie to go ahead and come in. A moment later the little turtle pushed open the door. When Leo looked up, he could see tears in the child's eyes. 

"Hey, what's wrong, baby? Did you have a bad dream?" Leo asked as he lifted Donnie from the floor and wrapped his arms around him.

The young turtle nodded then buried his face in Leo's shoulder.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" After Leo made the offer, Donnie's head moved, but Leo was not sure whether the small turtle had given him an affirmative or negative answer.

"Dark." Donnie began through his subsiding tears and a couple of small coughs. "'nother tu'tle the'we, but not like us. She talk funny."

Leo listened to the rest of the story as Donnie recounted the dream. This child had been surprised by a light in front of him then frightened by one behind him. He ran and suddenly found himself in a field with nowhere to hide from all the people around. When he got up the nerve to say 'hi' to one of them, there was screaming and running and panic. After that he was alone. Even as Donnie told the story, Leo found it all too familiar. It sounded more like a memory to Leo than it did a dream.

"Don't take him away from me again." Leo whispered almost silently. "Please don't take him away again." He rocked Donnie gently for a moment before speaking a little louder. "It's over now, Donnie. You're ok. You're not alone anymore, and you never will be again." Leo remained silent for several minutes before making a suggestion to the still sniffling child.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?"

Donatello nodded, and Leo slid back down into the bed. He laid on his side and let Donnie sidle up against him before wrapping one arm around the small child. Listening carefully, Leo soon heard Donnie's breathing change to the steady rhythm of sleep. The last thought that crossed Leo's mind that night wondered if he would get any sleep at all with his son here.

* * *

"Hey Leo." 

Leonardo looked up at the familiar voice, but saw no one, at least not anyone awake. Glancing around his surroundings as he woke up a bit, he found Donnie still nestled comfortably in his arms and sound asleep.

"I'm right here, Leo."

Again, Leo looked toward the voice. This time he found the speaker. It was Donatello, the one he had known as a brother for so long. Don even held the form of the seventeen-year-old turtle that he had adopted near the end of that stage of his existence.

"I can't stay long, Leo. I just thought you should know. Splinter is here where I am... or rather used to be."

Leo tensed up at the statement, remembering how miserable Don had always been there.

"No, Leo. It's different for him. He's happy here. For him, this place is what it is supposed to be. He has Master Yoshi and Tang Shen here for him. He checks in on you- I mean, us from time to time. That is how it is meant to be. He's happy here, and he'll be here with open arms when our times come. And there was nothing you could have done in that fight against the Shredder to change the outcome anymore than there was something I or anyone else could have done. You did your best, Leo and everyone here – including Master Splinter and Master Yoshi – is proud of you."

Leo watched in mild astonishment as Don looked off to the side momentarily and laughed.

"They're telling me that they had better not see any of us here anytime soon."

"Don?" Leo asked, disbelievingly. "Don, I-"

"You don't need to say anything. I know, and they know. I don't have much time, Leo, but I need to tell you something."

Leo nodded at his brother.

"I just wanted you to know that the Donatello who was Master Splinter's son... he's gone."

Every fiber of Leo's being wanted to react to the statement, scream, cry, anything, but Don kept talking, effectively preventing any outburst.

"That is how it has to be. Master Splinter's son is gone, he has to be in order to make way for Leonardo's son. And I want you to know... I trust you, bro. I know that you'll occasionally fall off the tracks, but I also know that you'll be able to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off. You were always there for me, Leo. Always. And I know that you'll always be there for him... er, me in the future. I know it's a lot, but I trust you, and I believe in you." Don glanced over his shoulder briefly then continued. "And Masters Splinter and Yoshi believe in you too."

Leo smiled at his brother's words, and Don smiled reassuringly for a moment then looked off over his shoulder again and nodded at someone that Leo could not see.

"I have to go now, Leo." Don looked at the child enveloped in Leonardo's arms. "But before I do, that kid is going to beg for a blue mask just like yours." The spirit on the bed chuckled quietly. "Don't give it to him. In the long run, he'll never be happy in blue." Don winked at his brother.

"I know. There was only ever one color for Donatello. No matter whose son he is."

Again, Don looked over his shoulder almost as though he hadn't heard the comment then turned back to Leo and smiled. "Alright. My time is up."

Leo watched as Don started to fade out.

"I love you, Leo. And I love Mikey and Raph too. Let them know for me? Take Care, Leo."

* * *

Leonardo's eyes snapped open and he found himself fighting back tears. There was no possible way that what he had experienced had been just a dream, it was too vivid, too real. There was also no way he was going to deny his brother's last request. Leo's fight against his emotions did not go unnoticed. 

"Daddy?" Donnie asked, twisting around so he could see Leo's face. "What w'ong?"

"Nothing." Leo grinned down at _his_ son, _his_ baby. "I just miss someone is all." He replied before kissing Donnie on the top of the head. Leo then looked over at the clock and was surprised that it read 7:00AM. "Looks like it's past time to get up, doesn't it?"

Donnie nodded, but instead of getting up, snuggled against Leonardo's chest. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, baby." Leo hugged the tiny turtle then gave him a gentle open handed smack to the carapace. "Come on, up! I believe I owe you a bandanna."

Donnie squealed and hopped out of bed in his excitement.

"You go pick something for breakfast." Leo knew Donnie would never try to get anything other than cereal and juice. "I'm going out to the Battle Shell really quickly, and I'll meet you in the kitchen, ok?"

"'tay!"

Leo laughed at the young turtle's excitement then rolled over and grabbed the keys from the nightstand. He got up and went out to the truck. In the back end was a box that, until Leo had disturbed it the previous morning, had sat in Master Splinter's room for over a decade. Leo and his brothers had received their first bandannas on their fifth birthday. Don had received one too, despite his status as a spirit which prevented him from actually wearing it. Instead, it sat in an ornate box and Don had incorporated the colored mask into his form. Leo opened the box. Inside was the bandanna that Don would have worn had he not gotten sick that last time. Since picking up this box Leo had debated whether or not it was such a good idea to give Donnie the same purple that Don had claimed as his own. It matched the blanket that had followed his brother's spirit around.

"The spirit is the same." Leo reminded himself. "Don's not coming back." The slight tang of cedar drifted up, and Leo knew that the bandanna would share the scent for a while if he were to choose it. That would be the most difficult thing over the next few weeks, and Leo put the bandanna back in the box, unsure of whether or not he could stand the memories that accompanied the smell. He had another bandanna as well, a darker, cooler shade that rested in a second small box. "But Donnie is not Don." He added to the previous statement. Lifting the second box, Leo glanced from one to the other, and in a moment of decisiveness he made up his mind. Leaving one box in the Battle Shell, Leo took the other inside.


	16. Chapter 16

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Leo continued to debate his decision as he entered the house. Though, his mind was drawn to other matters the instant he stepped into the kitchen as Donnie was crouched on the floor hurriedly trying to put coffee beans back in a sack.

Along with wondering why Donnie was cleaning up coffee beans, several other questions flitted through his mind along the lines of... How did the beans get on the floor? Where had they come from? What, exactly, had Donnie been doing with the beans? Had he eaten any of them, and if so, how many? Who had bought the coffee? And what was he going to do with it now that several to most of the beans had been on the floor?

"Donnie." Leo said exasperatedly.

Hearing his name, the little turtle's attention snapped to his father. A look caught somewhere between horror and guilt was plastered on his face.

"I not mean to! I sowwy." The child stuttered in his haste to explain himself.

Leo set the box down on the counter and helped his son pick up the rest of the beans. "How did the coffee get on the floor, Donnie?"

"It falled with box!"

Leo looked around for a box and spotted a cereal box lying on the floor behind Donnie. It did look like the child had pulled out one cereal box and knocked another one and the coffee on the floor by mistake.

"Ok." Leo nodded. Now it was time to get the parent question out of the way. "Did you eat any of them?"

Donnie shook his head, and Leo was pretty sure that he was telling the truth, especially since the small turtle hardly ever put anything, including food, in his mouth. He chose to let his other questions go as Donnie would not know how to answer them anyway. When he glanced over at the young turtle as the last of the coffee beans were finally cleaned up, he noticed that his son seemed upset.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Leo asked gently.

"I bad 'gain?" Donnie asked fearfully.

"Oh, baby, no. No, it was an accident, right?" When Donnie nodded, Leo continued. "I told you that what I did the other day was wrong, and that is still as true now as it was then. I did not mean to hurt you, Donatello. It's my job to make sure you don't get hurt, and I'm sorry for acting like that when Usagi and Gen came."

"I not bad?"

Leo sighed, realizing that nothing said had gotten through. "No, you are not bad. Accidents happen."

Donnie smiled, but still seemed distraught by the mess he had made.

"Make mess."

"But the mess is gone now. No harm done." Leo lifted Donnie to the sink so he could wash his hands. "Want some breakfast?"

Donnie shook his head, and Leo couldn't help but hope that this constant refusal to eat would end soon. If it was this hard to force a three-year-old to eat, he didn't even want to think about what it would be like trying to force a sixteen-year-old to eat. Leonardo poured cereal and juice for both of them, and paid very close attention to everything that went into Donnie's mouth. He spent more of the meal telling the child to eat his breakfast that he did actually eating.

"Ok, time to wash up." Leo announced.

"'gain?"

"Yes, again. You have cereal on your face, and juice on your hands." Leo picked a cornflake off the corner of Donnie's mouth and showed it to the child who grinned innocently.

Once Donnie had been cleaned up Leo picked the box he had brought in from the Battle Shell up off the counter. Once again he debated whether he had chosen the right bandanna.

"What dat?" Donnie asked.

"It's your bandanna." Leo replied. And with those words, he committed to the mask in this box.

"Blue, like you?" The child questioned hopefully.

"No, it's not blue. Blue doesn't suit you."

Donnie frowned almost to the point of pouting. "Like blue."

"This color is much better for you." He opened the small ceder box and showed Donnie the mask that had "belonged" Donatello. The spirit never actually wore the physical mask, but Splinter had given it to him all the same so he would not be left out.

"Smell funny." Donnie commented, looking up at Leo and completely forgetting that he had wanted a blue mask.

"Well, it's been in this box for a very long time."

"has?"

"Yes, it has." Leo decided that now was the time. "Do-" Leo cut himself off, finding it difficult to continue for a moment. "Do you remember the stories Master Splinter told you about Mikey, Raph and I when we were young?"

Donnie nodded.

"Well, there was something that always got left out. Master Splinter did not find three turtles crawling in the ooze. He found four."

Donnie looked at his fingers as though he were trying to figure out just how many four was. "Where other go?"

Leo had a difficult time continuing the story from here. "When he was just a bit younger than you are now, my third brother, the fourth turtle, got very, very sick." It was a story that Leo would not tell again for a very long time.

"He get better?"

Leo shook his head sadly. "No, he did not. He was small for his age, like you are. Often, especially when he got sick, he would refuse to eat. Actually, you are more like him than you know."

"'dis his?" Donnie asked of the bandanna from the box. The question surprised Leo as he had never expected his son to figure that out.

"It used to be, yes. However, I know that he would like you to have it." Leo gently lifted the small piece of fabric from the box and tied it around Donnie's head.

"How's that?" Leo asked when he had finished tying the old bandanna.

"Smell funny."

Leo laughed. "That smell is the smell of cedar. Your mask was in this box for a long time. Here, smell it." Leo handed Donnie the box and the small turtle's eyes watered at the powerful scent of the box's interior.

"Phew!" Donnie exclaimed as he stumbled backward in an attempt to get away from the strong odor of the box.

"You're supposed to smell it, not stuff your nose in it." Leo laughed. "The smell on the bandanna will go away as you wear it." He laughed again when Donnie pitched forward and wrapped his arms around him.

"T'ank you, Daddy!"

"You're welcome, Donnie." He hugged his son. A long time passed before Leo decided to speak again.

"You know, that bandanna makes you an official student of ninjitsu. Shall we go outside for a short lesson?" Leo knew that ninjitsu lessons were far from the highlight of Donnie's day, but perhaps if he could pass it off as going out and playing in the sun he could get the child excited about it for a change. "We can go outside, start something other than tumbling for a change?"

"Want me to hit something?" Donnie asked in mild horror. He knew that his father and uncles hit things a lot in their own ninjitsu training, but in Donnie's experience, hitting things hurt!

"Donnie, do you know why we practice ninjitsu?"

"So humans not get us?"

"Humans and others." Leo replied. When Donnie looked at the floor, Leo sighed.

"Donnie, this world, it's a dangerous place for us. Honor, justice, even life itself are things that we have to fight for. Sometimes for our survival, and sometimes just because it is the right thing to do. We don't fight for the sake of fighting, we fight because we have to. Whether the fight is for ourselves, or for someone who needs help doesn't matter. And our fight has bought us enemies." Leo watched the small turtle, he could only hope that Donnie understood what he was saying. He sighed again. Now he had to make an admission to himself and to his son. An admission of something he wasn't entirely ready to accept himself. Leo took a deep breath and looked Donnie in the eyes.

"I know that this may be difficult for you to understand, but there will come a day when I will not be able to protect you. You will have to defend yourself. When that day comes, I want you to have the skills to do so."

"'tay" Donnie agreed reluctantly.

Leo smiled and led the small turtle outside for a ninjitsu lesson. It may have been comparatively informal, but Leo had a vague sense of it being the child's best performance in a long time. He tried to recall why he might think that, and after a while, realized that Raph and occasionally Mikey had been giving him updates. Updates, that were never particularly glowing. Updates that had always concluded with begging Leo to run the session the next day. Their pleas had fallen on deaf ears for too long.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Later that afternoon, Leonardo learned something about his son that he had never realized before. During their picnic, Donnie cut his hand on a paper plate. The bruise on his arm was a considerably worse injury so Leo was incredibly surprised when Donnie got so worked up over the tiny cut. The elder turtle was at a loss for an explanation. That is, until his son threw up on the ground next to their blanket.

Leo reacted instantly. He grabbed a napkin and pressed it over the paper cut and gently wrapped that arm around Donnie, who had started crying. The other hand pulled a bottle of water out of the box he had used as a picnic basket.

"Rinse your mouth out first. Don't swallow, spit it back out." Leo watched as Donnie obediently followed the instructions and spit the water back out on the ground.

"Ok, one more time then you can drink some."

Again Donnie obeyed and soon calmed down. Leo added 'queasy around blood' to the list of things he'd have to work on with Donnie, and he had a feeling that out of every aspect of the training Donnie would undergo in the coming years, overcoming that particular hurdle was going to be one of the hardest things for both of them. The question of whether Donnie would react that way to all blood or just his own still remained. Leo realized now that there had been times that Donnie had seen the others bloodied. The child had had his share of scraped knees too. Only now did Leo realize that each time, Donnie had looked more ill than in pain.

"Well, I don't know about you, baby, but I think I've had just about as much outside as I can take for now. Would you like to go back in the house?"

Leo was completely unsurprised when Donnie nodded. He packed up the picnic and took his son back inside.

* * *

"What dis?" Donnie asked.

"It's a scar." Leo replied.

"What sca'?"

"I got hurt there a long time ago. When it healed, it left a mark called a scar."

"booboo?"

"Yes, a long time ago it was a bad booboo." Leo watched as Donnie poked at the scar a couple times. He wasn't so sure he liked the poking and was just about to put a stop to it when Donnie quit on his own and looked up at him.

"How?"

"Hmm..." Leo tried to remember. "That one came from a mouser that nipped me in our old lair, where we lived before we moved to where we live now."

"An' dis?"

"That's another scar"

"How?"

"Raph and I were running in the sewers and I slipped and fell"

"booboo?"

"Yes. It was a big booboo a long time ago."

Leo continued to explain how he got various scars to Donnie as the tiny turtle questioned him. He was quickly beginning to wish that the little turtle would find another source of entertainment. This could potentially go on for hours. Donnie had crawled into his lap and the last few scars had been on Leo's arms.

"Dis?" Donnie reached up and touched the spot where a large chunk of Leo's shell had been gouged out by Shredder in the final battle. Leo cringed and quickly pulled Donnie's little hands away from the still tender spot.

"That is a very bad booboo."

"hu't?"

"Yes, it hurts very bad. Please do not touch it."

"How?"

"Donnie, why don't we read a book? How does that sound?" Leo suggested, but Donnie seemed intent on getting the story behind the missing piece of shell.

"How?"

"Look, Yertle the Turtle, you like that book, don't you?"

"How?" Donnie pleaded a little more insistently.

"Don't want to hear Yertle, huh? How about The Tortoise and the Hare?"

"How!" Donnie demanded, not to be deterred. Leo was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of punishment.

"Johnnie and Billie Bushytail?"

"Daddy!" Donnie replied impatiently as the game he had so enjoyed was being put on hold. "How?"

"Donnie, Daddy is getting very tired of this game. It is time to do something else for a while" Leo removed his child from his lap and stood up, leaving the small turtle on the sofa.

"Daddy ang'y 'gain?"

Leo halted and slowly turned back around at the plaintive tone Donnie had used. When he got all the way around, he saw the look on Donnie's face; it was a look like someone had just taken away the child's best friend. The tiny turtle stood on the couch cushion, with one hand on the back to help him balance and twisted around as far as he could to face his daddy. All Leo could do was sigh.

"No, daddy's not angry. He just can't tell you the story of that injury yet."

"Big booboo?" Donnie asked.

"Yes, big booboo that Daddy doesn't want to talk about."

"but talk good"

"Well." Leo corrected. "You talk well."

"No," Donnie insisted as he hopped off the couch and ran over to hug Leo's leg. "Talk good. Make booboo better."

"Donnie, I-"

"talk talk!"

Leo wondered if Donnie knew what he was saying, or if he was just repeating something that Mikey had once said to him or... something else. For a moment, Leo closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he nodded, picked up his son and returned to the couch, setting Donnie on his knee.

"You want the story, ok. Remember when Master Splinter went away?" Leo asked, keeping his voice as even as he could. Donnie nodded and Leo continued.

"Well, that day we were fighting a very bad guy. A bad guy even among bad guys. A guy as bad as they come. This bad man took Master Splinter away from us, and he had a very sharp weapon that took away that piece of my shell and gave me that booboo."

Though he honestly believed that he would never be able to explain why, Leo felt a little better.

"Bad guy give Daddy booboo?"

"Yes, the bad guy gave me a booboo." The shocked expression on Donnie's face made Leo realize that every other scar Donnie had asked about had an innocuous sounding explanation. Donnie had no concept of mousers or even the Foot or the Purple Dragons, but he did know what a bad guy was.

"You want me fight bad guy too when I get big?" Donnie asked in a worried tone.

Leo smiled down at his amazingly intelligent child. "I want you to be able to, — that is why we have been training you in ninjitsu.— but I hope you never have to."

The small turtle seemed to consider the statement for a moment before nodding. Leo could not be sure whether the child actually understood what had been said or not, but Leo was sure that this would not be the last time Donnie heard those words.


	18. Chapter 18

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.**  
**

** A/N:** I realized when I was editing this one that it probably should have been attached to the last chapter. Oh well. Here it is, standing alone!

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Leonardo glanced at the ringing Shell Cell on his belt. He had just put Donnie down for a nap when it had started ringing. There were not very many possible people who could be on the other end, but he had a feeling that it was Raph, or it was Mikey complaining about Raph. The device had once had a caller ID feature, but they were hard pressed enough just to keep the shell cells working at all and the caller ID had failed on Leo's phone some time ago. Leo hoped that Donnie slept through the ringer as he moved a few rooms farther away and answered the phone.

"Leo, Casey found it." Raph informed him by way of greeting.

"Excuse me for being slightly out of the loop, but found what?"

"Bishop's little hideout. Looks like he's packing up though. If we want to get him, we have to go tonight."

Leo glanced from the Shell Cell to the room where Donnie was currently resting. "No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Raph demanded.

"I told you he wasn't gonna do it." Mikey added from the background, earning a growl from Raphael.

"Why the shell not, Leo?"

"Three days, Raph. I promised three days." Leo responded. "I've broken enough promises to him lately. I'm not breaking this one. Bishop will surface again and when he does, we'll take care of it."

"Leo, you don't understand!" Raph objected. "He's pulling out! This may be the last chance we get."

"No, Raph. You're the one who doesn't understand." Leo tried very hard to keep his voice down. "I promised three days, and this IS the last chance I have to keep that promise. I'm not breaking it, not this time."

"I thought you wanted Bishop gone, Leo."

"I do, but it's just going to have to wait a while longer."

"Do you have any idea how confusing you've been lately?" Raphael demanded. "You've been so gung ho for a fight for so long, and now suddenly you're saying no to one?"

Leo sighed and was silent for a long moment. So long, apparently, that Raph was checking whether or not he was still there.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here, Raph. You want to know my reason, ok. I had a chance to think about the way I've been acting, who I'd become. I don't like him, Raph." Leo explained with a sigh. He paused a moment before continuing. "And I had a little visit last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"It seemed almost like a recording, but it was him."

"Who?"

"Don."

"Leo, Donnie's supposed to be up there with you." Raph was suddenly getting a little worried about Leo's mental state, and concern for little Donnie's wellbeing followed soon after.

"He is. I'm talking about our brother. I saw _Don_ last night. It wasn't like before, more like a recording." Leo found that he was repeating himself, and that he did not really care. He continued speaking before Raph could interrupt.

"He said that he's gone for good, Raph. That he had to go to make way for Donnie. Master Splinter is happy in the spirit realm; he has Master Yoshi again. They're there waiting for us." Leo laughed a little. "but they don't want to see us there any time soon. They check in on us from time to time to make sure we're ok."

"Sounds like he's doing alright." Raph said sadly. Though he was happy that Splinter had found a peace in the spirit realm that Don never had, he still missed his sensei and father.

"Yeah, Master Splinter is happy, and this is how it should be. But that wasn't the thing that really made me think, Raph. Don said he trusted me, that I've always been there for him, and that he knew I'd be there for Donnie in the future." Leo paused for a moment to see if Raph would say anything. When his red-masked brother remained silent, Leo continued. "I just don't want his trust to be misplaced, even if he will never know about it. And he wanted me to tell you that he loves you." When silence was all that answered him, Leo spoke again. "I promised Donnie three days. He may not know the difference if I only give him two, but I'm not going to do that to him. I promised three, and he's going to get three. If Bishop is still around tomorrow night, we can go then. If he's gone, he'll surface again soon. He never disappears for long, Raph You know that."

"Ok, Leo. You win. We'll wait." Raph admitted and hung up the phone without another word.

"I told you he'd say no." Mikey commented.

"Yeah, yeah, I know ya did."

"It's a good reason, Raph."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't have to like it." Raphael glowered.

"Raph," Mikey turned around on the couch so he was facing his brother. "every time we go out after Bishop or the Foot or even the Purple Dragons, there's a chance that we won't come back. Leo just wants to be here for Donnie as long as possible. He's not going to take the same sort of risks he used to."

"I know, Mikey."

"Just don't be too hard on him, ok? He's only doing what he thinks is right." With that, Michelangelo turned back to his TV program.


	19. Chapter 19

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 19**

"I'm gonna get you!" Michelangelo laughed as he chased a giggling Donatello through the sewer tunnel. This section of the sewers was run off water and a considerably safer place for the child to play than tunnels that actually carried the city's raw sewage. The weather had warmed and they were playing an active enough game that Donnie was allowed to run around without his sweatshirt on. The game was hide and seek. Mikey was it for now and Donnie was racing for the support that had been designated the safe zone.

The orange masked turtle had to give it to the squirt. Donnie had picked a hiding place with a back door. A back door that Mikey couldn't get through. The little turtle had scrambled through the hole and actually escaped his uncle before Mikey could snatch him up. Though Mikey could easily catch up with Donnie now that they were in the chase part of the game, he let the child stay a couple steps ahead of him. Donnie latched both arms around the support.

"All ye all ye oxen fwee!" The tiny turtle shouted. He then squealed in delight as Mikey pulled him up from the floor and started to tickle and kiss him.

"Muahahaha! All shall fear me for I am the tickle monster!" Mikey cackled as he continued the onslaught that was leaving Donnie laughing madly.

Before finally deciding that this tunnel was a safe place for Donnie to play, Mikey had carefully checked the area for anyone or anything that might spot them. He wanted to give the kid space to play, but to be seen while doing so would be foolish dangerous. They all knew that and were especially careful about the sewer tunnels Donnie was allowed to play in.

Donnie squirmed and twisted in an attempt to escape his uncle's relentless tickling. He had learned a couple of escape techniques from Leo in his latest ninja sessions, but those techniques went right out the window when it came time to actually try escaping from Mikey. Instead the young turtle continued his random squirming.

"Come on, Donnie." Mikey urged, stepping into a sensei role even as he continued to tickle the child. "You know how to get out of this." He blew a raspberry on Donnie's side where the comparatively soft bridge was more sensitive, causing Donnie to squeal yet again. A moment after Mikey's prodding, Donnie's training kicked in and he attempted the moves he had been learning. The move passed Mikey's standards and he let the child drop to the floor.

Donnie twisted as he fell and just managed to land upright, though he tipped too far forward and had to catch himself with his hands. He grinned up at his uncle then hugged Mikey's leg, residual giggles from the tickling he'd received still slipping free.

"You hide now!" Donnie chirped before heading to the support and covering his eyes.

"1...2...3...4...5. Here I come, ready or not!" Mikey only got a count of five when he hid compared to Donnie's 20, but it was always more than enough time for the ninja who when playing this game with his brothers had to just escape the 'it'.

The orange masked turtle watched the small purple masked one search the lower area from his perch on an overhead pipe. His hiding place allowed him to follow Donnie around the play area and make sure the child did not leave or find any trouble in their games. Donnie had proven time and again that he was just as capable of finding trouble as his father and uncles were.

"Uncle Miiiiikeeeey." Donnie called quietly as he continued searching the low areas.

Mikey watched Donnie's continued search and chuckled quietly to himself. The little turtle on the ground was just figuring out that some hiding places were not necessarily at eye level or below. A fact that was especially true when dealing with his uncles and daddy.

Donnie made a slightly frustrated noise before glancing around at a higher level. His eyes did not quite reach the ceiling where Mikey was hidden on top of the pipe and within easy sight, if the child only looked up. Donnie then wandered down the tunnel back toward the home base. This time instead of searching the low-lying areas, he was looking a bit higher, but he still did not look up.

Reaching the end of the play space again, Donnie sighed. He still had not found his uncle, though he did know from experience that Mikey was definitely there. The little turtle set out once again to find his hidden uncle.

"I know you he'e" Donnie called out quietly. "Somewhe'e." He amended after a moment. This pass through the tunnel he returned to the low places and Mikey had to stifle a sigh.

In another pass or two through the tunnel, the child would start to get frightened, Mikey could see the beginnings of that fear in the way Donnie was moving. He just hoped that Donnie would look up first. Mikey continued following Donnie through the tunnel, staying right over the small turtle's head.

Another pass complete, Donnie started to really worry that he'd been left alone. No one had ever left him alone out here before, but there was a first time for everything. He had not yet reached full blown panic yet, but there was definitely worry there. Donnie bit his lip and started the pass back down today's play tunnel. Suddenly the tunnel was much more frightening now than it had been just a short while ago.

Donnie fretted for a moment at the home support and bounced a couple of times. He looked around, but did not yet get around to straight up. Mikey could tell that his small nephew was getting upset and sighed, making a soft noise that if Donnie were really paying attention he could have heard and recognized. Unfortunately, the child was beyond that. Donnie ran up the tunnel once more then raced back to the home support.

Mikey had to hurry along the pipes to keep up with the little turtle as Donnie's search for him became more frantic. Hearing a small whimper from the turtle on the ground, Mikey chose to make his presence known.

"Donnie, boo!" Mikey called out before dropping from his perch and landing right behind the startled young turtle. Donnie whipped around and latched onto Mikey's leg, crying. Mikey picked up the scared boy.

"I thought you'd left!" The little turtle cried.

"Shh... Donnie, it's ok." Mikey soothed. "I'd never leave you alone in the tunnels. None of us would ever leave you alone in the tunnels. You know that right?"

Donnie hugged Mikey tightly and eventually nodded.

"So why did you think I'd left?"

"'cuz I couldn't... couldn't find you afte' a long time!" Donnie sniffled. "And the tunnel da'k and scawy." He buried his face in his uncle's neck.

"You never looked up, buddy." Mikey told his little nephew. "If you'd looked straight up, I was right there the whole time."

"was?" Donnie asked.

"Yes, I was. Right above your head the whole time." Mikey repeated. The words calmed the little turtle a bit more and Donnie smiled.

"I was scawed."

"I know you were, pipsqueak," Mikey smiled back. "but you didn't have to be. You're safe out here as long as you stay with one of us."

Donnie smiled and hugged his uncle again. "Go back now?"

"Yeah, we can go home now. We'll come out and play again tomorrow, alright?"

"Ok!" Donnie squeaked brightly and hugged Mikey tightly before being put back down on the ground. Once there, he reached up and took his uncle's hand for the walk home.

Mikey's senses were on full alert, even as he gave Donnie a few lessons on how to get home and find his way around the sewers. They had been farther from the lair than usual today, which had contributed to Donnie's anxiety during the hide and seek game.

"Do you remember which way the water was running when we came out of the lair?" Mikey asked the child as they stood on a walkway on the edge of the tunnel.

Donnie bit his lip for a moment and tried to remember which way the water had been going. After a moment he pointed to the left.

"That's right!" Mikey grinned and tossed the four-year-old in the air and caught him. Donnie squealed as he flew and hugged Mikey tight with a bright smile on his face as the older turtle pulled the young one close before returning him to the ground.

The pair walked in silence until they came to a junction.

"What about here, do you remember which way the water was going?"

Donnie paused, he did not remember. He looked both ways in the tunnel and realized that he had no idea how to get home from here. Biting his lip, the child looked up at his uncle and made a guess.

"Are you sure?" Mikey asked. When Donnie pointed the other way and gave him a questioning look, Mikey had his answer. He, of all people was just starting a small lesson on paying more attention to where one was going when everything went black. The last thing Mikey heard was his nephew's scream.


	20. Chapter 20

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

**A/N:** I am really ticked off at this site right now. The line button no longer works and I have to put them in manually using HTML code! ARGH! Additionally, they have started deleting my markers that tell me where the breaks are, so I don't know where those lines are supposed to be! And they're a real pain to put in with my word processor too! I think I got them all and in the right places.

Ok, I am going to apologize in advance for what will probably be sporadic updates in the coming month or two. I am taking some serious tests this week and will be moving across the country as soon as I finish. During that time I most likely will have no Internet access. I will also have a pretty rough work schedule as soon as I get where I'm going so it will take a while to get adjusted and into a routine. As soon as I am settled again, this and other stories that have been waiting for too long (Amiah comes to mind) will continue. Again, this story is complete on my harddrive and in a couple of other places as back up so I will post more as soon as I get the opportunity. I should also apologize for the lateness of this chapter. Our network has been out for the past couple of days, so without further ado...

* * *

**Chapter 20**

So far, Raphael had refrained from saying 'I told you so'. Some little part of Leonardo's mind wondered how long that would last, but he had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

"Mikey!" Leo called again from over Raph's shoulder. "Come on, wake up." He begged. Considering the mayhem that he had found several yards upstream of Michelangelo's unconscious form, Leo had a pretty good idea of who had done this; the same someone that Raph had wanted to go after two months ago when he had been at the farmhouse with Donnie.

"Ugh," Mikey moaned, "What happened?" He glanced around and noticed that he was propped up against Raph's chest, and that both of his brothers looked incredibly worried.

"We were kind of hoping you knew." Raph replied.

"Take your time." Added Leo, hoping that Mike would remember something.

"Um... we were- oh God." Mikey moaned. "Donnie... did you find him?"

Raph shook his head. As soon as they'd come across Mikey lying unconscious in the sewers, the first thing Leo had done was search for his son while Raph had been trying to rouse Mike.

"Leo, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Mikey." Raph insisted when he felt Leo drop his head behind him. It was a pretty fair assumption that Leo would be unable to respond to Mikey's apology at the moment. "You couldn't have known. Think you can stand now?"

Michelangelo could not bring himself to look at his blue-masked brother as he assessed his physical state. "Um, yeah, I think so." Slowly, he got to his feet with Raph's help.

"Raph, Mikey, call Casey and April. They already know the type of thing to look for. Get them on the streets now." Before anything else could be said, Leo was up the nearest ladder and on the surface.

"Who exactly are we looking for, Mikey?" Raph asked as he pulled his phone from his belt.

"Bishop. God, Raph. I can't believe I lost Donnie."

"We'll get 'im back." With that, Raphael dialed Casey and ran back to the lair with Mikey.

"I'm going out on the Shell Cycle." Raph informed his brother. "Might find something worth looking into. You ok here, alone?"

"No, I'll take the Battle Shell. Where are you headed?" Together, they sorted out where they'd be searching and headed out to find their nephew.

* * *

"Leo, I got a warehouse on 108th. Looks promising." Raph said over the Shell Cell. "I can't be sure whether it's Bishop or someone else until I get a closer look, but this looks like his sort of toy more than Foot or PDs." 

"I'll be right there," Leo replied before hanging up and calling Mikey. Within ten minutes all three turtles were outside Raphael's warehouse.

"It's definitely him alright. His little, flunky commandos have been in and out since I called, but whether or not they've got-"

"I don't care." Leo growled. "If it's Bishop's little hideout then it's not lasting the night." It was a tone that Raphael and Michelangelo had not heard in a while. Leonardo was pissed off, and Raph did not envy Bishop the beating he was about to receive courtesy of one royally peeved, blue-masked terrapin.

Reconnaissance of the building did not last as long as usual, but Mikey could understand Leo's haste to get inside. He just hoped that they were not making a mistake that they would wind up regretting.

"We don't have time for this." Leonardo growled as he lost his patience, ripped a ventilation cover from the nearest shaft he found and dropped inside. He knew that Bishop was probably aware of their presence now, and he did not care in the least. This was going to end here and now. Bishop had gone too far this time.

Leo could feel his brothers crawling along behind him as he made his way through the air duct. He'd been watching the hall underneath him and decided that it was clear. He kicked down a vent cover and dropped into the corridor below. Almost immediately, the very person that he had been looking for found them. Leo turned around and had his swords out and ready before Bishop even had a chance to speak.

"Well, well, well. Just when I thought you couldn't possibly have anything else to offer my research, you surprise me yet again. You really are fascinating subjects." The man cooed in that calm and cocky voice that grated on the turtles' nerves.

"Where is he, Bishop?" Leo demanded darkly. Not interested in the EPF agent's incessant holier-than-thou, doing-the-world-a-favor chatter.

"I assume you are referring to the little one. I must admit, I hadn't believed you capable, yet a few months ago what do I hear about? None other than a child. Three male turtles and one baby. Now, somehow, that doesn't add up in my mind."

"Where is he?"

"tsk, tsk, tsk. Leonardo, your child is unharmed. He will be helpful to me and my research, and will be preserved. I really must know how you managed it, Leonardo. Hybrids are infertile. What is it about your mutation that allows you to have a child? And, where is the mother?"

"I will go through you if I have to and find him on my own, but you are NOT keeping my son!"

"Now, now, Leonardo. I am doing the world a favor."

"Raph, Mikey, go find him. I have some unfinished business to take care of here." Leo snarled.

"But Leo-" Mikey started.

"Go." Leo ordered as he launched himself at Bishop. Bishop avoided the blades and kicked Leo into the wall. From his place on the ground, the blue-masked turtle could see that Mikey was still standing in the doorway. "Get outta here! Go find him!" Leo growled. This time, Mikey did what he was told and booked it out of the room with Raph hot on his heels.

"NO!" Bishop screamed. He tried to get to a console to call his commandos and get them to follow the pair of skedaddling turtles, but he never got there as Leonardo flipped up from the floor and took another lunge at the deranged agent.

* * *

Raphael and Michelangelo raced through the corridors searching for their little nephew. A couple of Bishop's agents were spotted, but each time the two turtles managed to stay out of sight. The hallway they were making their way through came to a dead end. Large heavy doors stood off to either side, and the two turtles split up at that point with one taking each direction. They would meet back here in five minutes. 

Raphael searched his corridor, there was nothing here. It was completely empty, no personnel, no experiments, nothing. It did not take long to realize that this was pointless. Instead of spending more time here, he set off after Mikey. Almost as soon as he had the door his brother had gone through open, he heard a scream, and he recognized the voice. Raph raced along the corridor toward the sound and quickly caught up with Mikey.

Michelangelo had smashed into a lab upon hearing Donnie's scream. The sound had chilled him to the bone. He had never, ever heard his little nephew scream like that. Donatello was definitely in pain and Mikey was not about to let that continue. He was standing in what seemed to be an outer lab with another section beyond it when Raph caught up with him. They said nothing to each other as they hurried through the lab space.

"No, no p'ease, do-"

The hurried plea was cut off by another scream and Raphael snapped. He kicked down the door and barged into the into the inner lab. The agent standing behind the lab table never knew what hit him.

While Raph was busy with the lab worker, Mikey hurried over to where Donnie laid whimpering in a small cage. It took a while to figure out how to get into the cage and remove the restraints from the tiny turtle. When Mikey touched Donnie he couldn't help but notice that the child flinched in response. The next thing he noticed was that Donnie was too warm. As he continued working the restraints, Donnie twitched several times, and Michelangelo sighed.

"What has that bastard been doing to you?" He asked quietly. The question was rhetorical, Donnie was in no shape to answer. The little turtle just laid there whimpering as he had since Mikey had arrived.

Freeing the child from the final restraint, Mikey gently picked him up. Or tried to, the second Donnie was off the floor of the cage, he seemed to panic. The little turtle thrashed around in his uncle's arms and screamed to be let go.

"Donnie, Donnie, calm down, it's me, Uncle Mikey. Come on, calm down." Mikey tried desperately to soothe the child's fears, but nothing he said or did seemed to help. Donnie continued his violent thrashing.

Raphael looked up as Donnie started screaming and fighting against Mikey. The scientist who had been working on the young turtle was no longer a threat, and Raph moved over to his brother and nephew. Mikey was making no progress in calming Donnie down.

"Mike, want me to try?" Raph asked as he approached the pair, figuring that if it didn't help the situation, there was little he could do to make it worse. Michelangelo sighed as he handed the struggling turtle over.

Raph pulled Donnie close to his chest and immobilized the child as best he could without risking hurting him. He then started to gently rub the back of Donnie's neck. Both older turtles were still trying to talk the younger one down from his distressed state. Donnie continued to fight for a moment longer before his struggles weakened. As they died down, Donnie seemed to become a little more aware of his surroundings. Raph continued rubbing Donnie's neck.

"Unca... Waph?" Donnie forced out softly between ragged breaths brought on by his ordeal and the recent struggle with his uncles.

"Yeah, it's me. Uncle Mikey is here too. It's ok." He whispered to the child in his arms. Donnie whimpered and held tight to his uncle.

"D-daddy?" He asked in a tiny voice.

"He's busy. He'll meet us later." Raph responded as he and Mikey started to move. "I need you to be very quiet now while we get out of here, ok?" He felt a small nod on his shoulder and a tightening of Donnie's grip on his neck. Raph sighed and looked at Mikey before the group started making their way out of the building. A moment later, Raph's shell cell rang.

* * *

"You have messed with my family for far too long, Bishop, this is where it ends!" Leonardo screamed. He dipped into his ninjitsu and let his body take control. It knew what to do. His senses stretched out and he was more aware of his surroundings than he had ever been. Bishop's lightning quick moves seemed to stretch out before him, making it seem as though the man were fighting in molasses rather than normal air. As the fight continued, Leo began to rant. 

"You have messed with me!"

Leonardo slammed a fist into Bishop's face.

"You have messed with my brothers!"

He ducked a blow as his opponent lashed out at him before sweeping one leg through and pulling Bishop's feet out from under him.

"You have messed with my father!"

Bishop flipped up from his prone position on the floor before Leo could drive the blade of his weapon home. Leonardo jumped over an ineffective strike toward his knee then rammed his shell into Bishop with all the momentum he could muster.

"But now you have gone too far,"

Leo slammed his left foot into Bishop's right hip and pinned the man to the wall.

"Because no one messes with my son!" Leo growled flatly with an icy glare.

This time, Bishop could not avoid the blade that drove hard through his midsection. Leo twisted his right sword ninety degrees, forcing Bishop's body to freeze in reflex a moment longer. He then came around with his left, decapitating the man. The severed head was left in the hall behind him as Leonardo pulled his Shell Cell from his belt.

"Raph, you find him?" His tone was all business as he came down from the fight with Bishop.

"Yeah, we got him, Leo. See ya outside."

"Don't come back through here, I don't want him seeing this." Leo said sincerely. The gentle concern in his voice juxtaposing the brutal actions and hateful words of moments ago.

"Right, back way out it is."

Leonardo sighed, closed the phone and walked toward the exit. Any resistance he came across was quickly subdued or disposed of.

Just as he was about to head up and meet his brothers, Leo changed his mind and gave them another call. "Raph, Mikey, take Donnie back in the Battle Shell. I'll bring the Shell Cycle back."

"He's pretty shaken up, Leo." Raph informed, hoping that Leo would change his mind.

"Seeing me now would only make things worse. Take him home, get him into his room. I'll be right behind you. Once I've cleaned up-"

"He's not gonna care if you're a mess, Leo. He needs ya right now." Raph interrupted his brother.

"He'll care this time, Raph. Trust me, he'll care." Leo looked down at the blood that covered much of his body. Some of it was his own, more of it was Bishop's.

"At least talk to him then." Without another word, Raph turned on the speaker phone so the child that was attached to his neck like some sort of strange extra appendage could hear. "It's your daddy. He'll be at home when we get there."

"Hey, baby." Leo greeted gently. "You ok?"

"D-Daddy." Donnie forced out.

"Yeah, I'll see you at home, ok? I'm sorry I can't be there right now." At that moment Leo heard the Battle Shell's engine turn over in the background and he hurried to the Shell Cycle. He pulled the miraculously still functional hands-free unit off the Shell Cell and put it on before Raph's helmet which had been left with the bike.

"Gone?" Donnie asked quietly, Leo almost didn't hear him over the roar of the Shell Cycle's engine, which purred as sweetly as it ever had. Raphael may not be the best guy with electronics, but he knew how to tune a bike.

"Yes, baby. The bad guy is gone, I promise. You don't need to worry about him anymore. He can't get you now. You're safe with Raph and Mikey. I'll see you at home."

"Daddy!" Donnie cried a little louder.

"I know, I know. I'll be home right behind you, ok? You're safe now. I'll be there before you know it." Leo decided to beat his brothers home, and passed the Battle Shell. If he hurried, he might make it out of the shower before they even got Donnie to bed. "I have to go now, Donnie. I'll see you soon."

The last thing Leo heard before he cut the connection and turned his full focus to the road was a very quiet, heartbroken "bye-bye."

* * *

Back inside the building, Baxter Stockman found Bishop and took him back to the lab. 


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Wow, it's been a while on this one. I am getting settled here, but work is going to be crazy for a while longer. Hopefully that will calm down soon and I will be able to get back to reading and writing more often. I am absolutely exhausted, but this was edited and prepped for posting yesterday so I figured I'd get it up before scampering off to bed. I'm back! (kind of) While I cannot yet guarantee the regular updates I was able to get in this summer, I hope to get back to that sort of posting soon. In the meantime, enjoy! **Note:** _ITALICS_ are throughts or flashbacks in my stories.**  
**

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Leo did beat his family home, and when he got out of the shower, Mikey was just coming out of Donnie's room shaking his head slowly and rubbing the back of his skull with one hand. Leo had left his bloodied katana in the bathroom. Blood could make them rust faster than anything, but he could always make another pair if he needed too, and there was something more important to take care of first.

"Where is he?" Leo asked.

"He's in his room. Kinda won't let Raph go, but I think he really wants you. An-."

Leo nodded as Mikey spoke and headed toward Donnie's room. "Mikey, could you do me a favor?" he asked, interrupting his brother's explanation.

Michelangelo looked up at his brother. "Yeah sure. Anything." _ After all, I'm the one who lost your kid._ He thought to himself.

"I left a bit of a mess in the bathroom,"

"I'll clean it up."

"Thanks, Mikey." Leo nodded as he headed toward Donnie's room.

"Leo?" Mikey called out, stopping his brother in his tracks. Leo turned to face him, and Mikey continued. He explained what happened in the base and continued with the occurrences in the truck on the way home.

"In the Battle Shell, after you hung up." The orange-masked turtle explained slowly. "He started struggling against Raph again. It didn't last long, but... Leo, Raph said it might have been..."

* * *

_Raphael sat in the back of the Battle Shell holding his small nephew tightly as Mikey guided the rig back to the lair. He was still ticked off that Leo had refused to come take Donnie as it was obvious that the kid truly needed his daddy right now. There were times that an annoyed Uncle Raph simply was not enough for the kid, and this was one of those times. The red-masked turtle glared as the Shell Cycle raced past them. At least he knew that his brother was in a hurry to get home._

_Donnie still clung to Raphael's neck, holding onto his uncle and refusing to be put down even for a moment. The little turtle was terrified after his experience, and Raph could not blame him. When Donnie started to whimper quietly, Raph started rubbing the child's neck again and tried to quiet him. He noticed that while Donnie had been too warm when they had rescued him from the lab that he was chilled now. Knowing that could not possibly be good for him, Raphael sighed and did what little he could to warm his small nephew._

_Without any warning whatsoever Donnie started to lash out against Raph. He struggled against his uncle and seemed to be fighting to escape._

"_Donnie?" Raph called. "Donnie, stop! You're safe now, it's ok!"_

_But Donnie did not listen. He continued his struggles and Raphael noticed that there was no pattern to the little turtle's movements. Donnie had fought to get out of Raph's arms enough in the past for the older turtle to know what it felt like, and this was different._

"_Raph, what's going on back there?" Mikey asked in worried tones, upon hearing the commotion._

"_I don't know." Raphael responded as he put Donnie on the floor of the Battle Shell. The child just continued his fighting. "He might be having a seizure." Raph watched Donnie carefully and made sure he did not run into anything._

_As quickly as it started, Donnie's episode stopped. The small turtle laid on the floor with tears in his eyes, looking up at his uncle. He whimpered quietly and held out his arms to be picked up. Raphael sighed and did so._

"_Donnie, are you ok?" Raph asked. The only response he got was a small shiver. "Donnie?"_

_Donatello looked up at Raph, but said nothing._

"_Are you alright?" Raph sighed when Donnie just blinked at him with a confused and pained expression on his face. The red-masked turtle hugged the young purple-masked one tightly as Mikey parked the truck. He then hopped out of the back and made his way to Donnie's room._

* * *

Leo knew that he should react to that information somehow, but he found that he couldn't. He felt numb. All he could do was nod. With nothing more than that, he turned and headed for Donnie's room. 

When Michelangelo entered the bathroom, he found that Leo's 'bit of a mess' was the understatement of the century, at least... possibly the millennium. Mikey shook his head at the amount of blood in the room and started to clean it up. When he spotted Leo's katana, he set them aside to be cleaned as soon as the bathroom was done.

* * *

"Hey." Leo said quietly as he pushed open the door to Donnie's room and poked his head inside. He noted that Donnie had his arms wrapped tightly around Raph's neck and did not seem in any hurry to let go. In fact it almost seemed like the child had failed to hear Leo's greeting. 

Raph gave Leo a half smile, half glare then turned his face to Donnie. "Hey, kiddo, look who's here."

Donnie did as asked then held out one small arm to Leo, leaving the other securely around Raphael. The blue-masked turtle moved over and sat down next to his brother. He scooted closer and was practically sitting in Raph's lap before Donnie launched himself across the remaining distance and latched onto his neck, freeing the red-masked turtle. Donnie still remained silent. He just clung to Leo as though hanging on for dear life. Leo wrapped his own arms around the small child and Raph gently rubbed Donnie's neck for a moment before making his way out of the room. He wanted a chance to clean up as well, and Leo and Donnie needed a little father son time.

Leo sat there, just holding Donnie tightly. He did not know how much time had passed, just that he had been there for a very long time. In all that time, despite Leo's several attempts at conversation, Donnie had remained completely silent. The small turtle never made more noise than quiet, shuddering breaths. Nothing Leo did, no reassurance he offered could make Donnie either speak or let go. Leo felt for his small son who had just been through something that no one could ever truly be prepared for. Unfortunately, Leo had yet to find anything to help the situation. The memory of the phone conversation he had had with Donnie flitted through his mind. Donnie had barely spoken then too, using only a few words instead of the full sentences he had been speaking with lately.

"Come on, Donnie." Leo begged the child to release him. "Daddy has to move."

Still he received no response, and an attempt to pull his son's hands apart only resulted in additional agitation. Leo did not feel like dislocating any of Donnie's joints to get him off. Instead he shifted so the small child was nestled in the crook of his arm and stood up. Still, Donnie said nothing, and he still refused to release his daddy. Once on his feet, Leo headed out of the bedroom. As he passed the bathroom he heard the shower running, signifying that one of his brothers was cleaning up. Leo also noted that Donnie felt a little sticky, probably as a result of his 'little adventure', or possibly just from holding onto Raph as he was now holding onto Leo. Once Raph and Mikey were done in the bathroom, Leo would get back in there and clean up Donnie as well. The blue-masked turtle cursed Bishop's name for frightening his son, his baby, to this point, but he had no idea just how long this was going to continue.

When Leo got back in the bathroom, he tried once more to get Donatello to release him. It was to no avail and he climbed into the shower for the second time that evening, though he wondered if it wouldn't just be easier to use the pool in the main area of the lair. When Donnie tensed at the water on his back, turning his already tight grip into something resembling a choke hold, Leo had his answer. He grabbed soap and a couple of bath toys before heading to the pool.

"What are you doing?" Mikey asked curiously as Leo came into the main room with Donnie.

"He's sticky." Leo responded as he dropped into the shallow section of the pool. Not long ago they had built a small shelf where they could bring Donnie into the water without having thirty feet of nothing but liquid below them. It had been a bit of a trick, but with April and Casey's help, they had managed.

"Uh, ok." Mikey responded, obviously not understanding Leo's actions, but not exactly questioning them either. All the same, Leo chose to answer.

"He got upset about the shower, and he won't let go so I can't give him a bath."

"Why's he so clingy? He's never been like this before." Mikey asked as Leo dropped the toys into the water, sat on the steps and picked up the soap.

"He's scared, Mikey. Wouldn't you be?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

Leo sighed. "He's only four, Mikey. And-" Leo was unsure of whether or not he should share the next bit of what he had slowly come to learn about Donatello over the past year and a half. In the end he decided to tell.

"And I'm not sure he has the memories of a four-year-old."

"What?

"Well, think about it. When he came back, he should have wondered where his brothers were, but he never did. We were still at the farmhouse when he first called me Daddy. If he remembered what things were like before, he should have reserved that for Master Splinter, not me.

"But the fact that he could speak means he remembered something." Mikey countered.

"Yes, but a three year old Donatello with all of his memories intact should have been able to string together complete sentences. Something he's only recently started doing with any kind of consistency." Leo insisted. "And if he's behind language-wise then who's to say whether or not he has the emotional, social and physical experience that he should have? Yes, I agree, something survived, but the question is how much?"

Mikey considered what Leo was telling him for a moment. "So, if you're right, Bishop may have just kidnapped a two year old rather than a four year old."

"I don't know about two, but that's the idea, yes." Leo replied as he tried to move Donnie enough to get soap on him. He employed every method of distraction he could think of, but nothing could get the child to let go of him. Leo offered a toy boat again and got Donnie to release him just long enough to get some soap on the child's plastron before small arms were once again twined around his neck and a plastic boat was digging into the base of his skull. Suddenly, the boat seemed a far less brilliant idea than it had been just moments before. Leo found himself trying to get the soap off of his son while also attempting to remove the toy boat from his neck. And he was not succeeding in either endeavor.

"Hey, kiddo," Leo heard Mikey greet from behind him, and he felt Donnie tense and press the boat harder into the back of his neck.

"Mikey," Leo forced out, "not helping." But Mikey forged ahead.

"I'm really sorry about earlier, buddy." He apologized. "I never meant for that to happen, and you probably don't really understand what I'm saying, but it's the truth." Mikey gently took the boat in one of his hands and gently tried to pry it out of Donnie's. "And right now, I think you're hurting Daddy with this so why don't you let go of him with that hand and play with the boat in the water?"

No such luck. Leo felt a slight relaxation of the pressure on his neck, but the boat was still there, and it seemed that Donnie now had about as much intention of letting it go as he did of letting Leo go.

"Tell you what, small fry." Mikey offered. "Why don't you give me the boat and we'll play with it together while Daddy cleans you up, what do you say?"

Still Donnie refused to release the boat. When Raphael noticed the problem in the pool, he came over and added his own gentle coaxing. Finally, much to Leo's relief, Donnie dropped the boat into the water and turned to face somewhat forward. Now, if only Leo could get him to let go of his neck. The best Leo got was a quick, half-hearted slap at the water while Raph and Mikey guided boats and a rubber duck around, drawing Donnie's attention with them. The play made Donnie shift from time to time, and Leo finally got his son cleaned up.

"Alright," Leo said to the child in his arms. "You're all clean. It's time to get out." Leo half expected to receive some sort of objection as Donnie had actually seemed to start enjoying the bath, but apparently the small turtle was content so long as he was not forced to let go of his daddy.

Even as much as Leo wanted the small arms to release his neck, he was unwilling to really do anything to remove them. He had come too close to losing those little arms to force Donnie to let go just now. Leo just wished that he could make his small son feel safe again. He sat down and just held the child, rocking him gently from side to side in hopes that Donnie would fall asleep. It wasn't long before he heard a small yawn and felt it against his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Donnie." Leo promised. "You don't need to hold on like that. You're safe now." But still Donnie clung to him. "The bad man's gone, Donnie, he can't take you away ever again." Even as he said the words, Leo began to wonder what, exactly Bishop had done to the young turtle.

Donnie did not seem to have any serious injuries, but that was seldom how Bishop worked. Bishop observed and experimented. Often those activities left no obvious physical injuries unless you were a test subject. Since the turtles were already mutants, Bishop seemed to prefer learning more about their mutation than to messing with it. He seemed to recall one of his brothers mentioning that Donnie had been hot when they pulled him out of the cage he had been locked in. Thinking back, Leo also remembered that Donnie had been rather fiercely protective of his left arm in the pool. Leo looked down and found the spot in question, careful not to disturb the half-sleeping child any more than absolutely necessary, Leo gently turned the arm. On the inside of Donnie's elbow were three small puncture wounds and a couple of burn marks.

One had probably been a blood sample, but that left questions about the other two; were they just mistakes, or had Bishop done something else to Donatello? One of the puncture wounds could have been a sedative administered to keep the child quiet on the journey from the sewers to the lab, but what was the other one? And where had the burns come from? Leo had to fight back both tears and rage at the light bruise that meandered up and down his son's arm, following the veins that had been disturbed.

"Oh baby, what did that bastard do to you, huh? I wish you would talk to me." The only response that the blue-masked turtle received from Donnie was a quiet moan as a result of the disturbance. Leo sighed and turned to his brothers who were watching something on TV. He did not recognize the program and did not particularly care what it was.

"I'm going to bed, guys." Leo informed them as he stood up, taking care not to disturb Donnie any more than absolutely necessary.

"You taking him with you?" Mikey asked, turning around.

"Yeah, I think I'll let him stay with me tonight."

"You may be starting something, bro. He might not go back to sleeping in his own bed." Raph informed.

"What do you suggest I do, Raph?" Leo demanded quietly so as not to disturb his young son. "Leave him alone after an experience like that? He doesn't feel safe in his own home anymore!"

"I think you should-" Raph started, but froze before he could finish. "I don't know, Leo."

"Until he feels safe again, I'm not making him stay anywhere by himself! I don't want him to wake up terrified in the middle of the night!" Leo paused for a moment and took a calming breath before continuing. "I don't care what you two do, but we are going to bed." And with that, Leo was gone.

"We did almost lose him again today, Raph, a- and you know how Leo is."

"Yeah, I know, Mikey. I don't want to lose him again either, ok?" Raphael then sighed, turned off the TV and headed to bed himself. For a long time he lay on his hammock staring at the ceiling. No, Raphael was no more ready to lose Donatello again than Leo was, and he knew Mikey felt the same.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Hello again. I, once again, apologize for the slow update. Hopefully the chapters can start coming a little more quickly as soon as I get back home, but I am still on travel for a little while longer. I believe there were some issues with the reviews of the last chapter. I think there was a comment about one that didn't get through, and there was possibly an alert for one that I got that I don't think ever posted. I wrote responses to the signed reviews that got through. If I failed to respond to your review, I apologize, but it was probably lost somewhere in cyberspace.

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Donatello coughed into his daddy's shoulder then shifted restlessly in the strong arms that held him. Leonardo sighed and looked down at his small son in concern as Donnie sniffled and struggled to breathe. Given what had happened, Leo was not at all surprised Donnie had gotten sick, but that did not mean he had to like it. The blue-masked turtle rubbed a few gentle circles on his son's tiny carapace. As he did so, he could feel the child relax and breathe a little easier. It was not much, but it was some help, and it was all Leo could do at the moment. Donnie had taken some medicine earlier and it was too soon for him to take more. As much as Leo hated it, there was nothing he could do to ease Donnie's suffering.

In the days since being kidnapped by Bishop, Donnie's health had deteriorated sharply. Leo guessed that Bishop had either assumed the small turtle was a hardier creature than he was or, more likely, simply did not care. Raph had mentioned that Donnie had been hot when they had gotten him out of the complex and chilled later on the way home. While Donnie generally got the sniffles if he became chilled, this was much more than that. It was nothing compared to how sick the child had been when he first returned, but the young boy was sick enough to have Leo extremely worried.

An additional worry on Leo's mind was how agitated Donnie became if they were separated. Donnie would not allow his daddy to put him down even for a few moments without becoming extremely upset. That on top of his illness had exhausted the young turtle more than once. Whenever Leo managed to put Donnie on the floor, the child simply attached himself to his dad's leg and utterly refused to be left alone. A recent attempt to do so had just ended in Leo picking his son up again.

Leo sighed and took a seat on the couch next to Michelangelo.

"He still sick?" Mikey asked when Leo sat and Donnie coughed again.

"Yeah."

"Still won't let go of you?"

Leo sighed and nodded. It was not that he minded having Donnie around, it was how desperate Donnie was not to be out of arm's reach that concerned and irritated him. The new behavior seemed strange and excessive. Another sigh escaped the blue-masked turtle as he picked up an electric blanket and pulled it over himself and his small, sick son.

When Donnie went limp and extremely still, Leo panicked. It took several moments for him to recognize that the child was still breathing and a few more to realize what had happened. Donatello had finally fallen asleep. Leo almost laughed at his own reaction to the incident. He'd been trying to get Donnie to sleep for the past couple of hours, and the moment Donnie had done so, Leo had panicked. The blue-masked turtle continued to gently rub his son's carapace.

* * *

_**A Week Later**_

Leonardo glanced over the top of his book. Mikey was on the couch reading a comic book. In the corner of the room, Raphael was fighting with a DVD player that Casey had destroyed on his last visit to the lair. Donnie sat at Raph's feet with an old radio. Leo was too far away to be entirely certain, but it looked like Donnie was actually sitting against Raph's leg. Nearly three weeks had passed since Donnie had had his experience with Bishop, and while the young turtle had relinquished his hold on Leo's neck about the time he had started to feel healthy again, he still seemed to deem it necessary to actually be in physical contact with Leo or Raph most of the time. He would settle for Mikey's arms if he had to, but only if Raph or Leo was in the room as well. The thing that probably bothered Leo the most was that Donnie had not said a single word since their phone conversation that night leaving Bishop's headquarters.

Raphael was startled from his work when loud static burst from the floor beneath him. By the time he looked down at where Donnie had been, the small turtle was long gone. Raph caught the tail end of the child's journey as Leo was nearly knocked out of his chair by what was quite possibly the world's first flying terrapin.

"Well, I'll be damned." Raph commented absently as he picked up the radio that was lying on the floor pumping out static at full volume.

"Language." Leo scolded as he tried to calm Donnie down. The child was not crying, but he was still obviously startled to the point of being terrified.

"I didn't think this even had all the parts." Raph continued, ignoring Leo's scolding.

Mikey chuckled from the couch. "He may not be Don exactly, but he's definitely Donatello."

Raphael laughed as he turned the volume down on the radio. "Come here, Donnie. It can't hurt you."

Leo watched his son carefully, and could see that Donnie _almost_ went when Raphael called him over, but was not quite ready to release Leo's neck just yet.

"It's ok, Donnie." Leo assured the small turtle as he tried to pry his son off his neck. "Go on over."

But Donnie didn't. He turned and wrapped himself more tightly around Leo.

"Come on, Donnie. I promise it will behave. Come on. You did good, kiddo." Raph coaxed.

Leo felt a quick shaking on his shoulder and knew that Donnie was probably not going to be releasing him anytime soon unless he did something about this. The blue-masked turtle stood and walked over to Raphael and the now quieted radio.

Raph held the radio out toward Donnie when Leo finally got the child to face forward. "Look, you made it work. Put your hand right here." Raphael indicated the tuning dial on the old radio. When Donnie left both hands securely around Leo's neck and shook his head, Raph tried again, this time turning the dial slightly. He did not move it far but it was enough to pick up a faint signal from a nearby classic rock station. The signal was not directly from the station, Don had put in equipment long ago to retransmit radio signals from the local stations in their home just to prove he could.

Donnie stared at the radio, and Raphael offered it to him again. This time the small turtle turned around in Leo's arms and took the radio in both little hands. He touched the knob Raph had shown him and in that small touch, caught the signal more clearly. Donnie looked up at Leo with a bright smile on his face and gave an excited, little squeak. Again the small turtle reached out for the knob, choosing to give it a good turn this time, and he landed on more static. It was quieter than it had been earlier, but Donnie still made it clear that he did not like the sound. The small turtle moved the knob again and landed on a rap station. Leo laughed when Donnie jumped backward slightly at the new noise from the radio then quickly went for the knob again.

"Kid's got no taste." Raph lamented at the quick station change.

"I think he's got great taste." Leo responded. A classical station now issued forth from the little radio. Donnie eyed the radio for a moment like it was going to burst into that evil static again before yawning and turning back to Leo's shoulder. The elder turtle turned his attention back to the child in his arms who was quickly drifting off to sleep after all the excitement.

"And I think you're absolutely right, Donnie." Leo told the small turtle, "It is time for a nap. Why don't you try sleeping in your own room by yourself today?" He asked as he carried his young son upstairs.

Leo hugged Donnie as he laid him down on his bed. When Leo stood in an attempt to leave, Donnie reached out and latched onto his kneepad. The child had nearly been drug clear out of bed and onto the floor before Leo managed to stop and pick him up again.

"Donnie," Leo pleaded, "this has got to stop. Come on, baby, why won't you talk to me? I haven't heard your voice in over a week. You used to tell me what was bothering you. Please talk to me, instead of just clinging to me all the time." When Donnie said nothing, Leo sighed and got up again. This time he pried Donnie's fingers off of his knee pad and started to leave the room. Donnie immediately hopped out of bed and ran after Leo, latching back onto his leg.

"Donnie!" Leo said in exasperation as he picked up his son and put him back in bed. "You have to stay here, it's nap time. Daddy needs some time for Daddy. He hasn't had any in a week!" He kissed Donnie on the forehead and tried to leave again, only to have Donnie hop right back out of bed and follow him. This time, Leo said nothing as he returned his son to bed. Another attempt to leave yielded the same results as the last two attempts. Leo tried ignoring Donnie, but the child seemed content with that. Yet again, Leo found himself returning his son to bed. Three attempts later he gave Donnie a little swat to the behind as he picked him up and took him back with a brief instruction to stay, but _STILL_ Donnie crawled right back out of bed. Leo rubbed his face and groaned in frustration.

"What am I going to do with you? Why won't you stay in bed, you're safe here. Uncle Raph, Uncle Mikey and I will all be in the main room, right outside your door. Please stay in bed, Donnie." Leo begged. The look in his son's eyes told Leo that Donnie was exhausted and definitely needed the nap, but was not about to be left alone for any amount of time. Leo could see this ending one of two ways, either he gave in and shared Donnie's nap time or he continued about his day with Donnie in tow until the child simply collapsed from exhaustion. The latter would probably lead to Donnie getting sick again. Finally, Leo came up with a compromise. He let his son follow him to the main room where Leo picked up the book he had been reading earlier then returned to Donatello's bedroom. He laid the child in bed again and pulled a chair close to the head of the bed.

"You sleep. I'll be right here." Leo ran his hand gently over Donnie's head and ended with a caress of his son's cheek. Still Donnie said nothing, and he seemed to have some objections to the idea, but Leo could also tell that his son was just tired enough to let it slide this time.

"I'll be right here when you wake up." Leo promised as he leaned back in the chair with his book and forced some distance between himself and his son. While Leo could understand Donnie's desire not to be separated after whatever had happened with Bishop, he also knew that the small turtle needed to regain the independence he had known prior to the event. Another big worry on Leo's mind was Donnie's refusal to speak. Leo had just exhausted all of his ideas on how to go about helping Donnie in either area. Little did he know that the solution to at least one of those problems would fall into April's lap a couple weeks later.


	23. Chapter 23

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 23**

"April? What's up?" Michelangelo asked with a grin when he answered his Shell Cell. He listened for a moment. "What? Um... I don't know, I mean I'd really have to talk to Raph and Leo. You know that especially with Donnie acting like this that Leo's not so fond of-" Again Mike paused as April cut him off. After another moment, he continued. "Ok, ok, I understand. I'll talk to them." With that Michelangelo hung up the phone and headed out to find his brothers.

Leo looked down. He really had only two options, one of which was to pretty much never see April and Casey again. As much as he disliked the other option, he truly hated that one. The two humans had been such a part of their lives for so long that Leo did not want to think of going back to a life without them. And if April and Casey thought that this would not be a problem then he should probably trust their judgment.

"Ok, Mikey. We'll do it."

* * *

"Hey Ape, what's up?" Raphael asked as he crawled through the window. "You wanted to see us?"

"Hey! Raphy-boy!" Casey greeted.

"Yeah, we've got someone we'd like you to meet. Where are Mikey and Leo?"

"They're waiting outside for the heads up. We brought Donnie too." Raph gave a quiet sigh.

"He still won't let go of Leo, huh?" April ventured.

"Well, he's started letting go, but Leo's still got a little shadow most of the time."

"Poor kid," April commented. "Did you guys ever find out what happened to him in there?"

"No, we haven't." Leo replied as he came through the window with Donnie in his arms. Mikey was right behind them. "Hey April, Casey. How have you two been?" He asked once completely inside the apartment.

"Good!" April responded. "A little adjusting has been going on, but I think we're all going to be ok."

"She ain't exactly happy right now." Casey added.

"Hey, you talking about this mystery person, Casey?" Mikey put in.

"Yeah. She's been through a rough time." April agreed. "I should probably go get her." As she left the room, the turtles each found a seat around the living room. Leo picked out a spot on the couch and got Donnie to actually sit down in his lap rather than standing or clinging to his neck or the various other positions the child seemed to prefer. Leo tried yet again to get Donnie to talk, but was still unsuccessful. Though the blue-masked turtle continued to try, his attempts had become half-hearted at best. Most of the time he responded to the gestures and expressions Donnie communicated with now. Over a month had passed since Donnie's experience with Bishop, and the child still refused to speak. He sighed again and Raph sat down next to him.

"He'll come around, Leo. These things take time." Raph whispered. He had been saying the same thing for weeks now, but he had no other idea how to keep Leo's hope that Donnie would talk again alive. At that point April led a girl out into the living room. The tight dark curls made her face look even rounder than it really was.

"Guys, this is my goddaughter, Anna." April introduced them. "Anna, these are some very good friends of ours."

During the introduction Anna just stared at the four turtles, not quite believing her eyes. She backed up quickly and ran into April. When her retreat came across a road block, she darted behind her godmother and hid there, only occasionally poking her head out to see the turtles scattered about the living room.

"Anna, it's ok, they're friends." April assured her. "The one of the floor in orange is Michelangelo, Raphael is on the couch in red. The blue one next to him is Leonardo, and the little purple one is Donatello. They look different, but they're good people, I promise."

A quick tug on April's sweater had her leaning down to listen to something that the girl evidently did not want their guests to hear. April laughed in response to whatever had just been said.

"Yeah, they are, but that doesn't mean that they're bad people. They're the best friends one could ever ask for, but you can never tell anyone about them. We've discussed that."

Anna nodded and took a seat on the chair across from the creatures in the living room. Casey decided that a movie would be a good idea and _Finding Nemo_ soon found its way into the DVD player. When Donnie started to lose interest in the film, Leo pulled a small toy out of his belt and gave it to the young turtle. There were several instances when Leo noticed Anna glancing their direction. As the movie progressed, the glances became more curious than wary.

Donatello lost all interest in the toy and it fell to the floor when Crush and the rest of the sea turtles came on the screen. He bounced in Leo's lap and pointed at the TV.

"Yes, Donnie, they're turtles too." Leo agreed, still hoping to draw the child into a conversation, but Donnie just clapped and watched the movie with rapt attention. When the scene ended, Donnie made a disappointed noise and quickly lost interest again. Leo was searching the floor for the discarded toy when Anna spoke.

"Can't he talk yet?"

Leo found the toy and returned it to his son as he answered Anna's question. "He used to. A few weeks ago he was taken from us for a short while. He hasn't said anything since." Leo sighed.

"Oh." Anna said sadly as she looked at the floor.

"My mommy is gone." She sighed looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Leo responded honestly as Donnie smacked his leg with the toy.

"She got really sick. I never met my dad."

Leo looked up at Anna and noticed how sad and lost she looked. "You're lucky to have people like April and Casey to take care of you now, Anna, but I know that it doesn't make the pain go away."

Anna shook her head sadly. "I miss her."

"Yeah, I know you do." Leo gave her a reassuring smile before Donnie made a small noise and smacked his leg again, drawing Leo's attention. The small turtle held up a completed Rubik's cube. A Rubik's cube that Leo was going to have to take away if Donnie didn't stop hitting him with it's corners.

"Whoa, he can do those things?" Anna asked in surprise.

"He's been doing that puzzle since we found it." Mikey laughed from the floor.

"Want me to mess this up again?" Leo asked. When Donnie nodded, he almost started twisting it into a mess, but at the last moment he looked up at Anna. "You want to do it?"

Anna gave a small grin, and Leo tossed the cube to her. She fumbled, but thanks to Leo's skillful toss, it landed safely in her lap. After a moment she began to twist the cube this way and that returning it to a chaotic state. When she was finished she moved across the room toward Leo. After a small nod from April and Leo she offered it to Donnie who pressed himself against his father's chest and tried to hide there in a 'become one with Daddy's plastron' type tactic.

"Kinda shy, ain't he?" Anna asked sadly.

"Yes, he is." Leo agreed sadly and was just about to accept the cube from her when she spoke to Donnie again.

"You don't need to be afraid of me." She said timidly as she offered the cube again. This time Donnie arched back and reached up to wrap his arms around Leo's neck. Finding the object of his desire, he quickly turned around and buried his face against his daddy in an effort to get away from Anna. She looked down sadly and was about to hand Leo the cube when she noticed Donnie peeking out of his hiding spot. "You want the cube back?" Anna asked gently. When Donnie hid his face again she sighed.

"Keep trying, I think you've almost got him." Leo whispered, sounding hopeful. "Give him a little more time."

Anna nodded and waited for Donnie to get curious about the new person in front of him. "How old is he?"

"He's four." Leo responded as his small son tried to burrow further into his shoulder.

"I'm nine." Anna responded. "Isn't he kinda little for four. Kinda like a lot little?"

"Yes, he is." Leo agreed. He looked down at Donnie and spotted him peeking out at Anna again. With a nod, Leo suggested that Anna try again.

"You want the cube back?" She held it out again for the young turtle. This time Donnie tentatively put a hand out for the item. As soon as Anna put it in his hand, he snapped it back to his chest and hid against Leo again.

"Can you say 'Thank you', Donnie?" Leo asked of the child. "It's very rude not to say thank you." He felt Donnie shake his head, and the elder turtle sighed. "Thank you, Anna."

"You're welcome." Anna responded as she gave the older turtle a small smile. Maybe April was right. They somehow seemed less weird and scary to her than they had at the beginning of the movie.

"See, Donnie, Anna has very good manners, where are yours?" Leo asked of the child who just forced his way deeper into his father's shoulder.

Anna gave Donnie a half smile then sat on the floor in front of the couch and turned back to the movie. Mikey offered her some popcorn and by the time the movie ended, she was just beginning to get to know this strange family. Donnie had completed the puzzle again and fell asleep in Leo's arms shortly before Nemo's reunion with his father. Just before the turtles left April's apartment, Anna messed up the puzzle for next time.

* * *

"Yeah, I guess they're nice." Anna almost reluctantly admitted to April that night as she was getting tucked into bed.

"Yeah, they are." April agreed. "They really are the best friends you could ask for."

"The little one is weird though." Anna added.

"Well, I wish I could give you a reason why, but no one knows. He won't talk about what happened, or anything else for that matter. I know his family would appreciate it if you could try to get him to talk."

"Why me?"

"Well," April reasoned. "You're someone new, and you're closer to his age. He might be willing to open up to you and tell you things that he won't tell anyone else."

"Are they going to come back?" Anna asked.

"Actually, we usually go down to their place for dinner on Thursdays." April informed the girl. "So we'll see them again in a couple of days. And maybe, you can get Donnie to give his dad a break for a while. He might not say much, but you'd be surprised by what he can understand. Maybe you two can help each other." April ruffled Anna's hair and gave the girl a hug before standing to leave the room and turn off the light.

"How can he help me?" Anna asked sadly.

"Well, you never know. Give him a chance, Anna. You might just find he's not so 'weird' after all."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** Ah, here we are again, with another installment of Spirit! There are a couple of time jumps in this chapter so it might help to keep an eye out for those. Other than that! enjoy!****

Disclaimer: If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**  
**

**Chapter 24**

Anna had known the turtles for a bit less than a month. Every time the two families were together, Anna – at Casey and April's prodding more often than not – had made it a point to try to pull the youngest member of the turtle clan aside to play with him. Sometimes he let her, and sometimes he refused to allow her anywhere near him. Other times they would be playing nicely and Donnie would suddenly decide that he wanted nothing to do with her. Anna never once knew what she had done to set the child off. They each found the other frustrating as Anna could not understand when Donnie tried to communicate with her. Everyone else in his family was used to his mannerisms and would respond when he was trying to say something. One day, Donnie had actually made an effort to go play with Anna, but she had shouted at him. He had refused to let her near him since. Leo had refrained from saying anything, but April and Casey had been extremely angry. That had been about a week and a half ago. A decision had been made last week, and today was the first day she had come down to the lair for this reason.

When Anna arrived, Leonardo and Donatello were waiting for her. She was late, and neither turtle looked particularly happy to see her.

"First rule, Anna," Leonardo said crisply by way of greeting, "don't be late."

"But, Leo, I-"

"During this time you will address me as sensei or Master Leonardo, no other names are to be used in the dojo. Also, you will not question what you are told to do, and you will not make excuses. For your tardiness you will run eight laps around the dojo, Anna. Donatello, you will join her." Leo caught a look from his son that clearly showed his disapproval of the idea, after all, he had been on time. "You will be learning together, and you will take punishment together. If one of you goofs off, or is tardy, you both will be punished. Go."

Anna caught a glare from Donnie as he started on his laps, while she stood there dumbstruck.

"If you do not wish to run more than eight laps, I suggest you catch up with him." Leonardo informed the girl. His voice was more gentle now, but it was easy to see that he was not to be trifled with at the moment. Anna began to run.

Anna finished her laps far behind Donatello, not that this was surprising to Leonardo, but Anna had been a little annoyed at 'losing' to a four year old turtle of all things. Weren't turtles supposed to be slow? She was breathing heavily when she finally came to a stop next to Leonardo and Donatello. Donnie kept putting as much distance between her and himself as he could possibly get and Anna realized that her first day here had not helped her relationship with the little boy. April and Casey were not going to be happy about that. She did not really care at the moment though. It was way too early in the morning for this sort of thing. As soon as she had finished running, Leonardo gave them more to do. And he did not let up for the next hour. He had her tumbling mostly, but there was a little bit of punching and blocking technique mixed in there as well. By the end of the lesson she was tired and quite annoyed at the fact that Donnie had done better than she had at everything.

The moment that Leonardo released his two students, Anna was surprised to notice that his demeanor changed entirely. Donnie's did too. The instant that release had been called the tiny turtle had dashed to his father and begged to be picked up. Leonardo obliged the child, tossing him a short distance in the air and making Donnie squeal in delight.

"You did wonderfully today, Anna." Leo said sincerely as he caught his son.

"Yeah right, I did everything wrong." She grumped.

"Far from it," Leo assured her. "For someone who has never done this before, you did very well. Much better than I expected."

Anna still looked unconvinced. "Donnie did everything right."

Leo laughed slightly. "No, he didn't, Anna. He made mistakes as well."

"Not as many as I did."

A small sound of agreement escaped the turtle. "That may be true, Anna, but you have to keep in mind that he has been doing this for over a year now. Today was your first day. Give it a little time, and I'm sure that you can catch up with him or even surpass him"

Anna gave Leo a strange look.

"In the long run, your age will put you behind, but this early on, your coordination is naturally better than that of a four year old. If you are a serious student of the art then I believe you can become a very good ninja." Leo explained. "Donnie is a reluctant student at best, and while I do hope that changes as he gets older, it may be to your advantage for the time being. Now, I believe April is waiting for you. You have school today, do you not?"

Anna had almost forgotten, and she raced out of the lair feeling a little better than she had immediately after the session. She did not feel good about her first day, but she felt better after the short talk with Leonardo. Another happy squeal from Donnie reached her ears as she took the elevator to the surface to meet April, who was waiting for her in the car.

* * *

The next morning, Anna was careful to be up on time and ready to go. She was not about to be late, and she found that arriving on time made her life much easier. The exercises Sensei assigned were much easier if she had not already run those laps around the dojo. She still made more mistakes than she would have liked, and Donnie still did better than she did, but she felt much better about the second lesson than she had the first.

Leonardo kept a close eye on Anna and Donnie as they made their way through their ninjitsu lessons in the following days. A couple of times, he had even caught Donnie correcting her by accentuating and sharpening his own movements, and he noticed that the small turtle was slowly beginning to open up to the human. He only hoped that Anna, another child, could break the wall that no one had yet been able to breach.

* * *

Anna had been coming for ninjitsu lessons every morning for almost a two weeks and the turtles had come up to April and Casey's place for dinner. The children were playing in the living room while the adults were talking in the kitchen and helping out where they could.

The two children were putting together a puzzle on the floor and had been sitting there in a seemingly, one-sided conversation. Anna was telling Donnie about some of her school friends. She was frustrating the young turtle to no end in the process.

Anna could tell that Donnie was getting upset, but she had no idea why. He wanted something, that much she knew, but she had no clue what it could possibly be. That happened a lot with him. Generally, Anna just kept telling her story hoping that he would just calm down on his own. Sometimes he did, and sometimes he got angry and left.

"S-chool?" An extremely tentative and slightly hoarse little voice asked.

But he _never_ did that. Anna stared at the small turtle next to her, causing Donnie to think he had done something wrong, and he grew rather concerned. He looked away and started to get up.

"No. Wait, Donnie." Anna called out, causing the turtle to turn toward her briefly.

"School is where you go to learn stuff."

Donnie just blinked at the new information. He had never gone anywhere special to learn anything and the concept was foreign to him.

"I go to a place with a bunch of other kids and we learn things like math and reading. Do you know how to read?"

Donnie nodded, but said nothing.

"You do?"

Again the small turtle nodded.

"You read, but you can't talk?" Anna asked in disbelief.

"C-can!" Donnie responded indignantly. Again his voice sounded strange, even in his own ears.

"So you _can_ talk, and you just don't?"

Donnie nodded again and seemed to shrink into himself after his little outburst a moment ago.

"Why not?" Anna asked, and almost immediately regretted it when Donnie turned away and covered one small elbow with his hand. A moment later the little turtle raced to the kitchen and threw himself around Leo's leg.

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" Leo asked, noticing the unshed tears in Donnie's eyes. He was not expecting an answer. Donnie leaned back a little and showed his elbow to Leo; the one that had once borne the puncture wounds from his time with Bishop. It had become rarer as time had passed, but Donnie would still favor the arm from time to time.

"B- ad"

Leo stared at his child. "What?" By now the rest of the adults were also staring and Anna had come into the room as well.

"He asked me what school was." Anna said, explaining what she could. "Then he told me that he can talk, and when I asked why he didn't he ran in here."

"Then he said bad to me." Leo added as he knelt down and looked at Donnie's elbow. Nothing appeared to be wrong, but it did seem that the joint was bothering the child. What Leo could not know was whether the problem was physical or psychological.

Leonardo pulled his son close then picked him up. "Come on, baby." Leo prodded. "What's bad?"

Donnie continued to stare at his elbow, and Leo got no response to his question. None had been entirely expected, but he had hoped to get one all the same.

"Donnie," Leo spoke in a tone that demanded the child's attention. Attention that was given reluctantly. "Come on, baby, what's bad?"

"M-me." The small turtle finally admitted before curling tightly into his father's arms.

Leo sighed and pulled Donnie a little closer. It was still going to be a long hard road before the child recovered from his time with Bishop, but at least Leo could see a path to follow now. He gave Anna a quick smile of thanks and began to rock his small son.

"You're not bad, Donnie, you never were." Leo insisted. He said the words and sincerely meant them, but he was not sure that it would be enough to convince his child of the truth behind them. There was still a long way to go, but along with the thrill of hearing Donnie's voice again, Leo knew that this was a huge step in the right direction.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

**A/N:** I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I made a promise to get up a chapter before I leave town for the week and lose Internet access and don't have time to get out individual responses tonight, for that I apologize.

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Donatello had his good days and his bad days, though Leonardo was pleased to see that the good days were becoming more common. After Anna had finally gotten Donnie to speak, Leo had realized Anna's inability to understand Donnie's gestures and facial expressions had been the very thing that had forced the child to talk. Leo had since asked April, Casey and his brothers to avoid responding to those expressions and gestures, and that rule seemed to be working. While the young turtle was far from talkative, he would speak when spoken to. On a couple of occasions, he had even instigated a brief conversation. With each passing day, Leo could see a little more of the child he had known before Bishop's intervention re-emerging in Donnie.

At the moment, Raphael and Michelangelo were playing with their nephew and a large box while Leo was resting upstairs. Donnie was sitting on top of the box that was playing the part of a dog sled at the moment, and Mikey was the dog. Raph was more standing back and laughing than anything else.

"That's a good job for you, Mikey." The red-masked turtle chuckled. Mikey stuck out his tongue in response then turned and swooped down on Donnie, scooping him up off the box and tossing him in the air. Mikey turned the box on its side and put his nephew back on the floor.

"Now it's a cave." The orange-masked turtle told Donnie. "Care for some spelunking?"

Can you say 'spelunking'?" Raph added, trying to draw the child into speaking.

"spe-lun-king?" Donnie sounded out before saying it a little more quickly. "What spelunking?"

"Spelunking is when you explore a cave." Raph explained.

Donnie nodded and crawled into the box then turned around and looked out at his uncles. "Like dis?"

"Exactly like that." Mikey responded brightly. "Why don't you just keep exploring and tell us what you see?"

Donnie looked back at his uncle with 'but it's just a box' written on his face. Mikey and Raph had to fight their natural reaction to respond to the look. It had taken a while, but they had eventually discovered that if allowed to communicate with a look or gesture then Donnie was less likely to speak. The child had gotten away with it for far too long already. The long period of near silence was showing in the child's language skills and pronunciation as well.

"but not'ing in the box." Donnie finally insisted.

"Use your imagination, Squirt." Raph told him.

Donnie nodded hesitantly and turned back around to face the back of the box. He stared at the cardboard wall for a moment, and Raph and Mikey were just starting to wonder about him when he started crawling around inside the box again.

"What do you see?" Mikey prodded after a few moments of silence from his nephew.

"Wocks?" Donnie suggested tentatively.

"Rocks." Raph repeated, emphasizing the letter 'r' for the child. "Any special rocks?"

Donnie just shook his head.

"Is there anything special about the rocks, Donnie?" Raph reiterated pointedly, not letting Donnie get away with shaking his head.

"No."

"Oh come on, Donnie." Mikey complained. "You can do better than that."

"Uh... dey glow?" Donnie tried.

"Ooh, that's cool." Mikey responded brightly, poking his head into the box with Donnie. "What color are they glowing?"

"B'ue?" Donnie tried, earning himself a wry look from Mikey.

"You are _definitely_ Leo's kid." The orange-masked turtle responded. When Donnie just grinned back at him, he tipped the box up so Donnie tumbled the bottom.

"NO!" Donnie shrieked at the top of his lungs as he tried to scramble out of the box. Before he even finished his scream, Mikey found himself pushed aside by his blue-masked brother who had been upstairs only a moment ago. Leo lifted his young, sobbing son from the bottom of the box and began trying to quiet him.

"What were you _thinking_, Mikey!" Raph demanded of his orange-masked brother over Donnie's crying. "You just put him in a cage!"

"I-" Mikey started, but he did not have an answer. It had never occurred to him that the box would seem like a cage to his nephew. "I didn't... I didn't think he'd react like that." He eventually stuttered.

"Shh..." Leo soothed as he held Donnie close to his chest and rocked him gently. "You're ok now. You're fine. You're safe now, baby." He then gave Mikey a disappointed look and wondered how far this would set Donnie back. The child's sobs quieted to soft whimpering and Donnie snuggled against Leo's chest. Leo actually found himself grateful that Donnie had screamed like he had. A few weeks ago the young turtle would not have.

"Daddy?" Donnie asked in a small voice.

"Yes, baby. I'm here." Leo said. He emphasized the statement by planting a gentle kiss on the top of Donnie's head.

The young turtle then nodded and nuzzled his beak into his daddy's shoulder, assured that he was safe for now.

* * *

The incident with the box did indeed set Donnie back a bit. He was very wary of Mikey for the next few weeks and spent less time separated from his daddy. With what he was seeing now, however, Leo wondered if the whole thing had actually been for the best.

It was a Saturday morning, and after their morning training session, Anna had stayed to spend the day with the turtles. The morning cartoons had just ended and Anna had talked Donnie into a game of hide and seek. Now, she was the seeker and Donnie had hidden.

From where Leo sat reading, he could see his son perched on a pipe and tucked right between a corner and a bulkhead. It was the sort of place that Donnie never would have hidden before Mikey had trapped him. When Donnie caught Leo looking at him the young turtle shooed his daddy's eyes away with a gesture and an annoyed glare for giving away his position. Leo chuckled. Almost as he did so, Anna turned her back and Donnie hopped from his hiding place and ran for home.

"Hey!" Anna cried as the small turtle zipped past her. She turned quickly and gave chase. Both children laughed as their game continued.

Leo watched the pair play as Donnie dove at the base and reached it just before Anna caught him.

"All ye, all ye oxen fwee!" The little turtle shouted.

"You are such a cheater." Anna jokingly pouted.

"Am not!" Donnie insisted with a grin and a giggle. "I win!"

"Oh yeah, you win." Anna replied as she stuck her tongue out at the little turtle. She then gave him a wry look and reached down and started tickling his sensitive sides. Donnie squeaked and tried to escape. It took a while, but Donnie did eventually find a way out.

"You it!" The small turtle shouted as he freed himself from Anna's tickling and ran off, changing the game from hide and seek to tag.

Anna had just chased Donnie out of the main room when April entered the lair. She chuckled as Anna raced out of the room. The laughter of the two children dancing in from another part of the lair.

"They seem to be having a good time." April commented.

"Yeah, they've been running around like crazy since cartoons ended." Leo informed her with a chuckle. "They're going to sleep well tonight."

April also laughed. "Let's hope."

"It's good to see them playing and happy like this." Leo said with a sad smile. "They're both doing really well."

"They are." April agreed. "and Anna is doing better in school than she ever has. I think having Donnie around has been as good for her as she has been for him."

Leo nodded in agreement.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Raphael watched his brother. Leonardo was getting restless and anyone who knew him had noticed. Casey had even commented on it from time to time. From where he stood, Raph had a feeling that his blue-masked brother was getting very close to a snapping point.

"She's after us again, Raph." Leo said absently as he shifted his weight so he was leaning against the door frame.

"I know." He knew all too well. All three adult turtles had come home from evenings out banged and bruised from fights since the renewed assault by the Foot had begun. Why they had waited this long before coming after the turtles again was anyone's guess, but that did not change the fact that Leo and his family were once again under siege by the Foot. For so long they had thought the Foot finished with them only to find themselves in the middle of a renewed war.

"This won't end until I face her."

"Will it really end even then?" Raph questioned. "You know them, Leo. The snake always has another head."

Leo nodded absently. "Another head, a weaker head. A head we can deal with."

"You sure about that one?"

No response.

"He deserves better, Raph." Leo said after a very long moment. Never once did he turn to face his brother. He was focused on his son at the moment.

"But he wants you around. At least let me watch your back." The red-masked turtle protested.

Leonardo shook his head sadly. "I can't. Not this time. This time, I have to go alone. Me and her, Raph, that's how it has to be."

"Just so long as you're the one to walk away."

Again, there was no response.

"Leo?"

"You know as well as anyone that I can't guarantee that." Came the reluctant response. "I wish I could, but I can't.

"He needs you, bro. He needs you more than anything in the world."

"I trust you, Raph. You and Mikey." Leonardo responded in a distant tone.

"Don't say that, Leo. Don't you dare say that. Don't you even think that!" Raph could feel his blood pressure starting to rise.

For the first time during the whole conversation, Leonardo turned to face Raphael. "Her skills have improved."

"So have yours."

"Marginally," Leo responded with a shake of his head. "I want the three of you to go. Leave town. Maybe go up to the farmhouse for a while. He likes it up there." Leo said as he turned back to the bedroom in front of him and the sleeping turtle therein.

"He likes it wherever you are, bro."

"Then this time, he's not going to get what he likes." Leo said sadly, never taking his eyes off of his resting son. A violent cough followed by a small moan informed him that the latest bug Donnie had caught was still in his system and making him miserable.

"This is something I need to do." The blue-masked turtle continued.

"He's not going to understand." The one in red countered.

"I don't expect him to."

Raphael shook his head in frustration, but he recognized his brother's demeanor and tone. He was about to speak but Leo was not done yet.

"Maybe someday he will, but I pray he never truly does. If it comes to that, Raph... promise me that you'll do what you can to keep him from understanding?" Leo asked.

"You know I can't promise that, Leo."

Leonardo turned to face Raph, a pleading expression on his face. "Raph, Raphael, please. Please promise me. Promise me that if I don't come back that you'll do what you can to keep him safe, keep him from understanding this... this war, this life... this hell. Take him away. Far away. I don't care where you go. Away from Karai and this city. Away from Bish-"

"I know, I saw him too." Raphael admitted reluctantly, remembering the evening two nights ago when he thought he was seeing a ghost, only to later realize that it had been far too alive.. "Leo, I-"

"Promise me. You're... you're great with him, Raph. He loves both you and Mikey. I trust you, both of you, but- Mikey's not here, and there's not much... Raphael, promise me." Leo placed his hands on his brother's shoulders and pleaded with his words and his eyes. "Promise me."

"I promise." The red-masked turtle heard himself say. _No! Wait! Leo, you can't do this!_ Were the words that flashed through his head.

"Thank you." Leo responded, easily seeing Raphael's internal monologue in his eyes, and taking note of it before continuing his plan. Donatello coughed again and drew his attention.

Leonardo moved into his young son's room and gently shook a small, olive-green shoulder. "Donnie? Donnie, wake up." The blue-masked terrapin called gently.

Two small coughs met Leo's ears and his heart broke. What was he doing? He was needed here. He needed to make sure his son got well again, and yet... Leo looked back to Raph, someone that he trusted, even with something as important as Donnie's health and safety. Two large, sleepy, chocolate eyes met his own.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, baby, it's me." Leo said gently as he pulled his son into a tight embrace. "It's me." He relished the feeling when Donnie returned the hug and Leo lingered, letting the moment stretch out. In the end, it had been Donnie to back away slightly.

"Daddy? What w'ong?" The young turtle asked carefully. While he did not know what was wrong, it was easy for the child to sense that something was from Leo's behavior.

Leo kissed the boy on top of the head. "Well, baby," He started. "Daddy needs you to go with Uncle Raph and Uncle Mikey. And Daddy needs you to be very, very good for them."

"You not come?" Donnie asked in a small voice.

"Daddy has some things that he needs to take care of here. Some things that he needs to do all by himself and no one can help him. Now matter how much he might want them to."

Donnie just frowned, not understanding what he was being told. Leo pulling him into another tight hug and the smothering affection frightened the young turtle, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Daddy?"

"Shh..." Leo said softly, kissing the child's head once again. "I love you, Donnie. I love you more than anything in the world, and I wish I didn't have to do this, but I have no choice."

"I love you too." Donnie responded, sounding concerned.

Leo hugged the confused and frightened boy more tightly.

"Daddy?"

Despite a valiant effort, Leo felt a tear escape his eye and he wiped it away before it could soak into his mask.

"I need you to go with Uncle Raph and Uncle Mikey now, baby." Leo said firmly as he bundled Donnie up in warm clothing. "They will take very good care of you, I promise."

"Daddy?"

"Shh..." Leo said, giving his son what might easily be his last tight hug. With a gentle kiss to Donnie's forehead, Leo handed the child to Raphael.

"Daddy!" Donnie called in dismay at being handed to Raph, the fact that Leo was really leaving finally sinking in.

"You don't have to do this, Leo. We can all go, leave town, start a new life somewhere else." Raphael insisted. The tears glowing in his nephew's eyes were not lost on him.

"No, Raph." Leonardo responded flatly. "This is something I need to do. Go, you don't have much time."

"What?"

"Go, Raph. Mikey is at April's framing some of his art. Get him and get out of town. If you don't hear from me within a week..." Leo trailed off, knowing that his brother would understand, and hoping that his son would not.

"Don't think like that, Leo!"

"Take him and go, Raph. Before it's too late. Go on. Go!"

Something in Leonardo's voice, made Raphael jump to obey. It was a tone he seldom heard, but had long since learned to listen to. Raph held Donnie close to his chest and ran to the warehouse. Moments later, the Battle Shell screeched out into the streets. One stop later, it raced for the city limits, desperately fleeing a ticking bomb.

Leonardo pulled a single sword from its sheath. He stared at his reflection in the flawless metal for a long moment before closing his eyes. A perimeter alarm – one Don had installed so long ago now that it seemed a lifetime – pierced the silence surrounding him in the lair, and the blue-masked turtle made a near silent appeal to the only ones he could think of asking: one human and one mutant rat.

"Help me, Masters. Just one more time."


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

Raphael was getting frustrated. Not that it was anything new, but he felt stifled here in the farmhouse. No matter what happened in the next several hours they would have to leave here at the end of that time. He had discussed options with Mikey while Donnie had been sleeping and down for naps over the past few days, and their time here was drawing to a close. Day seven had begun since they had left, nay, fled New York City. Their time was almost up and nerves were running high.

Earlier in the day, Raphael's temper had led to the destruction of the VCR in the farmhouse, and now he was correcting that lack of sound judgment. He could not leave it broken for April and Casey to find next time they arrived at the refuge. A pair of small hands landed on the worktable next to him, and floppy, purple sleeves draped off of the ledge next to them.

"What do you think, squirt?" Raph asked with a small smile as he watched his nephew peer in fascination at the VCR's innards. "Can we fix it?"

Donnie looked up at his uncle with a grin that had become all too rare over the past week and followed that with an even rarer giggle. Unfortunately for the child, the giggle had dissolved into a coughing fit. Raphael gently pulled the boy into the safety of his arms until the fit subsided. Donnie whimpered softly after the coughing relented.

"Shh, I know. I'm sorry, squirt. I can't do anything else to help you." Raph apologized as he hugged his nephew. Even as he did so, he sighed. Donnie's cough was getting worse by the day, not better. The child seemed to be struggling for breath at times too. Raph and Mikey had tried a couple of different medicines for Donnie and they were all practically useless. After a few moments that seemed to last for hours to Raphael, Donnie looked at the VCR again.

"You wanna help me with this?" Raph asked the young boy he held. This was one of the rare occasions that he accepted the nod he got in response.

Michelangelo entered the house after a long walk. His frustrations did not usually manifest themselves in anger the way Raph's tended to, but that did not mean that he was immune to the feeling. Quite the contrary. And Mikey had never felt more frustrated in his life than he had before his walk. The activity had done little to release his emotions, but it was all he had at the moment, and it had helped in what small way it could. Seeing Donnie awake and apparently 'helping' Raph fix the VCR made him smile for the first time in a week. It was a wane smile, but a smile nonetheless. The orange-masked turtle almost laughed when Donnie smacked Raph's hand and pointed to something inside the VCR. With Raphael's reaction to the child, Mikey realized that Donnie might have been more of a help than he had first thought. Even at his tender age, the turtle in purple still had a knack for electronics.

Raphael plugged in the box and slipped a tape inside. When the tape was accepted, he started sending the device through a few paces. Though he could not see the output on a TV just yet, the unit seemed to be functional. While this was going on, Donatello curled up in his lap and fell asleep again. His illness was getting the better of him, at least for now.

"Want me to take him back to his bed?" Mikey asked when Raph scooted away from the table.

"Yeah, I want to do a quick patrol of the area." Raph responded as he gently lifted the child from his lap and handed the sleeping boy to Mikey.

"How big of an area?" Michelangelo asked suspiciously. He knew that tone his brother was using. "Leo told you not to go back."

"What if he's hurt, Mikey?!" Raph demanded, letting his voice raise despite himself.

Donnie moaned in Mikey's arms, winced then shifted in search of a more comfortable position. Both adult turtles remained completely silent until the child drifted off again.

"Raph, if Leo-" Mikey cut himself off, unable to complete the comment that had drifted across his thoughts. The look on his face more than finished it for him.

Anger that had been building pressure all week reached a breaking point and Raph was just about to go off on Mikey when the orange-masked turtle spoke again.

"If anything happens to you," Mikey started carefully while staring down at his young nephew, "What happens to Donnie? What happens to me? I don't like it anymore than you do. I don't! But Raph, what would Leo want you to do? What does the clan, what's left of us, need you to do?"

Instead of boiling over, Raphael glared at the floor in frustration. Mikey's words had hit home. He knew what he needed to do, but it conflicted with everything he wanted to do. Donnie coughed and snuggled restlessly against Mikey's plastron, seeking what little comfort he could find in his uncle's arms. Raphael watched then sighed. His mind had been made up for him, no matter how much he hated it.

"Five mile radius, max." Raph promised as he headed for the door.

Mikey nodded sadly as his brother left the house. "Thanks, bro." He said quietly once the red-masked turtle was gone. Another whimper from his disease ravaged nephew drew his attention downward.

"Come on, pipsqueak. Let's get you in bed." Michelangelo held the child close. For whatever reason he glanced toward the fireplace and the chair that still sat in front of it. A healthy flame burned in the hearth – Raphael had apparently kept it up while he had been away – and Mikey changed his mind. He grabbed a blanket and sat down.

"I know I'm not the one you want right now, but this place helped you once before." Mikey commented sadly to the sleeping, little mutant in his arms as he got situated in the chair.

* * *

Raphael was not back yet, and Michelangelo was watching the hours tick away. They were running out of time here and it was making both himself and Raphael more than nervous. Neither one of them had heard from Leonardo, and both of them knew what that meant.

"Daddy!" Donnie screamed suddenly, snapping himself awake. The scream resulted in a heavy coughing fit that wracked the boy's body. Either the fit or the source of the scream caused the child to start crying, the cries only causing him to cough more.

"Donnie, shh..." Mikey begged as he lifted his nephew from his lap and cuddled him close to his chest.. "Shh, it's ok, you're ok."

"Daddy," Donnie whimpered again. "Daddy!"

"Shh... Donnie, you're ok, everything is going to be fine." Mikey promised in an attempt to calm the young boy, though the words sounded hollow in his own ears. This outburst was terribly concerning, especially given the child's unique history. "Come on, Donnie, talk to me. What happened?"

But Donatello was too upset to respond. Every time he tried, he was overwhelmed either by his own crying or the coughing it provoked. Three attempts yielded the same result before Mikey stepped in and did what little he could to try to resolve the situation.

"Ok, ok, shh... Just calm down. You can tell me later." The orange-masked turtle continued his attempts to soothe his nephew's nerves though he was having only limited success. Mikey gently kissed the top of his nephew's head and ran his hand along one small arm in a motion that had helped Donnie in the past. He knew it was not the same thing Leo did to calm the boy, but try as he might, Mikey could not remember what his brother did in these situations.

Donatello's cries had quieted to whimpers and his coughing had diminished slightly by the time Raphael walked back into the house over a half hour later.

"Whoa, what happened here?" Raph asked of his brother.

"He woke up screaming for Leo." Mikey admitted sadly. I haven't been able to calm him down since. He's really just wearing himself out again. He's still tense." The concern in the orange-masked turtle's voice could be heard clearly.

"Why was he screaming for Leo?" Raph asked, sounding scared.

Mikey refrained from the obvious 'because he wants his dad.' answer to the question knowing that was not what Raph had meant. "I don't know, he couldn't tell me."

"Couldn't?" Raph questioned, sounding slightly skeptical amongst the obvious concern. Donnie's recent issues with the spoken word suggested that, with the young turtle, could not speak and would not speak were two very similar things to the outside observer.

"He tried," Mikey responded with a sad shake of his head, "but with the way he was crying and coughing, I'm surprised he could breathe. Now he's just getting too tired to do anything."

Raphael nodded then turned to face the window, his fears and frustrations hidden from the family only by the fact that he kept his back to them.

"Daddy."

Raph turned to face Michelangelo and Donatello again. The emotion in his nephew's sleepy voice had been impossible to place. Whether it was his own hopes or fears or whether it was the actual emotion the child was feeling he could not be sure. Either way, Raph was unsure whether to be elated or terrified after the short word.

Donatello quieted as he dropped into a restless sleep after wearing himself out completely. Mikey sighed and looked from his sleeping nephew to his all too wide awake brother.

"It's time." Raph said simply, looking away from Mikey's eyes and staring at the clock as though willing the hands backward yet knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

Michelangelo wrapped the blanket tightly around his nephew and pulled the now exhausted child close to his chest. Donnie was not well enough to travel at the moment, but they had little choice in the matter. It was time to go. They knew they could not return to the city, but they could not stay here either. Michelangelo and Raphael would have to find a new home for their small family.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Leonardo awoke to what might have been the lingering echoes of a scream. Some part of him insisted that it was and that the voice had been painfully familiar, but in his semi-conscious state, he couldn't place it. Looking up from his prone position on the floor, he immediately recognized where he was.

"No, not here again." He muttered softly as he stood. Last time he had taken the door behind him, but he was quick to notice that the doors were not the same as they had been before. This time there were three, and not one of them was behind him. "Shell..." He muttered to himself.

"That was a very noble thing you did, Leonardo." An unfamiliar voice said. "Risking yourself to save your family. And while it paid off, you now have a choice to make."

"Yeah... I remember." Leo muttered as he turned to see the owner of the voice. It was Master Yoshi. His eyes widened and he immediately bowed to the ninja master. Yoshi chuckled.

You need not bow to me here, Leonardo." The human said with a smile.

"Wait a minute, isn't this supposed to be done by the closest relative?" Leo objected. He could have sworn that Don had mentioned something like that the last time Leo had been here.

"Yes," Hamato Yoshi agreed. "It is supposed to be the closest relative, but I'm afraid that your Master Splinter is occupied with another individual."

That got Leo's attention.

"Someone who has knowledge of him, but little to no knowledge of me."

Leo's eyes widened as he realized who Master Yoshi was talking about. "Donnie..."

Yoshi kept his face expressionless with the exception of his eyes. There, Leo found confirmation of his guess.

"But how?" The blue-masked turtle started. Yoshi did not answer as he was not allowed to. Still Leo was able to put it together. Donnie had been sick before Leo had separated from his family.

"You have some options, Leonardo. Before you lies-"

"new places and things which you cannot imagine." Leo finished, quoting what Don had told him the last time he had been here. He took a step away from the door in front of him.

"You have some lessons to learn in patience." Yoshi scolded.

Leo looked at the ninja master and apologized sheepishly before waiting for what he was being told.

"Before you lies the path you were on." Yoshi explained. "To your left you will find new places and things which you cannot imagine, and on your right... is your son's current location." Yoshi hesitated there, seeing Leo make a move to the right. He knew the end result of Leo choosing the door to the right, but he was not allowed to share that with the turtle. At the last possible moment Leonardo stopped.

Yoshi nodded at the hesitation. "You can help him from any of your destinations. What changes is how."

Leo looked to his left, then his right. "I trust him to make the right decision, and I trust that Master Splinter will give him the guidance he needs." The turtle said, more to himself than to Yoshi.

"In that case, I believe your decision is made." Yoshi stated. "I also believe a lesson has been learned." He smiled at the turtle.

Leo smiled softly, then bowed and dove through the opening in front of him. As he dove, he mentally shouted his son's name, hoping to draw the child back to the living realm.

* * *

"G-g'ampa Sp'inte'?" Donnie asked in shock when he opened his eyes in the dark room and saw who was standing over him. 

"Yes, child." Splinter affirmed as he put a hand on the young turtle's shoulder.

Donnie's shock registered clearly on his face, but he was also happy to see his grandfather again. He ran to the rat and hugged him tightly.

"I see that you are still not much of a talker." Splinter commented.

The turtle smiled sheepishly, eliciting a chuckle from Splinter. "You should really work on that, but that is not why you are here."

Donnie looked around the room, his attention drifting away from Splinter and the guidance he was meant to receive. He seemed a little frightened by the location.

"Donatello." Splinter said firmly, drawing the child's focus back to the task at hand.

"Whe'e Daddy?" Donnie asked in a small voice.

"Your daddy has a decision of his own to make. Just as you must make a decision now."

Donatello frowned and looked up at Splinter.

"There are going to be some lights, do not be afraid of them, child."

Once the young turtle had nodded a door opened in front of the pair. Again Donnie's eyes widened, but he did not run.

"Very good, Donatello." Splinter praised when the boy stood his ground. The rat wrapped a gentle arm around the child. "Through that door you will find new places and things which you cannot imagine."

Donnie cocked his head to the side and looked up at his grandfather as Splinter spoke.

"There is going to be another light." Splinter warned, before the second door opened behind them. "Behind you, lies that with which you are familiar."

Donnie looked back at the second door. "But whe'e Daddy?" The child asked, looking up at his grandfather.

"That is up to him." Splinter explained gently.

The child frowned. Donnie suddenly heard his name and turned quickly to look behind him.

"I do believe that your father has made his decision." Splinter smiled.

The young turtle stood up and looked at the door that had been behind him.

"Donatello," Splinter said in a slightly warning tone. "_behind you_ lies that with which you are familiar."

The young turtle blinked a couple of times before moving to the other door and giving Splinter a questioning glance.

"_behind you_ lies that with which you are familiar." Splinter repeated.

Donatello took a single step backward, then another and another before crossing the threshold.

* * *

"Raph! He's awake!" Mikey called in relief. Raph raced over and was next to Mikey in an instant. 

Donnie blinked groggily up at his uncles and started shivering.

"You really scared us that time, pipsqueak." Mikey said to the child as he hugged Donnie tightly. "We've got to find somewhere to stop, Raph." The orange-masked turtle continued as he hugged his little nephew. "Or we are really going to lose him."

Donnie coughed weakly and snuggled against his uncle. Mikey looked down and wrapped the blanket more tightly around the child and pulled him close again.

"Look around, Mike." Raph chastised. "There's nowhere to hide here."

Mikey sighed and looked down at Donnie. The child looked groggy and out of sorts. "Think you can hold on for us, little guy?"

Donatello coughed.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, pipsqueak." Mikey apologized as he gave his small nephew a tight hug. "We'll find somewhere to stop soon."

"Daddy?" Donnie asked hopefully.

Michelangelo's breath caught in his throat and tears welled in his eyes. Leo had said a week, and it had been almost ten days. "I'm sorry, Donnie. I'm so sorry."

Raph glanced at his passengers. It might not be right away, but the Foot would pay for this. That much he promised himself and his clan.

* * *

Leonardo woke up in a sewer tunnel, half covered in water. When he struggled to sit up a moment later, he realized that he was lucky he had not drowned. In fact, sitting up at that moment, had been one of the most difficult challenges Leonardo had ever had to face. He felt winded and a little woozy. What he did know was that he needed to find out how long he had been out, and he needed to find some way to contact his family. Digging through his pockets, he quickly discovered that his shell cell had been smashed beyond repair. Right now, his best bet was April. Leo forced himself up and struggled to stand. He nearly dropped to the tunnel floor, but managed to get to his feet and lean heavily against the wall. 

"No one said it was going to be easy." He muttered to himself as he started the painful and slow trek to April's place.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

******Chapter 29**

"April?"

"Oh, Leo! What happened to you?" The woman rushed forward and caught the turtle standing in the doorway moments before his legs gave out beneath him.

Inexplicably the blue-masked turtle started laughing. April called his name several times, trying to get him to stop and explain what had happened, but it was to no avail. He continued laughing in an almost frantic way. It was only after he had finished and worn himself out again that he turned to April again and spoke, still with the occasional giggle.

"She's gone. The Foot-" Leo was forced by his exhausted and injured body to pause in his story telling. "is gone. They'll never bother us again." Leo returned to his laughing, though with less gusto than before.

"Leo? What did you do?"

"I killed them." Leo said, still with that slightly maniacal laugh. "I killed them _all_." And with that, the blue masked turtle passed out.

"Oh, Leo." April lamented sadly. Her friend seemed to have destroyed his mind along with the Foot. "What have you done?" She called for Casey who came running in from the other room.

"Holy-"

"Help me with him." April begged before Casey could finish the phrase he had started. Casey immediately hurried forward to do as April asked.

"He's in really bad shape." Casey commented as he moved the nearly unconscious turtle to the couch.

"I know," April sighed. "I know." Fear slipped into her mind and voice. "Where do you suppose the others are?"

Casey frowned. Neither of them had heard from any of the turtles in over a week now. And for Leo to show up again like this. Casey did not even want to think of what might have become of their other friends.

"April? Casey?" Anna asked from the hallway in a small voice. She did not know what had happened, but she had heard the commotion in the living room. Casey immediately looked up at her then toward April. He stood, leaving Leo in April's careful hands.

"Come on, Anna." With that, Casey went to keep Anna out of the room for the time being. He couldn't tell her anything, because he didn't know anything.

April turned her attention back to the injured turtle. Some time later, she noticed him coming around again.

"Leo? Where are the others?" She asked carefully, not entirely sure she really wanted the answer.

Again, Leo started with that strange laughing.

"They're gone." He chuckled. "I sent them away. They're safe now. The Foot's gone too. Never get them."

April frowned as Leonardo continued rambling. Half the time she was uncertain whether it was the Foot or his family that he was talking about. She hurried to the bathroom for some disinfectant and bandages. There were several infected cuts on Leo's form and he seemed warm to the touch. She wondered if that was contributing to his mental state.

The blue-masked turtle was still talking when April returned with the bandages and medication. She sighed and got to work. Casey came in and looked over her shoulder.

"Anna's in her room."

April nodded in response and kept working.

"How do you think the others are?"

"Leo seems to think they've left town. You might want to try calling Raph." She responded as she worked. "Try his shell cell, and maybe the farmhouse if that doesn't work."

Casey nodded and went to do just that.

* * *

Raphael cursed as he looked at the broken shell cell. Mikey's had disappeared somewhere along the way and his was non-functional.. Some part of Raph's mind vaguely wondered how long it had been broken. If Leo had tried to contact him, he would not have been able to get through to the shell cell. Though the phone at the farmhouse had been working, and Leo had known that the farmhouse had been their first port of call. 

"We need to get back on the road, Mikey." The red-masked turtle called to his brother. "How's Donnie doing?"

Michelangelo sighed. "Still won't eat." He responded as he tried again to get Donnie to eat part of a sandwich. The child coughed and pushed the food away. "Donnie, you have to eat something." Mikey insisted.

"No." The young purple masked turtle objected, once again pushing away the sandwich. "not feel good."

"That's why you need to eat, kiddo." Raph scolded as gently as he could. "So you can feel better."

"No! No like." Several bats at the sandwich resulted in Mikey dropping the food on the ground.

The two adult turtles sighed. Raph's covered a quiet "Dammit, Donnie." With the state of the ground around them, Donnie had won this round. They would have to settle for the juice they had gotten into their young nephew.

"Want Daddy." The child complained as he dropped his head sleepily against Mikey's plastron.

"Yeah," Mikey agreed sadly. "We all want your daddy back."

When Donnie started coughing again, Mikey pulled him close and tucked the blanket around him tightly.

"We have _got_ to find a place to stop, Raph. This traveling is doing him no good."

Raph sighed. They had decided that for the time being, it was probably better to go with a rural setting. At least until he and Mikey got a better handle on the area.

"Alright," the red-masked turtle agreed, "we'll keep an eye out for an abandoned house or something."

Mikey nodded and turned back to his nephew who had fallen asleep in his arms.

Raph glanced at the broken shell cell again. It would have to wait. There was nothing to do now, but get back on the road. He'd have to try to find some replacement parts for the small device later. Once Mikey and Donnie were settled in the back of the rig, Raph started the Battle Shell and pulled back out onto the small highway.

* * *

"They're not answering." Casey quietly told April, hoping to have spoken quietly enough not to upset Leo who was semi-delirious on the couch. 

April fought back tears. Leo said that he had sent the others away, but either way, she found herself facing the very real possibility that she would never see Raph, Mikey or Donnie again. If Leo did manage to pull through this, she did not even want to think about what their absence would do to him.

"We'll just have to keep trying." April said carefully, willing her voice not to crack. "Maybe they just couldn't hear it."

"Or maybe they'll call us." Casey said, sounding just as unconvinced as April did.

"Maybe." She echoed as she watched the turtle on the couch. Leo had dropped into a deep sleep, and that was probably the best thing in the world for him at the moment. She just hoped that they had a little more information about his family for him when he woke up. While she hoped that rest would relieve the delirium Leo had obviously been experiencing upon his arrival, April couldn't help but think that it might buy her and Casey a little time to find out what had happened to the others without Leo worrying.

"Maybe we should get him out of the city. Take him up to the farmhouse?" Casey suggested of their injured guest.

April frowned. If Leo was correct and the others had truly left town then maybe that would be the best thing for all of them. "We should wait a little before we move him. I don't want to make his injuries worse."

Casey looked over at the blue-clad mutant. Leo was definitely in sorry shape. He nodded in agreement. "We can always go up there later. Maybe when he's feelin' a bit better?"

He slipped his arms around April's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. April in turn, leaned her head against Casey's, taking comfort in the man's presence. She couldn't stop her mind from drifting to Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello. They could be anywhere by now, and right now the only clue to their location was in no shape to give any information.

"I hope they're ok." April commented softly.

"I'm sure they are." Casey responded, trying to sound more confident than he felt.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: **Jessiy Landroz did a little poking over IM the other day so thank her for this update today! LOL! Because I feel kind of cruddy at the moment. Still, it has been a while since any stories got a little updating, and it is time for one. Hopefully I'll get to individual review responses for the last chapter tomorrow. I'm going to bed now. Italics are thoughts or flashback. I think you'll be able to tell the two apart!

* * *

**Chapter 30**

It was times like these that Raphael missed having Don around. He had become the handyman around the lair since Donnie had come into their lives, but Raph knew that his own skills were nothing compared to what his brother had been capable of. The shell cell still did not work. He had tried a couple of times to get to a pay phone to at least contact April and Casey and tell them where they were, but each attempt had been thwarted. Pay phones were, as a rule, in public places, and he had yet to find one that he felt comfortable approaching. The call would have to wait. Raph turned his attention to his little, sweatshirt-clad helper.

"We're still missing parts, aren't we." He said as he ruffled his nephew's bandanna. Donnie looked up at Raph and nodded in agreement before leaning against his uncle and yawning.

"And it's past time for your nap, isn't it?" Raph asked, this time expecting a response. Donnie did not disappoint.

"No nap!"

Raph picked the boy up. "You're yawning." He pointed out as Donnie's mouth opened in another yawn.

"No nap! Want Daddy!" Donnie shouted and started struggling against Raph.

The red-masked turtle hesitated before letting Donnie down. Raph was sure he'd find him asleep somewhere weird within the next ten minutes. Once the child had raced out of the room, Raphael sighed and rubbed his beak.

"You don't know how to tell him either, do you?" Mikey asked.

"I ain't convinced yet, Mike!" Raph hissed at his brother. "I ain't convinced he's-"

"Dead?" Mikey finished for him. "Look, Raph... it's been almost three weeks and you're the one who-"

Raph glared at his brother and Michelangelo shut up. He rolled his eyes at his brother, but deep down he was no more willing to admit that Leo was gone than Raph was.

* * *

"I've tried everyday since you got here, Leo." April asserted.

"I know." The blue-masked turtle responded without turning away from the window and the city beyond.

"You don't even know where they went." April objected.

Leonardo shook his head. "Then I'll just have to find them."

"But you ain't in no condition to-" Casey objected before being cut off by Leo who had turned around and fixed him with a hard look.

"I may not be top form." Leo admitted as he turned back toward the window. "But I am well enough to travel."

"By yourself?" April asked hesitantly.

"We'll come with ya. We can help ya, Leo." Casey offered, more loudly than was really necessary, but Leonardo shook his head.

"You have lives here. Jobs that you need to keep. If-" Leo paused to correct himself. "When I find them, we'll come back." He cringed as a residual pain shot through his body.

"Leo, just wait a couple more days." April pleaded.

"No. It is time for me to go." The blue-masked turtle responded. "Thank you for everything. Without you, that infection would have been the end of me."

"Leo, ya spent three days talkin' gibberish."

"I am aware of that, Casey," the blue-masked turtle responded as he pulled on his sword sheathes, completing his normal attire, "but that is in the past now, and I need to return to my family."

April sighed and picked up a prescription bottle from the table. The actual prescription for the antibiotics inside had been forged.

"Three a day, with food." The woman reminded her patient.

"Thanks, April." Leo said sincerely. "Really. I owe you one." He finished with a small smile.

"You don't owe us anything." April objected, earning a small smile and a hug from Leo.

"Uncle Leo?" A small voice asked from the hallway.

Leonardo actually started, Anna had never referred to him as 'Uncle Leo' before. Additionally, never in his life had he ever expected to be called by that particular name. He turned around to face Anna, who stood at the end of the hallway with a teddy bear in her arms. Though he hadn't expected the name, if that was what Anna wanted to call him, he was not going to object. Leo walked over to the girl and knelt down to be closer to her level. His back rebelled against the movement, but he pushed the pain aside.

"Are you really leaving too?" Anna asked with tears in her eyes that had not yet spilled to her cheeks. Since meeting the turtles, she had become rather fond of them. Now, like so many others, they were all leaving.

"Only for a while. I need to go find my family," the turtle explained, "then we'll all be back."

Anna seemed to consider that for a moment before speaking again. "Promise?"

Leo paused for a moment. "Yeah, I promise."

Anna watched Leonardo's face for a long moment before nodding, almost as though giving her approval for him to take this trip. "Ok."

Leo smiled sadly and ruffled her hair. "I'll be back, Anna. And I'll bring the others with me."

Anna looked down at her bear for a moment then pushed it into Leo's arms. "Here." She said firmly. She was getting too old for stuffed animals anyway.

Leo was about to object when the girl continued.

"This way you won't forget, and have to come back."

The turtle glanced over at April and Casey for a moment to see their reactions before turning back to the girl they were now raising. "Alright." Leo agreed as he accepted the bear. "He'll be safe with me." He stated as he tucked the stuffie into his belt next to the pocket with the pills. Anna then stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Leo chucked slightly as he returned the gesture. He then stood and returned to April and Casey at the window.

"At least wait until morning." April suggested.

"No, I can travel faster at night." Leo replied.

"You don't even know where to look!" Came Casey's last ditch effort to keep Leo there.

"I have a few ideas." With only a quick wave, Leonardo disappeared out the window and up the fire escape.

"Think we'll ever see him again?" Casey asked April almost silently, hoping that Anna couldn't hear the question.

"I don't know." April responded in an equally soft voice. "I just don't know."

* * *

Leonardo stood on the roof, the city of New York stretching before him under the deep blue night sky. A light breeze kicked his bandanna into a gentle dance. He closed his eyes.

_Where would you go, Raph? Philly? Maybe, it's a city, it's close. No, not if Donnie was sick. Last winter you mentioned..._

Leonardo looked to the south.

_That's where you would have gone._

Before he could leave, there was one stop that Leo needed to make. He needed a disguise and he needed transportation. The only problem was that in order to get to those two things, he would need to return to the lair. With a determined nod, Leonardo set out across the city's rooftops.

He could avoid the sewers completely, though that was where he felt more at home. Still, even home could make for haunting travel.

_Leonardo raced through the tunnels. He was far from home now, and he hoped that he could keep it that way. The Foot had been getting close to the lair, but he was certain that his presence here had drawn them away from his family's home._

_Behind him, he could sense foot ninja. Their near silent steps reverberated through the sewers to Leo's well trained ears. They were getting close, but this was not their turf, and Leo planned to use that to his advantage. Not far from the lair he and his brothers had grown up in before being forced to move when the mousers caused a partial cave in, Leo knew this section of the tunnel network beneath New York well enough to navigate them blindly as easily as he could perform the first kata he had ever learned. Slipping into a small space, the turtle waited._

_Leo moved silently and swiftly, he had dropped into a state he seldom reached. His body seemed to move almost without instruction, seeming to know by instinct where it needed to be at all times. Some part of him sensed his movements, sensed each time his blade met flesh, kept track of every body that went down. Another part of him pushed that knowledge aside and forged ahead, knowing that if he didn't then he would be the next to fall. All the while, his body fought. Every training session, every moment in the dojo, every instant of every fight, for Leonardo, all came down to this._

Snapping from his thoughts, Leonardo found himself still on the rooftop he had been on moments ago. Forcing himself to focus he leapt to the next room and hopped down to street level. Even if he had not finished them off, the Foot had been pulled far from their home before that final battle. Returning for the supplies he needed was safe.

One hour later, a figure clad in black leather with blue trim raced past a green sign on a red motorcycle.

**Now Leaving  
City of New York**


	31. Chapter 31

** Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 31**

Leonardo stuck to the highways as he made his way south. While the freeway allowed higher speeds and a more direct route, it was also more visible and there were few places to stop that afforded good cover. He felt fairly certain that Raph and Mikey would make the same decision. The problem was that there were a lot of highways and finding the right one was going to be a trick.

He had yet to travel as far as he wanted without having to stop and rest. Casey had been correct about Leo's injuries not having fully healed yet, and the shell cycle ride was exacerbating them. Even during his rest stops, Leo made use of the time by doing what he could to overhear the local gossip, searching for any references that might be to his family.

Picking up a small community newspaper at his latest stop, Leo had mixed feelings upon finding a familiar armored car tucked into the background of a photograph for a story about a local proprietor. He was ecstatic to know that he was on the right track, but if he could spot the truck that easily, who else could? He checked the paper and found that it was a weekly toward the end of it's circulation. The photo had probably been taken some time ago, but at least he was on the right track.

* * *

Michelangelo watched Donatello sleep. The child had started feeling better and was behaving a little more often, but he still wanted Leo. Two days ago, Mikey and Raph had set up a little meeting and tried to explain the situation regarding the blue-masked turtle. Donnie had not taken the explanation well at all. In fact, the young turtle had flatly refused to listen to them regarding the subject. Both elder turtles had made multiple attempts at explanation, and both were now at their wits end as Donnie refused to be convinced that his daddy was truly gone. Mikey sighed and shook his head as he watched the child sleep. Quiet cursing drew Mikey's attention away from his nephew. 

Raphael was still futzing with the battered shell cell. Mikey was pretty sure that Don could have jury rigged something by now, but he was also aware of the fact that Raph was not Don. Donnie wasn't exactly Don either. While, from what Mikey was seeing, he was sure that Donnie would follow in Don's technological footsteps, the child was too young and too inexperienced right now to be of much use to them in that area. When Raphael stood and headed to the door, Mikey turned.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I need parts, and I'm done waiting." Raph replied as he grabbed a disguise.

"Just don't-"

Raph slammed the door shut on his way out. The resulting bang echoed through the house and shook the walls.

"-slam the door." Mikey finished lamely as Donnie jerked awake. He looked around, remembered that Leo was not there and started to cry. Mikey shook his head in frustration and went to see to his nephew.

* * *

Raphael found the local junk yard, but parts had been in short supply. 

"Definitely not New York." He grumped as he continued searching through the refuse. Twice he had been forced to hide from people bringing by items, but he counted himself lucky that there didn't seem to be many humans around despite it being the middle of the day. It was also good to know that the junkyard seemed to lack any dogs of any kind.

Raphael dug through the refuse, most of which was really that. Useful items were extremely few and far between. Still, the red-masked turtle kept searching and his efforts eventually bore fruit. Sticking the handful of cell phones he found into a bag he had brought with him, Raph slipped away from the junkyard and headed back to the house they had taken up residence in.

Entering the house, Raph found Mikey trying to get some lunch into their little nephew. The orange-masked turtle seemed to have been more successful than in recent days. Either that or there was an unnerving amount of food on the floor. Raph was hoping for the former.

"I told you not to slam the door!" Mikey complained angrily when Raph fully entered the kitchen, drawing Donnie's attention upward and away from his meal, at least to the casual observer. Pieces of it would turn up on the floor later. The orange-masked turtle had been stressed prior to the incident and that bang that had awoken Donnie had been the last straw. Once Mikey had finished his statement, he turned his head to face Raphael.

Raphael rolled his eyes, which was the wrong answer. Donnie's head again swiveled, this time to Michelangelo as another piece of broccoli found its way under the table.

"You can't keep doing this, Raph!" Mikey shouted. Little eyes panned from orange to red.

"I needed parts, Mikey!" Another shift from Raph to Mikey, took Donnie's attention to who he suspected would be the next speaker. Even as he watched the continuing fight, bits of food were added to the growing pile under the table.

"This isn't New York! You can't go storming off like a hothead here! And you can't slam the doors when-"

"You're worse that Leo!" Raph exclaimed, drawing little eyes away from Mikey prematurely. Two faces held shocked expressions when Raph finished those words, and a third followed shortly afterward.

"Is that was you really think, Raph?" Mikey asked quietly with a shake of his head. It was a moment before he found his voice again, and when he did, he was shouting. "You ought to have more respect for him!"

Donatello's eyes began to water. All food, whether it be on the plate, in his hand or on the floor was forgotten.

"You know what I meant, Mikey!" Raph growled as Donnie's watery eyes turned to quiet crying.

"I also know what you said!" The orange masked turtle screamed.

The quiet crying, begging uncles to stop fighting, was lost in the background of the continuing argument between the older turtles. It soon became loud wailing. Even that went ignored.

"What a thing to come home to." A soft voice interjected into the cacophony.

_Silence_

"Leo!" Mikey and Raph called in unison.

They were joined by a bright, "Daddy!"a split second later.

Raphael was the first to reach the blue-masked turtle. Even as he did it, Raph wasn't sure what he would do first.

Leo took a fist to the face, dropping him to the floor and stopping Donnie and Mikey in their tracks. Raph then pulled his brother to his feet and hugged him tightly. Mikey joined them a moment later.

"Don't you _ever_ do anything crazy like that again!" Raphael shouted as he fought back the tears that sprang to his eyes.

"I don't intend to." Leo responded when he could speak again. Despite knowing Raphael, and despite being a highly trained ninja, Leo had not expected that hit. A moment later, small arms wrapped around his leg as Donnie managed to squirm through the sea of uncles.

"Daddy!" Donnie cried brightly again. Leo reached down and picked the child up.

"Yeah, I'm here, baby. I'm here." He rocked his son and held the boy tightly. The trip had worn Leo out considerably, but the result had been more than worth it. His brothers were at his side, and his son was in his arms. For the first time since practically shoving Raph out of the lair with Donnie, Leonardo was happy.

"Knew you'd be back!" Donnie yammered happily. "Knew it!" His little arms wrapped more tightly around Leo.

"Did you?" Leo asked the child.

"Uh huh. Knew it!" Donnie proclaimed proudly. "Was wight!"

Leo couldn't help but smile at that. "Yeah, you were right." The blue-masked turtle blinked away tears. Until that moment that Donnie had shouted his name upon entering the house, Leo had only been able to hope that his child was ok. He trusted Donnie and Splinter, but there had been that shadow of doubt that had clouded his every moment.

"Why cwy?" Donnie asked, looking up at his daddy in concern.

"Because I'm just really happy to see you guys." Leo told his son, giving the child a tight squeeze and drifting off into his own thoughts.

"How'd you find us, Leo?" Mikey's voice cut through Leo's silent reverie.

Leo chuckled. "Next time you guys are trying to hide, don't use a vehicle as recognizable as the Battle Shell."

Raph couldn't help but smile at that particular mistake. Their truck was, indeed, distinct.

"And," Leo continued, "try to stay out of newspaper photos."

Raph's and Mikey's eyes widened at that one until Leonardo started chuckling.

"The Battle Shell showed up in a couple local papers. You guys probably weren't even around at the time."

Raph also chuckled, happy to have his family whole once more. He watched as Donnie started to squirm in Leo's arms. A moment later the child pulled a lump out o f Leo's belt.

"Anna's" Donnie said as he held up a stuffed bear.

"Yes, that's Anna's." Leo agreed with a soft smile. "It was to remind me to come back."

"Go back?" Donnie asked, looking up at Leo from the bear in his hands.

"Yeah." Leo informed the child. "We can go back."

That got Raph and Mikey's attention.

"I thought we left to get away from the Foot." Mikey commented a bit nervously.

Leo chuckled a bit nervously. "Well, that's not much of an issue anymore."

"You're kidding me." Raph responded. Getting only a shake of the head to tell him that Leo was quite serious, the red-masked turtle continued. "You really took 'em all out?"

Leo nodded. "Might have missed a couple newbies, but all the major players are gone." He looked down at movement against his chest and found his son happily playing with Anna's bear.

Raph half chuckled in awe. "You really are one crazy son of a-"

"Language, Raph." Leo chided, gesturing with his head to the child playing happily in his arms.


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 32**

It was rather cramped in the Battle Shell on the return trip to New York now that Leonardo and the Shell Cycle were also in the rig. This time the group knew exactly where they were going, and the drive back to the city could be done in one, albeit very long, night if they took the freeways instead of the back roads they had come down on.

Once the initial greetings had finished a few days previous, Raphael and Michelangelo had become more aware of the extent of Leo's injuries. While the worst of them had healed, the blue-masked ninja still had a little way to go and needed to rest. The long motorcycle trip had done him no favors whatsoever and they were already getting on the road again. At least the Battle Shell was a more comfortable and restful environment than the Shell Cycle was.

Michelangelo turned around in the passenger's seat and looked at the pair in the back of the Battle Shell. Leo was laying on the floor half asleep. Part of the reason he was only half asleep was his traveling companion in the back of the truck.

Donatello was strapped into a booster seat near Leo's make-shift bed. For the most part, he was sleeping or playing quietly, but every so often he would turn to Leo and try to engage him in some sort of activity. It almost seemed as though the child was making sure his daddy was really there and not some sort of figment of his imagination. As much as all three older turtles hated to deny him that assurance, Leo did need his rest. Donnie was generally satisfied by a couple words passed between the two, but if Leo neglected to respond, he was bombarded by whatever items were within Donnie's reach and were not permanently affixed to their spots. In fact, 'not permanently affixed' had quickly turned into anything that Donnie could find a way to remove as a cover for a button on the panel near the child had proved about an hour ago. The blue-masked turtle had lost count of how many times he had returned Anna's bear to Donnie as he had quickly discovered that his son was willing to toss anything, including shell cells and sharper bits of metal to get his daddy's attention. Leo decided some time ago that the bear was preferable.

"Donnie, he's not going anywhere. Let Daddy rest," Mikey insisted from the passenger's seat when he heard the child preparing to toss things at Leo once more.

The young turtle immediately smiled innocently and pulled Anna's bear against his chest, causing Mikey to chuckle softly.

The orange-masked turtle faced forward again and not two minutes later heard the soft _fwap_ that indicated Leo had been bombarded once again by a stuffed bear. He chuckled quietly to himself at the little nipper's persistence and turned to the back of the rig again just in time to see Leo return the bear to the child.

* * *

"Uncle Waph, I gotta gooooo!" Donnie complained loudly and not for the first time. 

"I hear you, kiddo." Raph repeated as he continued watching the road.

Donnie had started complaining only moments after they had passed a sign stating, 'Next rest area 67 miles.' They had been forced to be careful at the rest stops too, and that was part of the reason they had decided to do their traveling at night. Raph was beginning to wish they had chosen the back roads they had taken down instead of traveling on the freeway. It was easier to stop and use a tree on back roads.

"I'm looking for something, but you might have to hold it for a while longer." Raph informed his young nephew.

"I ca-a-a-an't." The child complained. "I gotta go!"

Raph sighed and kept driving, not knowing what else to do.

"Raph, just pull over and let him hop the barrier or something." Mikey suggested.

"Oh, right. On a road with cars flying by at 70 miles per hour? Someone will see us, probably hit him! Nevermind that it's illegal and there are cops everywhere in case you haven't noticed." Raph snapped back.

"Whoa, dude. Just a suggestion." Mikey said, raising his hands and backing down.

_fwap_

Leo blinked his eyes open and found himself beak to nose with Anna's bear.

"Donnie-"

"Daddy, I gotta go!"

Leo watched his son bounce in the booster seat for a moment as he forced himself awake.

"How bad?" The blue-masked turtle asked as he sat up.

"Weally bad. Weally, weally, weally bad." Donnie replied, still bouncing. He certainly sounded desperate.

"Raph?" Leo asked as he nodded to his son, showing the child that he understood.

"I've been lookin', but there's nowhere to stop."

Leo sighed and looked back at his bouncing boy.

"You're going to have to hold it, baby. I'm sorry." Leo apologized to the hopping child.

"I can't, Daddy." Donnie whined. "I can't." He continued bouncing desperately in his seat.

Leo sighed and turned back to the floor. There was nothing he could do to help Donnie at the moment. It was pretty much up to Raph. As he turned his attention away from his son, he heard a small, frustrated grunt before Donnie quieted to just bouncing in his seat.

Nearly a half hour passed before Raph managed to find a place to get off the freeway. He tucked the rig into the back of the parking lot and the three adult turtles garnered disguises while Donnie watched them from his seat.

"Come on, baby. Don't you need to use the bathroom?" Leo asked as he unbuckled his son. Usually it was something of a trick to keep Donnie in the seat long enough to get the rig stopped so having to unbuckle him was strange.

"Not no mo'e." Donnie responded with a negative as Leo pulled him out of the now wet seat.

"Oh, Donnie. Ew!" Leo commented when he realized what had happened.

"I sowwy!" Donnie protested with tears springing to his eyes as Leo held him at arms' length. "Couldn't hold it no mo'e, an' it got away."

"Shh, it's ok, Donnie." Leo insisted to his distraught son, still holding the boy at arms' length. "Let's just get you cleaned up, ok?"

The teary eyed child nodded and Leo made his way to the restrooms, staying out of sight as much as possible. They were lucky that the rest area was deserted save for a few truckers resting in the back of their rigs for the night. Still, once in the restroom, Leo noted the stall nearest the sink. If anyone came in, he and Donnie could hide in there.

"Cold!" Donnie gasped when Leo started cleaning him up. The hot water seemed to be out. Leo had come across that in several places on this trip so he wasn't exactly surprised. That did not make it any less disappointing.

"I'm sorry, baby, but it's all we've got." Leo replied as he got a paper towel wet and soapy. He rubbed it in his hands for a few moments to try and warm it up a bit before touching his son again.

Leo was about finished cleaning Donnie up when the door moved. He grabbed the soapy child, disappeared into the nearest stall and locked the door. Three men came into the restroom and were taking their sweet time about getting out. At least that's how it seemed to Leo. While they were hiding, Donnie began shaking like a leaf. The blue-masked turtle looked down at his chilled son and sighed quietly knowing that soapy, wet and cold were not a good combination. Unfortunately, Donnie would have to get colder before he could get warm. Leo pulled his son closer to him, hoping to give the boy what little heat he could provide.

When the coast was finally clear, Leo slipped back out to the sinks and rinsed Donnie off before rinsing off the soap he had gotten on himself while hiding in the toilet stall. Job complete, Leo sent Donnie to use the toilet before picking the boy up again and hurrying back to the Battle Shell. He was in no hurry to repeat this experience.

Deciding that they would rather be safe than sorry, the three adults used the restroom too before getting back on the road. This time, Mikey was behind the wheel and, instead of being strapped in his now-soiled seat, Donnie was huddled on the floor in Leo's arms. Both were soon asleep and Mikey drove on through the night.

* * *

"Anna!" Donnie squealed as he struggled to get out of his daddy's arms the next evening. The moment he was released, he bounded across the room to return the bear. Leo chuckled as the child ran off. 

"Hey, April, Casey." The blue-masked turtle greeted, followed shortly by his brothers.

"Leo! You found them!" April responded as she gave Leo a hug before moving onto Mikey and Raph.

"Guys!" Casey greeted equally brightly, hugging Mikey first then giving Raph a clap on the shoulder before hugging Leo too.

"Donnie, why don't you come-"

_CRASH_

"Oopsie."

"- say hi to Casey and April." Leo sighed as he finished his sentence that had been interrupted. He looked at the others and ran after the kids, April, Casey and his brothers right behind him.

"Anyone want to explain this?" Leo demanded, looking down at the vase that lay in pieces on the floor.

"S/He did it!" Donnie and Anna chorused, each pointing to the other. Donnie was waving his arm a bit in gesturing to Anna.

April and Leo both sighed before moving to their respective children. Greetings hadn't even been fully exchanged before the little rascals had managed to break something. Donnie and Anna locked eyes, both knowing they were in trouble.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 33**

Leonardo watched his two students carefully. Only one of them was actually focused on the task at hand. While it had never been truly unheard of, it was becoming more of a habit of late.

"Donatello!" Leo snapped, quickly getting his son's attention. The eight-year-old turtle glanced at his cousin and realized that he was almost three full positions behind. Leo sighed as Donnie sloppily rushed through the next few positions in an effort to catch up.

"Again" Leo ordered when the pair stopped. The glare Anna sent Donnie's direction did not go unnoticed by either turtle in the room. "You will repeat the sequence until you BOTH complete it perfectly. Pay attention to what you are doing." Leo stated. "Hajime!"

Once more, Leo watched his two students go through the kata, and once more Donatello fell behind. The child's father shook his head as they completed the kata. "Again."

This was not working. "Hold!" When his students did so, Donnie two motions after the hold was called, Leo continued. "Both of you, sit."

Anna sat and looked up at Leo, who had seated himself in front of his two students. Donnie sat and looked down at the floor. It was clear that everyone knew exactly what the problem was, but that did not mean that Leo was going to pull any proverbial punches.

"Anna" The girl immediately sat up more at attention than she had already been, upon hearing her name. "If you were in a fight right now, would you want Donatello at your back?"

"No, Sensei." Anna responded quickly and honestly.

Leo watched Donnie cringe at that. "And why not?" He continued.

"Because I wouldn't know if I could trust him to take care of what I cannot see. Anna answered. She answered honestly for two reasons despite how horrible her little cousin obviously felt for causing this little conference. First, she knew what Leo did when they lied, and second, she was extremely angry at Donnie for not doing something as simple as paying attention for the duration of one little kata. And a simple kata at that.

"Donatello, can you refute this statement?" Leo asked.

Donnie just shook his head.

"Do you know why Anna feels this way?"

"Because I wasn't paying attention." The small turtle responded softly.

Leo nodded as he spoke again. "And do you recognize that this is a problem?"

It took a brief moment for Donnie to figure out what he was being asked before he responded. "Hai, Sensei."

"Now, Donatello, why aren't you paying attention?"

The young turtle just shrugged, which Leo wasn't going to accept as an answer.

"Donatello?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know what you were thinking about instead?"

The child hesitated but did eventually respond. "That I think the motion senso' Uncle Raph showed me yest'day that wasn't wo'king had a cw... crossed Wi-re."

While Leo was impressed at Donnie's memory of what he had seen the previous day, now was not the time nor the place for that sort of thing. "And what should you have been thinking about?"

"Whe'e I was in the kata."

Leo had hoped that as Donnie got older, that his trouble with the letter r would fade, but it had become clear a couple of years ago that this would not be the case. Everyone was helping in what ways they could and Donnie had slowly learned to make the correct sound if he could stretch the word out a little, but that was not always possible.

April appeared in the doorway at that moment and Leo glanced at the clock and realized that he had kept them over. Anna had school, but Donnie was going to complete that kata if it took him all day.

"Anna, you are dismissed." Leo stated.

The girl bowed then stood and hurried out of the lair.

"I have to do it again?" Donnie asked, though he already know the answer.

"Yes, you will repeat the kata with me until you get it right and pay attention the whole time."

Donnie sighed.

"If you concentrate and make it through this first time then you will be done and we can go see about that motion sensor." Leo told his son. When Donnie nodded the two turtles performed the kata together and the child managed to pay attention the whole time and kept pace just fine.

"Now why didn't you do that earlier when Anna was here?" Leo asked. "You could have been done a long time ago."

Donnie sighed again and shrugged. When he looked up he saw that his dad was still waiting for an answer. He was very seldom allowed to answer a question without talking. It had been that way for years though he could not really remember why. His uncles often answered each other with a shrug or nod or some sort of gesture, but he was not allowed to. Still, it never stopped him from trying. "I don't know."

"Leo sighed and dismissed his son who bowed then morosely headed toward the door. He shook his head sadly as his child left. While he did not find it the least bit surprising that Donnie's heart was generally not in ninjutsu it was still a little disappointing. Some days training sessions were torture for everyone involved.

"Hey, Donnie," Leo called after his departing child, "wait up."

Donnie stopped and turned to his father. "What, Daddy?"

"I did tell you that I'd go with you to see about that sensor, didn't I?" Leo asked with a smile. He had every intention of turning their outing into a lesson and a chat.

Donnie blinked in confusion then nodded. Leo could understand Donnie's confusion. Often a bad morning in the dojo contributed to a sort of tension between father and son for the remainder of the day. Bad sessions truly worried Leo as the ability to fight would be necessary for Donnie's survival. It had been a while since Leo had reminded his young son of this fact, and he was determined to avoid the unnecessary tension between himself and his son today.

"Ok, yes, it was a bad morning." Leo told Donnie outright. "but why should we let that ruin the rest of our day?" The true warrior will put the past behind him and move on."

Donnie still blinked. "But... Uncle W-Raphy usually takes me to do that stuff."

Leo had to laugh. He'd been completely wrong about what had Donnie confused. "That's ok. I'm sure Uncle Raph won't mind if I take you today."

Once Leo had assured his son that it was ok, Donnie hurried over to his side.

"Can we go? Can we go now?" The eight-year-old asked quickly in his excitement, eliciting a chuckle from his dad.

"Sure, Baby." Leo responded. "We can go now."

"Yay!" Donnie cheered as he hugged his dad tightly.

"Why don't you go get that bag and we'll go see if that old sensor can't be fixed out there. If it can't we'll bring it back and you can mess with it here.

Donnie grinned at the prospect and the pair were soon out in the tunnels heading back to the motion sensor.

Leo watched his young son carefully as the pair made their way through the tunnels. Donnie was doing very well. His movements were almost silent and he was being very alert to his surroundings. These were the areas of ninjitsu that Donnie excelled in. In fact, Donnie's alertness was bordering on paranoia as it often did in the tunnels. Even though it had been four years since he and Mikey had been ambushed and Donnie claimed not to remember the incident, he was still uneasy in the tunnels. Donnie hid and moved well, he just did not like to fight.

"You're doing very well out here." Leo told his son, drawing the child's attention. "In every other aspect of ninjitsu you pay attention and excel so why won't you apply that same attention and care to fighting?"

"I don't want to fight." Donnie replied in a small voice as they reached the sensor. He pointed up at the device as he continued. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

Leo sighed and squeezed his son's shoulder before reaching up and disconnecting the motion detector. He then handed the device to the young turtle. "Donnie, none of us fight because we want to. We-"

"Uncle Raphy does."

"He fights when the opportunity presents itself. Even he doesn't start the fight. We fight because we have to if we want to survive."

"But I don't want to fight."

Leo knelt down and looked Donnie in the eyes. "And I sincerely hope that someday you won't have to. For now, your uncles and I can and will protect you, but we won't always be around to do that. You'll have to take care of yourself and I want you do be able to do so."

"Why wouldn't you be around?" Donnie asked.

"Leo froze for a moment before coming up with an answer to that question. "Well, you'll want to go out by yourself someday, or-"

"No, I won't!" The young turtle insisted causing Leo to chuckle.

"Trust me, baby. You will. But aside from that, do you remember when Master Splinter went away?"

Donnie nodded a little hesitantly, only vaguely remembering the incident or Master Splinter.

"Well, someday, that will happen to all of us. We don't choose when that happens, and hopefully it will be a good long time from now, but someday it will happen."

"I don't want you to go away!" Donnie cried as he threw himself into Leo. The elder turtle wrapped his arms around his son.

"And I don't want to leave you either, but sometimes we are not given a choice." Leo hugged Donnie tightly. "All we can do is be as prepared as possible. Sometimes we can put it off a bit. With our lifestyles, putting it off usually means being the better fighter."

"So..." Donnie started hesitantly. "If I'm a bad fighter then I might go away?" He asked in a small voice.

Leo nodded. "Yes, and I don't want to you go away, so will you please pay more attention during training sessions?"

Donatello looked down for a moment before nodding.

"And I'd like you to start observing our sessions and sparring matches." Leo added.

"Do I have to?"

Leo gave Donnie a look that said he would be disappointed if his son refused. The young turtle held out for a moment before sighing and giving a small nod of agreement.

"Well, what do you think, baby?" Leo asked brightly, changing the subject. "Do you think it can be fixed out here, or should we take it back?"

Donnie looked down at the motion sensor in his hands for a moment before popping the casing open. It didn't take him long to find the problem.

"Crossed wi-e...wire." Donnie grinned. He then dug through the bag and came up with some shrink wrap and a battery powered heat gun. Within minutes, Leo was putting the now fully functional sensor back up.

"What would we do without you?" Leo asked as he ruffled his son's mask. Donnie laughed and fixed his bandanna before looking back up at Leo.

"Time to go back home?"

"Time to go back home." Leo confirmed as he picked his son up. "Ugh, you're getting too big for this." The blue-masked turtle groaned, causing his son to giggle. Donnie wasn't actually that heavy and everyone, including Donnie, knew it.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** Well, after yet another long break, I am finally posting another chapter. We have another time jump, but here goes nothing.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 34**

Leonardo knocked on Donatello's door. He had yet to decide if he was angry or concerned because Donnie had missed training that morning. Hearing the small groan from the other side of the door, he quickly settled on concerned. Just Donnie's luck to be sick on his birthday. Well, the anniversary of the day he had been returned to them as a living, breathing turtle. Leo opened the door slowly and poked his head into the fifteen-year-old's room. In response, Donnie raised his head to find the source of the intrusion, spotted Leo and groaned again before trying to bury his head under his pillow.

"Hey, Donnie, are you alright? You missed training."

"Sorry." Donatello responded hoarsely from under his pillow.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok." When Donnie gave no response, Leo sat next to him on the bed even though it was pretty clear that his son just wanted to be left alone. He reached down and pulled the pillow away enough that he could touch Donnie's forehead and cheeks, checking the younger turtle's temperature.

"You're too cold."

"I did kind of figure that one out, Dad." Donnie responded as he pulled the pillow back down over his head..

"I'll go find you another blanket, ok?" Leo offered. He took his son's silence as a go ahead. He left the room and went to the nearest closet. After a moment of digging he came up with an electric blanket. Checking it over quickly, he determined that it was in good condition and would probably be the best option. He went back to Donnie's room and plugged in the blanket at the foot of the bed before carefully tucking it around the fifteen-year-old turtle.

"Thanks," Donnie muttered, his head still buried under the pillow.

"Anytime." Leo responded as he sat down next to Donatello. For the past twelve years Leo had raised Donnie, and it was hard to believe that a whole twelve years had passed. He looked down at his son. Twelve years ago they had guessed that Donnie would always be small for a mutant turtle, and it turned out that they had been right. At fifteen, Leo, Mikey and Raph had all been about 5'2", but Donnie was only 4'7" and far too skinny for his father's liking. However, Donnie was tougher than he looked; Leo had to give him that. While they had never determined exactly what Bishop had done to the youngest of their family, Leo had a feeling that the strength which seemed almost excessive for such a small turtle had something to do with it.

The teen was lying on his stomach, and Leonardo reached down and rubbed gentle circles on Donnie's carapace.

"Why do you do that?"

Leo immediately stopped the circles and pulled his hand away from Donnie. "If you don't like it, I can stop."

"No, it... kinda makes it easier to breathe, actually." Donnie replied, pulling his head out from under the pillow and looking up at Leo. "I was just curious."

Leo nodded and resumed the circles he had been making on his son's back. "Master Splinter used to do this to us when we were sick. I guess I always kind of liked it." He answered with a soft smile.

"Oh." Donnie put his head back down on his pillow and let his father rub his back.

"You probably don't remember him, do you?" Leo asked. When Donnie shook his head, the elder turtle continued. "You were only four when he died. He used to tell you stories."

"I don't remember." Donnie replied sadly.

Leo sighed. "I know, you were too young."

"Tell me about him?"

"You know I'm a horrible story teller, Donnie." Leo reminded his son. "Mikey's really a much better choice."

"But everyone always tells me that you were closest to him." Donnie pointed out. "He was supposed to be this wonderful person, but no one will ever tell me anything about him. For all I know he could have been a serial arsonist who went around attacking old ladies in his spare time."

"Donnie!" Leo scolded. Smacking the younger turtle on the back and causing him to start coughing.

"Geez, Dad! What was that for?" Donnie demanded when the coughing fit subsided. He scooched away from Leo to the far side of the bed. "You know I'm right. No one's ever told me anything other than that he was oh so wonderful and how much you all miss him and how much I should respect him."

Leo sighed and apologized for what he had done. He knew Donnie was ill, but he had not expected the coughing. "None of us ever meant to keep Master Splinter's story from you, but about the time we lost him we, in a way, lost a brother too."

"I thought Master Splinter was your father and sensei? Like you are to me." Donnie was terribly confused now. Having calmed down a bit, he moved closer to his dad again and allowed the circles on his carapace to resume.

"He was. Our relationship was different, we were much more formal with him than you and I are." Leo admitted. "The brother I am referring to was not Master Splinter."

"So who was he? I thought it was just you, Uncle Raph and Uncle Mikey."

"Wow, this is weird." Leo sighed. "We never knew how to tell you this story. In fact, I'm still not sure how. Please understand that we never meant to keep it from you, we just didn't know how to tell you, but I'll do my best, ok? And you'll probably learn a bit about Master Splinter along the way."

Donnie nodded.

"It all started a bit under 30 years ago..." Leo launched into the familiar origin story, doing his best to tell it just as Splinter had all those years ago.

"But I know about the ooze."

"Didn't you ever wonder why you're so much younger than the rest of us?" Leo asked.

Donnie froze, "I guess I just assumed... I don't know what I assumed." He admitted. Now that his father mentioned it, Donnie had no idea where he had come from. "I guess I assumed that you found me later."

Leo chuckled. "No. The real story is far less logical. To tell you the truth, you're probably not going to like it, but you'll just have to believe me. I would never lie to you, Donnie."

Suddenly the young turtle was not so sure he wanted to hear this story. All the same, he nodded and Leo continued his explanation, slowly moving on to their third winter.

"Our other brother got very sick that year. One morning, he just didn't wake up."

"What was his name?" Donnie asked. When his father failed to respond, he tried explaining the question. "I mean, you keep referring to him as your 'other brother', I assume he had a name."

"He did." Leo admitted.

"So what was it? Or I guess his part of the story is kind of over if he died that young."

Leo laughed in spite of himself. "Far from it, his story hardly ends there."

Donnie looked up. "I don't understand. How can his story continue if he died?"

"Well, that's the story I'm trying to tell you, isn't it?" Leo smiled at the confused turtle.

Donnie sighed. "I guess so, but it still doesn't make sense."

"It will, don't worry."

"So what was his name?"

"D-" Leo froze for a moment, debating whether or not this was such a good idea. He knew he'd have to tell eventually, and now was as good a time as any. "Donatello. His name was Donatello."

"Like me?"

"Just like you. You have asked before why none of us could ever find it in ourselves to call you Don, well, he is why." Leo watched as Donnie glanced at the box on the nightstand. A small cedar box that had once resided in Master Splinter's room.

"That old bandanna... I always got the impression that it used to belong to someone else... He wore purple too."

"Yes, he did. Or rather, he would have, if-" Leo cut himself off and changed the subject. "Please, Donnie, let me tell you the story before I lose my nerve." With that, Leo continued. Sharing how Don had become a spirit, and had refused to stay in the spirit world where he 'belonged'. Sharing how Master Splinter had come to realize that Don was more than the figment of a child's imagination. Sharing how they had grown up as a group of four under Master Splinter's tutelage.

"Why?" Donnie asked suddenly, putting a brief halt to Leo's story.

"Why what?"

"Why wouldn't your brother stay in the spirit realm?"

Leo sighed, not really wanting to tell this part of the story. "In the spirit realm are all the beings who came before you. Family, friends, everyone you have ever met and known before they crossed over are there. My brother was miserable there. He was all alone because our mutation had changed us in such a way that he could not relate to our mother and ancestors or any other turtles there. He was also shunned by the vast majority of the humans. Additionally, we didn't know of Hamato Yoshi at the time. Master Splinter did, of course, but we were too young to have heard of him or to have been associated with him. Donatello was alone there, and instead of staying there where he had no one, he would come back here to be with us. That all changed one day."

"Dad, you do know that this story sounds utterly ridiculous."

Leo nodded. "I know. But I think that deep down you know that it is the truth."

"What?"

"Look inside yourself. I honestly believe that you know that what I am telling you is the truth."

"I believe you, Dad. I really do, but it sounds preposterous."

Leo half laughed in agreement. "Yeah, I guess it does."

Over the next few minutes, Leo explained his battle with the Foot Elite and the subsequent encounter with the Shredder. "Suffice to say, I got my shell waxed. I nearly died, and would have if it hadn't been for Don. He guided me back to this realm, and that was the last time any of us really saw or heard from our brother."

"Where'd he go?"

Leo continued the story, seemingly ignoring the question. "A few days later, Master Splinter got up and opened the door. The strangest thing was that no one had heard a knock, and even if they had, April or Casey would have gotten it. When Master Splinter came back in he held a three-year-old, very sick, very small turtle in his arms." He paused to see if Donnie would get the implications of the story. Noting his son's confusion, Leo continued dropping hints. "I was seventeen years old at the time. The day was-"

"December second." Donnie finished, piecing the puzzle together.

"Yes." Leo nodded. "You always were the smart one."

"This is a joke, right?"

Leo shook his head sadly. The anger and accusation in Donnie's tone was readily apparent, and Leo had expected it.

"It's a _bad_ joke, Dad. A horrible joke." Donnie glared, his voice bordering on a growl.

"No, my son. It's the truth, and I think you know it. Look in your heart, Donatello, and I'm sure you'll see that what I'm telling you is the truth."

"You expect me to believe that I'm your brother who died when you were three? That's far fetched, even for something Uncle Mikey could come up with."

"Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction, but no, you are not my brother. His spirit resides within you, but you are not him. The life- no... the existence he had as Master Splinter's son was wiped away to make way for you."

"How do you know that?" Donnie continued to glare at his father. He was not the least bit amused by this story.

"He told me." Leo admitted. "It was just about a year after you came to us. You and I were back at the farm house, just the two of us, shortly after Master Splinter died in the final showdown with the Shredder. You know that story, don't you?"

Donnie nodded, and Leo continued. The whole story had never been told to the young turtle, but he knew the gist of it, and that was all he needed to know at the moment. Maybe Leo would tell the rest of the story of that final battle another day.

"My brother Don came to me in a vision, where before he had always just appeared to us as a spirit who could, if he wanted to, interact with the world around him. This was different, it was almost like he taped it and sent it in the mail." When Donnie spoke again, it was in a tone that Leo had never heard before. Donatello was beyond angered, and Leonardo could understand why.

"Why didn't you tell me this before? Why didn't you tell me that I-" He cut himself off then continued with another statement. "I had the right to know."

Leo sighed and nodded.

"Get out."

"Donnie, I-"

"Get out!"

"Please, listen to just one more thing. Yes, you are right, you did have the right to know. I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry, Donnie. Really, I am. I should have told you years ago."

"GET! OUT!" Donnie growled before dissolving into a coughing fit.

This time, Leo did what his son wanted. He could understand Donnie wanting to be alone right now.

"What was that all about?" Raph asked as Leo re-entered the hallway and quietly closed Donnie's door behind himself.

"I told him." Leo knew that Raph would know exactly what he was talking about, and he was not disappointed.

"'bout Don?"

"Yes."

"He took it well, I see." Raphael muttered.

Leo shook his head sadly. "Could have been worse, I guess."

"I'll go talk to him." Raph offered.

"Not just yet." Leo responded, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder as a mild physical restraint. "Let him have a while to try to sort it out for himself first."


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer:** As always, I do not own the Ninja Turtles. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 35**

"Hi, Aunt April, is Anna there?" Donnie asked hopefully over the phone the next day. It was Saturday, and his first call had been picked up by Anna's roommate Pam. Donnie had meant to just ask where Anna was, but Pam had drug him into what he thought was a rather odd conversation. By the time he finally managed to get her off the phone, he was more than a little confused. It wasn't an uncommon feeling after getting off the phone with Pam. She kept calling him weird names like 'Honey Bunch' and 'Hot Stuff'.

"She's upstairs, Donnie." April covered the mouthpiece as she shouted up the stairs for Anna. Anna, after coming to live with April following her parents' death, had been officially adopted by Casey and April shortly after they had been married. Anna was a few years older than Donnie, but had kind of accepted him as a little brother over the years. They called each other cousins, but they were as close as siblings.

"You feeling any better today? Your dad said you were sick yesterday." April inquired as she waited for Anna to come down.

"Yes, much," Donnie replied. He hesitated a moment before continuing, "physically anyway."

"What do you mean?" April asked, not having expected the qualifier Donnie had added to his feeling better. She heard the turtle on the other end of the line sigh.

"Did you know about Don?" The long silence on the other end of the line was more than enough answer for him. "Aunt April?"

"So, Leo finally told you?" April sighed. "Is this why you want to talk to Anna?" She took a moment to call up the stairs a second time.

"Yeah." Donnie informed April when she came back on the line. It seemed everyone knew about Don. Everyone except him, that is.

"I met him. I'd only known your dad and the others for a few weeks when you came along."

Donnie heard Anna come down the stairs and ask what all the fuss was in the background. She was cut off and April spoke again briefly.

"Don't be too hard on your dad, ok, Sweetie?" April asked of Donnie. "He's wanted to tell you about him for years, but never knew how."

"Aunt April, may I please speak to Anna?" Donnie repeated his initial request. What he needed to say to someone, he couldn't really say to April. He waited a moment as the phone on the other end of the line was passed.

"Hey, Donnie, what's up, Turtle-boy?" She used her pet name for the young turtle. The name usually garnered some sort of response from Donatello, but today it was like he never even heard it.

"Have you ever learned something that the logical part of your brain says can't be possible, but it turns out that it is?"

"Yeah, sure, the day I met you." Anna replied quickly, remembering the day she had met the then-four-year-old turtle and his family.

"Oh... right." Donnie responded with a sigh.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, Dad just told me something that seems impossible."

"That's what I said when April and Casey told me about mutant turtles." Anna reminded her cousin. When the comment was met by silence she spoke again. "You want me to come over there?"

"Ye- I mean, only if you don't have any plans or anything."

"I haven't seen you in a over a month, Donnie, you've probably sprouted like a weed since I saw you last."

"No, not really"

"Still a shrimp, huh?" She could almost see the little frown on Donnie's face at the comment. "I'll be there in ten."

"Thanks," Donnie's timid voice came over the line. He vaguely heard her tell him that she would meet him in the warehouse, and that if he was covered in grease when she got there, she would bap him one.

Anna hung up and turned to April. "I'm going over there. Do you know anything about this?" She did not ask for permission to go, she had never really needed permission to go visit the turtles and she was nineteen now anyway; old enough to make her own decisions.

April sighed. "It's kind of a long story. Best let Donnie tell it, but try to make him understand that Leo has been wanting to tell the story for years."

Anna nodded and headed out. When she got to the warehouse she was rather relieved to find that Donnie was not hiding under one of the vehicles. Instead he was perched on the roof of the Battle Shell, just sitting up there, kicking the side of the rig with his heel every so often.

"You've been giving your poor dad hell at dinnertime again, haven't you." Anna commented as she climbed up the side of the rig and sat down next to Donnie and gave him a hug.

"I don't mean to." Donatello responded quietly, rubbing self-consciously at his arm.

"Bad winter?"

Donnie nodded silently.

"I thought we fixed that mute thing years ago." Anna commented, trying to get her cousin to speak. "You're almost as bad now as you were when I met you."

"I wasn't really that bad, was I?" Donnie asked with a hint of a smile.

"That bad and worse. I don't suppose you remember that."

"No, not really. I was, what, four?" For the moment, the conversation with his dad the previous day had been pushed aside.

"I don't think you said a single word for the whole first month I knew you. Everyone kept telling me that you knew how to talk, but I didn't really believe it. And you were practically attached to your dad's leg. Absolutely refused to let him go. You were positively scared to death of something. No one ever told me what it was."

"A man named Bishop." Donnie replied. He had felt blood rushing to his face in embarrassment as Anna recalled the story.

"What?"

"That's what I was afraid of. He'd taken me and... did some tests on me." Donnie repeated the story he had been told. "Dad says you were the one who finally got me to speak again."

"Donnie, I didn't know-"

The young turtle just shrugged in response. He couldn't remember the incident and as far as he knew, Bishop was gone. "There was no reason you should have. Bishop was a real nut job. He'd been after our family for years before that incident. Apparently, he was some sort of mad scientist guy out to save the Earth from alien invaders. Most of the aliens I've met are nice."

"Was?" Anna asked, noting Donatello's use of the past tense.

"Yeah, Dad killed him. A couple of times, actually."

"Remind me to never really piss off your dad." Anna smiled.

Donnie laughed a little in response. "I don't think you need to worry about that." He shivered a little and pulled his knees to his chest, hoping to stay a little warmer.

"You're cold, come on, let's go down." Anna insisted as she squeezed Donnie's shoulder.

"I'd really rather not."

"We can go somewhere your dad and uncles aren't, but I don't want you getting sick again." She noticed that Donnie still seemed reluctant to return to the lair. "Ok, how about this. We go down until dark, it shouldn't be too much longer. We can spar or something until then. Come on, you need your tail kicked, Turtle-boy." Anna pulled her cousin to his feet, he stood a good foot and then some shorter than she did.

"That's what you think! When is the last time you were in the dojo, Monkey-girl?"

She had to admit, he had her there. While she trained on her own, she had not been in a good sparring match since her last visit. Donnie had wiped the dojo floor with her then and probably would again this time. She made a note to come down for morning training with the guys the whole time she was home for winter break.

She wasn't wrong. Donnie had even given her a break, using a pair of his uncle's sai instead of the bo staff he usually favored. He captured Anna's ninjato, disarmed her completely and put her on the floor to finish the match within a minute. Repeated sessions yielded similar results.

"It's been a while since you last sparred, hasn't it, Anna."

Anna looked up and spotted Leonardo at the dojo entrance. Before she had a chance to respond to the comment, Donnie had fixed the older turtle with a glare and stormed out of the room, barely managing the respectful bow as he did so..

"Um... yes, Master Leonardo, it has. I don't really have a sparring partner up there." Anna replied using the formalities of the dojo as that was her current location. She glanced sadly after Donnie, after all, he was the one who she was here to visit.

"You should probably try to find one. Your form was good though."

"Um... Master Leonardo, I appreciate the tips, but-"

Leo nodded sadly from the doorway and ushered Anna out of the dojo. "I do appreciate your coming to talk to him, Anna." Leo smacked the wall with the side of his fist. "He's right. I should have told him years ago." He paused a moment then looked back at the young woman. "Do come around again, you're more than welcome in the mornings too."

"I'll be here, Uncle Leo, but I really ought to go find Donnie."

Leo nodded, and Anna took off towards Donnie's room. When she arrived there, she found Donatello standing on a chair trying to get something off a top shelf that was just out of his reach.

"Donnie? What are you doing?"

The turtle sighed and sat down on the chair. "I hate being short."

"What were you trying to get?" As Anna asked the question, she noticed that Donnie turned some interesting colors.

"I kinda got mad yesterday and threw some stuff."

Anna got up on the chair and easily found a small cedar box on the shelf Donnie had been trying to get to. "What is this." She asked as she pulled the box down and handed it to the turtle.

"It's... an old bandanna." Donnie replied hesitantly. "It was mine... his, both of ours? I don't know anymore." He opened the box and looked at the mask inside. "I wore it when I was younger, and my dad's brother owned it before me."

"Which one?" As far as Anna knew, the turtles had always had their own color.

"The one that died, kind of, I think." Donnie sighed and looked the box over. It seemed to have survived it's flight rather well. Anna was silent and let the obviously confused turtle have a moment to try and clear his thoughts. "He's why no one will call me Don."

"For Donatello, I assume. So you were named after your dad's lost brother, so what?"

"Heh. Don't I wish it were that simple." Donnie turned the box over in his hands and launched into the story that Leo had told him the previous morning.

"Donnie... that's insane" Anna finally commented when the story ended.

"That's pretty much what I said."

"How can that be real, Donnie? There's no way-"

"But it is true, I know it is. And it's all over the lair if you know where to look, come here." Donnie took Anna's hand and led her to a seldom used room. Over time, it had become something of a storage room. The young turtle dug through a pile and pulled an old device out. "Here, look at this."

Anna took the object, it looked like a remote control of some sort. What it was to, she could not say, but even she could see a distinct and familiar style in the design and decoration of the device. It was one that she would recognize anywhere after having grown up around Donatello.

"And look at this." Donnie pulled the remote to one of his little surveillance devices from a pocket on his belt. "I didn't make the remote in your hands. I found it when I was in here yesterday."

Anna looked at the two remotes. The one that Donnie held was smaller, more compact, but that was probably due to the advances and size reduction of the individual components more than anything else.

"And this." Donnie added as he picked up another object. "I never saw this before yesterday afternoon."

Anna took the second object. A small camera, in the shape of a little turtle. The camera lens itself extended along the turtle's 'neck' and it moved on four short legs. Donnie then handed her a smaller version of the same device.

"That second one is mine."

"The old Shell Cells aren't Uncle Raph's style. He hates electronics, only fixes them when he has to. Dad is clueless, Uncle Mikey is..."

"Uncle Mikey." Anna finished with a small smile, knowing exactly what her cousin meant by that. It was a pretty sure thing that none of them had ever built any of this stuff.

"And Dad says Master Splinter was even worse about technology than he is." Donnie added. "So who made this stuff. No three-year-old could have done it, and-"

"And it all matches your style."

"So what am I supposed to believe? This guy they keep talking about really existed, Anna. So what does that make me?"

Anna looked at the two surveillance units and dropped the larger one to the floor with its corresponding remote. "It makes you you, Donnie. No more and no less than you were two days ago. You're you, and that's all you ever have been and ever will be. You said that the spirit had been wiped clean. Well, maybe that is how it is with all beings. The retain some aspects of their past life, but they have their own experiences who truly make them who they are."

"But I was never younger than three."

"Ok, yes, weird, but that doesn't change anything, Donnie. It doesn't make you less than anyone else. If anything, it makes you special."

"And in my experience, special isn't necessarily a good thing, Anna. Being a mutant turtle makes me special, and I can't say that that's been all sunshine and roses. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like being a turtle, it's just..."

"Yeah, I know." She had heard it repeatedly over the years. Donnie would have loved an opportunity to go to a real school. He would have loved to go to the park in the daytime like a normal kid. But when it came right down to it, he liked what he was and he loved his family. He might get upset with his family and what he was from time to time, as he was at the moment, but he would never change anything, even if he could.

"Dad should have told me!" Donnie lamented as he nudged the old surveillance camera with his foot.

"Yes, he should have, and he knows it, but isn't everyone entitled to make a mistake once in a while? He knows he messed up. Can you honestly tell me that you've never held back a story from your dad because you didn't know how to tell it?"

Donnie hesitated for a moment.

"How about the time at the farmhouse when you sprained your ankle? Did you ever tell him how you did that?"

Donnie cringed. "No." Anna had a point.

"I still can't believe you sprained your ankle on an apple." Anna smiled.

"This is totally different though."

"Maybe, but the fact that neither of you knew how to tell the story is exactly the same. Your dad isn't a god, Donnie. He makes mistakes just like everyone else. Don't be mad at him."

"I just don't feel like I know who I am anymore." Donnie admitted in a small voice.

"Well, I know who you are. You're my shrimpy, baby cousin." Anna gave the young turtle a grin before continuing. "Seriously though, I can understand why you might be confused. I'll be here for a month, and your dad and uncles are here for you. I think they know who you are. They know that you're you, not him, even if part of him resides within you."

"I wish you didn't have to go back." The younger of the two said sadly.

"Yeah, I missed you too, but no matter what, I'm always just a phone call away."

"Yeah," Donnie agreed. "I just wish your roommate wasn't. She's... weird."

"Heh, yeah, I know. Come on, April was going to make cookies tonight. It should be dark by now."


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Ninja Turtles, the Foot or any other associated persons or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 36**

"Donnie, you gotta eat something!" Anna said exasperatedly as she noted that Donatello was pushing his dinner around his plate again.

"He's been sick, Anna" April reminded her daughter.

"He's always sick, and not eating just makes it worse. Look at him! Look how much weight he's lost already this year."

Donatello sighed and dropped his head to the table as the two women bickered over him. He kicked his feet back and forth in the air as his legs were too short for him to touch the floor from this position. Another meatball crawled over a pile of spaghetti courtesy of his fork as the argument continued.

"Be that as it may, if he can't eat it right now then he can't eat it right now. Donnie, sweetie, are you done?" April asked, looking at the turtle who had hardly touched his dinner.

Donnie looked up to find Anna glaring at him. He cringed as he nodded to April. "It's great, as always, Aunt April, but..."

"It's ok, Donnie. I know."

Anna glared at her cousin, and Donnie cringed in response. He knew she was right, but he just could not eat right now. Once the dinner table had been cleared, April, Anna and Donnie retired to the living room for a movie. Casey came in shortly after that and joined them. Anna sat on the couch between Donnie and Casey. Everyone had already seen the movie, so it was more an opportunity to chat than it normally would have been. Casey's presence kept the conversation away from the story Donnie had heard yesterday and about half way through the film, the young turtle fell asleep curled up on the single couch cushion he had been allotted. When the film ended, no one had the heart to wake him up. Instead April called Leo.

"He fell asleep over here, Leo. I hate to wake him up."

Leonardo sighed. "Then, you're right, he is better off over there. I know he didn't sleep here last night. No matter how much he needed it. I would like him back for training tomorrow morning though."

"Sure thing, I think Anna wanted to head down for that anyway."

"Great." Leo said, though his tone suggested that he could have been happier. "We're always glad to have Anna around."

"And I've got the heat up in the living room. He's also under two blankets, one electric and one down. So don't worry, Leo. He'll be fine."

When Leonardo hung up the phone, he stared at the floor for a long moment. He had known for a long time that this day was coming. He hated to do it, but some part of him felt he had to. A piece of him deep in his soul had needed this since Master Splinter had died, and he had never felt as though his family could get by if he did what he planned to do. Now, it had been too long, and Leonardo found himself needing this more and more.

* * *

"Shortly after the Christmas holiday, I will be leaving." Leonardo informed his family the next morning after training. Raphael sat in a chair while Mike, Donnie and Anna shared the couch. "It is something I have needed to do for a very long time. I cannot put it off any longer, I am sorry." 

"Where are you going?" Michelangelo asked. He could see Donnie's hurt expression out of the corner of his eye and knew that the young turtle was not going to take this well.

"I have been fighting it for a long time. In the hills of Japan there is a man known only as the Ancient One. He was sensei to Master Yoshi, and it is time, now, for me to seek him out." Leo cringed when Donnie stood up, went to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. When the noise stopped reverberating through the lair, Leo turned to his remaining family.

"You guys have to understand. I have put this off too long as it is. I really have to go. Please say you understand."

"Oh, I understand, Leo." Raph responded with his arms crossed over his chest. "I also understand that your timing sucks."

"Raph!" Mikey objected. "We all know he's been putting this off forever."

"Yes, he has, but his timing still sucks. Leo, it's wintertime and you just told your kid about Don! In case you hadn't noticed, he's feeling a little lost right now. In addition, no offense, Anna, but he hasn't exactly taken Anna's absence from his daily life well, and now you're talking about leaving him too."

"I'll be back as soon as I can!" Leo objected.

"I know that." Raph reminded his brother. "I know you would never leave for long, especially if you didn't really have to, but I still say that as far as everything goes, your timing sucks. You're leaving Donnie at a time when he's feeling confused and vulnerable, and Mikey and I are the ones who are going to have to deal with the fallout. You remember fifteen don'tcha, Leo? It's confusing enough as it is. It was worse for us just being mutant turtles, and we had each other, Leo. Donnie doesn't have that."

"I'm sorry, Raph." Leo apologized.

Raphael shook his head. "No need to say you're sorry to _me_."

It took a moment to figure out what Raph was saying. When it finally did sink in Leo looked toward Donnie's room and sighed. "Right." Leo rubbed his face in frustration. He was needed here, but he had to go. "I wish Master Splinter were still here." He lamented quietly.

"Yeah, bro, we all do." Raphael responded.

"Leo, you should probably go talk to Donnie." Mikey added.

"He's not going to want to hear it right now." Anna piped up.

Leo turned around and faced the young woman who had been so quiet up to now. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's not going to want to hear it. Not yet, Uncle Leo. Let me try first." Anna responded. When Leo nodded, she headed up to Donnie's room. When she got there he was gone.

* * *

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Raphael demanded. 

"I mean, he's not there!" Anna responded in worried tones.

"Where would he have gone?" Mikey asked hurriedly. "I mean, he wouldn't have left the lair would he?"

"I... I think I might know." Leo said as he started toward the sewer tunnels.

"Uncle Leo, I could..."

"Stay here, Anna"

* * *

Leo heard sniffling as he neared his destination, and the small noise affirmed his initial hunch as to where Donnie might have gone. He poked his head around the corner and spotted his child sitting up on a high pipe. 

"Donnie, where's your sweatshirt?"

"What do you care?" The tone was angry, and Leo couldn't blame his son.

"You're my son, and I don't want to see you getting sick again. I love you, and I care about what happens to you." Leo said as he started to make his way up the mass of piping to the smaller turtle's perch.

"Go away." Donnie growled. It was a tone that Leo had never heard his son use.

"I can't do that. Not when you're this upset."

"Sure you can." The young purple-masked turtle shouted. "You just said you're going to so go ahead! See if I care."

"Donnie, I won't be gone forever."

"I. Said. Go. Away."

"Donnie, please, I know my timing is bad."

"Bad? Bad! You call your timing 'bad'?" He glared at his father. "As if the whole thing about your brother weren't bad enough, you drop this on me too!" Donnie fumed. The sound reverberated through the dank tunnels.

"I'm really sorry, My son, but this is something that I have to do. It is something that I have needed for a very long time."

"And who would I be to stop you?" Donnie growled again, staring at the pipe in front of him with tears in his eyes. "Didn't I tell you to go away?"

"I can't leave immediately. I'll still be here for a few more weeks, but I have to leave soon. I'm really sorry, Donnie."

Donatello did not respond. He just sat there glaring at the pipe in front of him. Leo had really hoped for some sort of response from his son. The elder turtle sighed and turned to his child.

"If there is anyone in this world that can stop me from going, it's you, Donnie." Leo finally admitted. "I have put it off this long because I simply could not leave you, but I think you're old enough now to take care of yourself and even assist your uncles. And when I get back, I have every intention of having you join us on patrols. I have put this off for a very long time, Donnie. If I'm wrong, and you honestly do not believe that you can handle it this year then I can put it on hold again, but I will have to go eventually, and I honestly believe that our clan will be stronger for it. Take a couple days to think about it, and if at the end of that time you honestly believe that you need me here then just say the word. I'll stay." Leo put a hand on his son's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. As he left the piping, he noticed that the expression on Donnie's face had changed from pure anger to a more thoughtful one.

* * *

Christmas and New Year's had come and gone, and Leo still had not heard anything from his son. He chose not to push the issue as he knew that the young turtle had enough going on at the moment. What Donnie had done was come to him for more stories; stories about both Master Splinter and Don. Since Anna had gone back to school, this had become an almost daily occurrence. 

"You are a lot like him, yes, but you are your own person. Your path in life branched from his a long time ago. He knew how to think with both his head and his heart." Leo said of his brother. "You share those qualities, and they are good ones. He was quiet, shy and never really wanted to hurt anyone, but he never once hesitated to put up a fight for our sake. I think he probably knew better than any of us what a gift life truly is. Even among us he would often keep to himself, but he was never far away, just right on the edge until he was needed. Don was level headed and very easy to talk to. He was a good listener."

"Ok, all good things, but didn't he ever make anyone mad?"

Leo laughed. "I'm sure he ticked off several people in the spirit realm."

Donnie smiled slightly, but the look on his face made it clear that he wanted more out of Leo.

"He had a kind of determination that got him into trouble from time to time. He could get so absorbed in what he was doing that he would forget everything that was going on around him. Bothering him at a time like that was a good way to remind yourself that he knew how to get angry. You've seen Raph when he gets mad?"

Donnie nodded, remembering the last time he had ticked off his uncle. He certainly had not intended to do anything to make Raphael mad, but the water in the lair had started to smell a little mucky. Donnie had gone back to check the water where they tapped into the city lines, and everything was fine there so he had added some bleach to a holding tank that someone, probably Don if he were to guess, had installed years ago. Unfortunately for Donnie, before he had a chance to get back to the lair, Raphael had decided to wash his masks. While there had not been a huge amount of bleach in the water, it was enough to turn the once red masks pink. All the same, Donnie had a feeling that the real problem had been the giggle fit he had had upon discovering the pink items. He recalled being in the dojo doing flips until his dad had come in to rescue him. Immediately upon his release, Donnie had gone to his room and collapsed into bed, not to move a muscle until the next morning.

"Well, Don could be far scarier than Raph. It might have been because it was rare for him to get riled up though. He was slow to boil and quick to cool. That cooling just had a tendency to result in things being thrown."

"Uncle Raph throws stuff when he gets mad." Donnie pointed out.

"Yes, but Raph throws things in a way that you know they're not going to hit you. Raph misses by feet, but things Donnie threw would miss by inches. Unless it was something that couldn't permanently damage you, then Don would hit you with it."

"Do I do that?"

"You miss by a bit more, but like him, you don't get angry very often."

"I don't?" Lately, Donnie had felt like he was angry all the time.

"You're fifteen." Leo told his son. "Being a teenager isn't easy for anyone, and I'd say that you have more than the normal kid's share of things to deal with, and you're doing an admirable job."

Donnie smiled up at his father and accepted the little hug Leo gave him. After a moment his expression turned serious again.

"Dad?" Only when the young turtle was completely sure that he had his father's undivided attention did he try to speak again. He tried to wet his throat before saying what he was about to say. "I- I don't want you to go," Donnie admitted quietly.

Leonardo sighed, realizing what his son was talking about. He was just about to nod acknowledgment when Donnie continued.

"But I understand that you need to, and I think you should." The young turtle concluded, sadly dropping his eyes to the floor.

"Thank you, My son." Leo replied a he wrapped his strong arms around the smaller turtle next to him. "I am glad you understand." He noticed tears that Donnie was trying to hide. "Oh, Donnie, don't cry. I won't be gone forever, and I promise to write whenever I can."

"I know, but I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, baby, I'm going to miss you too." Leo hugged his son and they just sat there together for a long while.

* * *

"I want you to take care of yourself." Leo insisted, holding onto Donnie's shoulders. "It's still cold." 

"I know, Dad."

"And we'll make sure he eats!" Mikey piped up, earning a laugh from his brothers and an objection from Donnie.

"Hey! I eat!"

"Not enough, Squirt." Raph commented, ruffling Donnie's headband and forcing the young turtle to fix it so he could see again. More laughter ensued when the young turtle glared up at his uncles.

Leonardo hugged his brothers and told them to take care before sending them off a short distance and turning his attention to Donatello.

"Make sure they don't destroy too much while I'm gone, okay?"

Donnie glanced back at his uncles and laughed a little, but his face quickly saddened. "I'm going to miss you, Dad."

Leo wrapped his arms around Donnie's small frame and forced back tears. "I'm going to miss you too, Donnie. I am going to miss you so much." He felt Donnie's arms reach around him and he just held his son for a long moment.

"Dad?" Donnie asked, causing Leo to back up a bit so he could see the younger turtle's face. "I made this for you. I don't know how long the battery will last, but it should be quite a while."

Leo was confused by the item that was mounted on a watchband, but obviously could not tell time. It was also slightly thicker than your standard watch. Donnie then pulled a set of headphones from his pocket, extremely compact ones that he had designed to fit their ears. He connected the earphones and tucked them around the 'watch' then pulled a Velcro flap over the whole thing.

"It should all be waterproof and weatherproof and all that." Donnie explained.

The use of the device was pretty clear, even to Leo. All it had on it was a play button, and he was about to press it when Donnie stopped him.

"Don't listen to it now." He said shaking his head.

Leo nodded put the watchband on his wrist and tucked it under his wrist guard. "Thank you, Donnie." He said as he pulled his son close one more time. The foghorn blared signaling that Leo had to leave. "I love you, baby." And with that, Leonardo was gone. The last thing he heard from his family as he made his way to the boat was Donnie's voice calling quietly after him.

"I love you too... Daddy."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** Wow, it's been a while since my last update. This story seems to be drawing to a close and it's time for me to switch gears and get Amiah up and running again. This story will weigh in at 40 chapters. So we're in the home stretch.**  
**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Ninja Turtles, the Foot or any other associated persons or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 37**

Leonardo had been gone for several days when Mikey realized that Donnie was not taking his dad's absence as well as he pretended to be. A rather dejected looking Donatello sat on the couch with a small device that Mikey did not recognize.

"Hey, Little Dude, whatcha got there?" Mikey asked brightly as he approached the couch.

"It's a music player. Pretty much an MP3 player, except it doesn't use MP3s."

"Sorry, you lost me." Mikey informed his nephew as he took a seat next to Donatello.

"MP3 is a common type of music file. When you save a song on a computer, you often condense it to an MP3 format. The sound quality isn't quite as good as the WAV formats used for CDs, but for most things it's good enough. This just uses a different format."

"Kinda small, isn't it?" Mikey asked after he listened to the explanation. While he didn't quite understand the whole thing, he got the gist of it.

"Well, you can only get a couple of tracks on it, and I used some weird tech I found in the storage closet." The teen gestured vaguely toward one of the many storage spaces in the lair.

"Ah, you found the stuff we salvaged from the utroms and triceratons." Mikey replied when he spotted the closet Donnie was referring to. "I wondered when you'd discover that stuff."

Donnie shrugged. He'd heard a few stories about the various alien species that his family had come across. Over the years he had even met a couple representatives of a few of those species.

Mikey just sat next to the teen who obviously needed to talk to someone. That much was clear from the look on Donnie's face.

"This one's the prototype, it doesn't work very well. I gave Dad the good one."

"Was that the watch thing you picked up just before we left the lair?"

Donatello nodded silently, put the prototype music player next to him and pulled his knees to his chest. As he did so, Mikey watched his nephew carefully and stifled a sigh. The lost look on Donnie's face tore at his heart, and he wrapped his arms around the smaller turtle.

"I miss him, Uncle Mikey." Donnie admitted quietly into his uncle's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know you do, Little Dude. I do too. It's going to be an interesting few months until he gets back, but we'll make the best of it, ok?" Mikey could feel his nephew nodding.

"Just out of curiosity," Mikey asked after a moment. "What were the tracks you put on the thing you gave Leo?" He had a feeling he knew what some of it was.

* * *

Leonardo was feeling more than a little homesick. In his thirty years of life he had never been away from his family for this long, and he was just starting his journey. He had no idea whether this feeling was one he could get used to or not. For now, he hated it. If he had had the option, he would have turned back. He leaned his head back against the crate behind him and brought his hand to his face in an attempt to use pressure points to disperse the headache that was beginning to develop behind his eyes. As he did so, he hit something with his wrist, and his attention was drawn back to the thing that Donatello had given him. For the first time, he put the earphones on and hit the play button.

"Hey Dad!" Suddenly, Leo had a feeling he knew why Donnie had told him not to listen to this before he left. "I hope your journey is going well. I guess it isn't so much a journey as a pilgrimage." The teen paused there as he considered what he'd just said before continuing. "Well, whatever you call it, I hope you find what you're looking for. I don't really know what else to say for this thing, other than I miss you, and I love you. And I hope you find whatever it is you need really soon so you can come home, but I guess that's just me being selfish." At this point, Leo heard Donnie's previously bright voice falter a little. There was another pause, and if he listened carefully he could hear himself arguing with Raphael in the background. Mikey threw in a comment, but the argument continued over it. "Well, I should probably give Uncle Mikey and Uncle Raph a chance on here too, huh? I love you, Dad." Donnie finished.

"Hey bro!" Mikey greeted. "Um, I have no idea what Donnie has planned for this, but it seems pretty important to him. He promised that he won't listen to it so I guess that means I'm free to pretty much tell you what I want." Mikey's voice hardened for his next statements. "He's a horrid, little monster and now that Raph and I have finally gotten our hands on him, we're really going to teach him a lesson!" After a moment Mikey laughed. "Nah, I'm just messin' with ya, bro. He's a great kid, and we'll take good care of him until you get back. Actually, to tell you the truth, he's probably better able to take care of himself than we give him credit for. He'll be taking care of us by the time you get home." Mikey laughed again. "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for, Leo. As much fun as I'm sure we'll have while you're away, we're gonna miss you. Stay safe, bro."

"Hi Dad, me again." Donnie's voice interrupted after Mikey's segment. "I just wanted you to know that this next one took the longest to get, but then you probably already knew that."

"Hey, Leo. Your kid's got somethin' up his sleeve for this, I just know it, but he's been beggin' me for days. So here I am. I just want you to know that we can manage here without you just fine. You don't need to worry 'bout that. But if I know you, you will anyway. All the same, I'm gonna tell you not to, not that you ever listen to me, but still." Raphael paused for a moment. "In all seriousness, Leo, we can get on without you, but I don't think any of us really want to. I hope you find what you're looking for. I know you've been searching for a long time. Good Luck, Leo."

"Hey, Leo." This time April's voice issued from the speaker without an interruption from Donnie. "We just wanted to wish you well on your journey."

"Yeah, Uncle, Leo." Anna's voice added. "We hope you find what you're looking for!"

"Yeah, and uh, have fun, Leo." When Casey added that last line, Leo could hear someone smack him in the arm and ask what kind of comment that was. He couldn't quite tell if the quiet voice was Anna or April, but it didn't matter. Casey had just been the same old Casey he had always been, and Leo found it good for a small laugh. April came back on next.

"Take care of yourself, Leo, and hurry home."

"I bet you thought that was everybody, but I've got another thing that I found." Donnie said when he came back on the recording. "I was going through one of the old storage closets a few weeks ago when I found this. Um... I don't know if you'll like it or not, but I really hope you do."

There was a long pause next, and Leo wondered if his son had run out of space on the recorder before the next thing could start. It would have been rare for Donnie to overlook something like that, but stranger things had happened. Just as he finished his thought, he heard a click and a soft hissing noise like the sound of an old tape player being turned on.

"My sons," Leo was floored. It was a voice that he had not heard in ever a decade.

"Oh, Donnie, where did you find this?" Leo asked quietly.

"Your path in life will not be an easy one." Master Splinter's voice continued. "You four are so different from those who dwell in the world above. You cannot be a part of that world. All of you have grown strong, and I am proud of you. Together you can accomplish so much as you have proven again and again. Each of you has something to offer. Leonardo, your leadership skills have blossomed and your dedication to your art is admirable, but be sure that you do not take it too far, my son. While I understand as well as any that it is a way of life, always make time for other interests." The lecture was so familiar and yet some part of Leo felt like he was hearing it for the first time.

"Raphael, your strength is a valuable asset, and your emotions give you power, but that too, is a double edged blade. Do not let your anger consume you, my son. You must learn and exercise control." Leo had to smile at that. Of all of them, Raph had probably been the one who had come the farthest. He could still lose his head at times, but the occurrences were fewer and farther between.

"Donatello, your technological skills have been invaluable over the years, and your ability to think with your head as well as our heart is truly amazing to me, but exercise caution in deciding which you will follow. I am glad you have returned to us, but you must find your own place no matter how difficult the search." Leo had to smile at that too. It really dated this recording for him. The blue-masked turtle couldn't help but wonder how it had survived all these years.

"Michelangelo, your personality has brought joy and laughter into many an otherwise dismal situation. Do not lose that sparkle, my son, but you must also be sure to use caution in your timing. There are times to be serious, and times when a joke is appropriate or even necessary. I believe that you, Michelangelo, have the wisdom to tell the difference, if only you search within yourself." And that is where the tape ended. Leonardo could not remember that particular conversation, though he had heard the gist of it many times in his youth. After a brief moment there was a sharp click and Donnie's voice came back on the recording.

"Maybe this isn't the place to say this, but..." Donnie trailed off for a moment. "I know that he has to be talking to your brother when he talks to Donatello, but I feel kind of like he's talking to me at the same time. I can't really explain it, but there it is. Did you notice that he called you and Uncle Mikey and Uncle Raph 'my son' at some point, but never used it for Donatello? Is that because he was a spirit rather than alive or just because he didn't happen to say it?"

Leo froze when Donnie pointed that out. It was probably just a coincidence because Leo knew that Master Splinter had applied the term 'my son' to the Donatello's spirit as often as he had to the flesh and blood turtles, but the fact that the tape Donnie had come across lacked that particular reference was almost spooky. Still caught up on the lacking term of endearment that had just been pointed out, Leonardo missed some of what Donnie said next.

"-time left on here, and I don't know how else to fill it up, Dad. So I guess I'll just- heh... I should tell you how this works, shouldn't I? The play button also acts as a stop button. Double click to reset to the beginning, and if you hold it down, that's fast forward. Just in case you want to listen to anything specific without listening to the whole message." Leo chuckled to himself. Just like Donnie to almost forget to tell people how something worked. It all came so naturally to the kid that he often forgot there were people out there who couldn't look at something and know just how to use it.

"Well, Dad. I do want you to come home, but not until you find whatever it is you're looking for. I'm almost out of space here, so I suppose I should wrap this up. Bye Dad. I love you." Leo heard Donnie's voice falter again before the bright tone returned. "Have a safe journey. I miss you." If the rest of the recording had been insufficient to elicit an emotional response from Leonardo, that last little hiccup in his son's voice would have been. Donnie had made the recording, and obviously put a lot of time and effort into it, but Leo could tell that the bright tone he had used every time he spoke was masking a broken heart.

For a moment, Leo just looked at the item on his wrist. It took him longer than usual to realize that it too was a Donatello original. Donnie's style was very similar to Don's and Leo had been around enough of each of their work to be able to tell the difference between an original design and something that had been fixed. This bore several of the indicators that it was original, but there was also something different about the styling, like it had been borrowed from somewhere. Leo wondered where it had come from, and would have to ask about it in the first letter he sent. He knew that a reply would be a long time coming, but he would have to ask anyway.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

* * *

**Chapter 38**

Donatello pushed away the ill feeling for now as he had been trained to do for years. The feeling always struck him after this sort of thing and he knew what he had to do to make it go away, but that simply was not an option right now. It was easier to push the feeling aside during a fight. The tough part was getting home and cleaned up. He swallowed hard as he moved through the sewers. Taking care of the feeling now would do no good as he still had not completely rid himself of the problem.

It was late, very late. His uncles probably did not yet know that he had even gone out. It had actually become something of a habit, at least on the nights that Uncle Raph stayed in. Going out when one of his uncles was also prowling the city was just inviting trouble. He had learned that long ago.

The metallic smell bit at his nose and Donnie swallowed once again, controlling his body for the time being. He was almost home, his punishment nearly over. Quickly punching the security code into the panel at the door to their home, Donnie silently re-entered the lair with the stealth borne of the ninja training he had received since his return to this world. Quiet by nature, he had always been pretty good at slipping by his uncles. He had yet to slip by his dad's radar, but since Leo wasn't home he believed he had little to worry about.

Donnie carefully and silently made his way to the bathroom on the lower level where his sleeping uncles were less likely to hear his movements. Safely locked in the room, Donnie removed the bloodied kama from his belt and forced down another wave of nausea. Next he removed the naginata from his back. Its blade was bloodied just like the kama. Bile rose in his throat and he nearly lost the battle to keep it in check.

* * *

What Donatello didn't know was that he was not as alone in being awake in the lair as he thought. Michelangelo watched unnoticed from the second floor as his nephew slipped in. From his vantage point, it was easy to see the blood coating the teen. Mike had hoped that as the weeks passed, whatever had caused this change in Donnie's behavior would sort itself out. His attempts to find out what was upsetting the young turtle had been met with flat out denial of a problem. The change in weapons and the late night excursions were powerful testament to the contrary. 

Not only was it unlike Donnie to go out in the middle of the night like this, it was even more unlike him to come home covered in blood. At least it had been up until a few weeks ago. The young turtle had learned to deal with his nausea, but the sight of blood still made him ill. The fact that Donnie almost ran for the bathroom upon arriving home was a sure sign that had not changed.

Mike shook his head as he moved back into his room. Donnie was home safe, and that was what Mikey had been waiting up to be sure of. Confronting his nephew now would not help the situation. He couldn't shake the feeling that Donnie was punishing himself for something. The question was... What?

* * *

The young purple-masked turtle picked up a single kama and started to clean it as he had been taught to treat blades. Normally, he might do this in the dojo, but that was more open to the rest of the lair and the chances that his uncles would hear him moving around in there was greater. Donatello was thorough in his work despite the slight, occasional shiver that wracked his frame and the continued fight to keep his body's reaction to the vile, red liquid he was removing from his weapons in check. One kama cleansed, he moved onto the second. About half way through he had to pause and take a moment to breathe. He hated being covered in blood and he hated cleaning it off his weapons, but this was a punishment he had earned some time ago now. Once both kama had been cleansed, Donatello set them aside and turned his attention to the the naginata. After another moment spent breathing so he could get through the task before succumbing to his body's continued desire to purge itself of the contents of his stomach, Donnie began to cleanse that weapon as well. 

When all three weapons had been cleaned, Donnie carted them up to his room and put them in their proper places. As he laid the naginata down on it's long rack, he glanced at the bo staff one space up on the wall. Today, for some reason, it caught his attention and he looked at it for a moment longer before the metallic sting of the blood that still clung to his skin reminded him that he had to finish cleaning up quickly.

The young turtle hurried back down to the bathroom where he took a hot shower and rid himself of the blood that coated his person. Some of it was his, most of it was not. A large bruise and gash on his thigh that had obviously been made by a chain would have to be hidden from his uncles for a couple of days, but that was no problem. It was still cold out and he often wore sweats around the lair. He was barely out of the shower and hadn't even wrapped a towel around himself when he threw up, finally giving in to his body's insistent cries now that it was safe to do so without the threat of cleaning up something else that would just bring the urge back.

Donnie pulled a towel around himself as he knelt on the floor in front of the toilet. He was shaking like a leaf, and not solely because he was cold. The shivering continued for a long time as the teen tried to calm his body again. Donnie tried to recall the last time he had eaten a full meal for dinner and managed to keep it down for the whole night without throwing it back up after an evening like this one. Uncle Raph had stayed in the lair lately and Donnie almost never gave up a chance to sneak out anymore. As the shaking slowed and came to a stop the teen realized that he still felt sick, but it was not the same as before. He was quick to stifle the coughing that wracked his body a moment later.

"Yeah, great. That's just great." Donnie muttered to himself as he pulled it together enough to stand up and head back up to his room. Sometimes he took the time after coming in to sharpen his blades, but this time that would have to wait until morning. He'd taken care of the blood problems, the remaining illness was something else. The teen growled to himself in frustration then silently slipped out of the bathroom and returned to his room for the night.

* * *

The next morning Donatello was in a poor mood. The fact that he could not stop coughing and shaking was not helping matters. Raphael had also sent him out of the dojo before training would normally end when he realized that Donnie's shaking was not from cold, but from illness and exhaustion. Though the teen had objected, Raphael had remained firm. A glaring match between the two resulted in Raph as the victor and Donnie storming out of the dojo to return to his room and his nice, warm bed. Which, though Raph had not stated it, was exactly where he wanted him. 

"That kid is getting harder and harder to handle." Raph grouched once Donnie was gone.

"Yeah," Mikey agreed, "and he's been sneaking out at night."

Raph nodded in agreement. "He's started wearing more clothes and when he actually has them off there are too many bruises to be explained by sparring."

Mikey nodded in agreement.

"And as much as I like the kama..."

"Yeah, not really what I ever imagined him using either." Mikey concurred. "I hope Leo gets home soon. Maybe that will snap him out of it."

"We can hope, but I don't know if even Leo can fix this one."

Mikey sighed and looked toward Donnie's room before starting another sparring session with Raph.

* * *

Donnie hated this. He hated being sick, he hated that his uncles were upset and worried about him. He was fine. There was nothing wrong with him. So far, he had been unable to find a way to convey this to his uncles in a way that they understood. Or, maybe they just did not believe him. The second option did not seem that much better than the first in Donnie's mind. Either way, his uncles were worried about things they shouldn't be bothering with. 

Now that he was lying down and resting, Donnie felt the shakes he had been experiencing slow and go away. Which was a great relief to him as the shaking was incredibly annoying. He picked up a book from the nightstand and looked at it for a moment. It was one that his father had given him for Christmas, just before leaving.

Donnie knew that he had told his father to go. He knew that this trip had been postponed year after year. While it was something that Leo had tried to hide from his son, when Donnie thought back on it, he realized that there had been signs of his dad wanting or needing this trip for years. Still, Donnie could not help but feel that he had been abandoned. It was unreasonable, he knew it, but that did not help him push the feeling aside.

With a frustrated growl, Donnie pulled a shuriken from his belt and threw it at the map on the opposite wall. The weapon embedded itself firmly in Japan.

"I hate that stupid country." Donnie muttered to himself. Though he knew his anger was displaced, that didn't seem to lessen it at all. Realizing that if he fell asleep he probably would not want his belt on, especially as there were six more shuriken where the one currently in Japan had come from, Donnie removed it and tossed it to the floor. Looking back at the map for a moment he shook his head. He just felt angry all the time now.

Donnie could easily remember when he wasn't angry. It was before his father had ditched him here while he went off gallivanting around the world. Anna never came around anymore either. Usually because she was always busy at school.

"Or so she says." Donnie grumped as he dug a little deeper and firmly entrenched himself in a nice little pity party from which he had no intention of removing himself anytime soon. Uncle Mikey would probably come in shortly and try to make him eat something, but Donnie did not feel like eating. Not that the desire not to do so had ever stopped anyone from forcing food on him.

"Stupid Don." Donnie muttered about his past life that he couldn't remember. "Why couldn't you just stay dead and in the spirit realm or whatever like a normal person? Why'd you have to keep coming back until they made you into a messed up thing like me?"

* * *

"Leonardo, My son..." 

Deep in meditation, Leo easily recognized the contact for what it was.

"Master Splinter?" The blue-masked turtle was shocked. In all these years, Master Splinter had never once directly contacted him. Somehow, he suspected that whatever had brought his father here could not possibly be good.

"Yes, My Son," Splinter nodded, "I am here. I am proud of you, Leonardo. You have done well in your life so far. And you have found a good balance between your dedication to your art and your dedication to your family. I am also pleased to see you training under The Ancient One."

"Thank you, Master Splinter." Leo responded when Splinter paused. Even as he did so, he was waiting for the other shoe to fall. There was just something in Master Splinter's tone that tickled Leo's mind with a knowledge that something was wrong.

"You have learned much in your time here in Japan, My Son, but it is time for you to go."

"Master Splinter? What?"

"Your son needs you. Go, Leonardo. It is time for you to return to New York."

Leo nodded and bowed in his vision and when he glanced up from the bow, Splinter rose from his own and gave the blue-masked turtle that small assuring smile that said he was very pleased indeed. A smile that Leo had sorely missed over the years and was ecstatic to see once again despite the circumstances.

Surfacing from his meditative state, Leo rose from his tatami mat and stood. He glanced around one last time before heading out to find The Ancient One. It was time to excuse himself from his sensei's tutelage and move on.


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

**A/N: **And after an inordinately long hiatus, Spirit Returns! Only one more chapter after this. The finish line is in sight.

* * *

**Chapter 39**

Michelangelo had been worried for a long time now. The last letter from Leonardo had raised his spirits considerably, but he could only hope that his brother's return was in time. Leo had always had a way of doing what Mikey and Raph could not, especially in the area that most concerned him at the moment. Pulling the letter out of a pocket on his belt, Mikey rechecked the information Leo had given them about the ship he'd be on. This was the one. He ducked into the darkest shadows he could find and spotted Raph nearby. Leo would have to wait for an opportunity to get off the ship then they could get home.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Leo greeted as he came up to Raph and Mikey's hiding place. "Miss me?"

"Like you wouldn't believe, bro!" Mikey returned enthusiastically as he rushed to embrace his brother.

"Glad you're back." Raph smiled.

"Hey," Leo noticed that someone was missing from the greeting. "Where's Donnie?"

"Yeah, about that..." Mikey scratched his head, which only managed to terrify Leo.

"Whoa, physically, he's fine." Raph assured his brother as he gave Leo a little push toward home. "Just... something happened while you were gone."

"What?"

"We wish we knew." Mikey put in. "It was just overnight. One day he was fine, the next bang, he wasn't."

Leonardo sighed and looked down. "How long?"

"Couple of months now." Raph answered sadly. "Remember the 'tude I had as a teen? He puts me to shame."

Leo cringed at the description though he figured it to be something of an exaggeration, and thinking about what had probably occurred to cause Donnie to change that drastically broke his heart. The thing that worried him the most was that Raph and Mikey sounded completely serious. From what they told him, Leo was beginning to piece together a hunch as to what had occurred. When it had happened to him, Master Splinter had noticed immediately. Leonardo recalled being pulled aside the next day. He could barely imagine going for two months without the conversation he had had with Splinter that day.

* * *

"Hey Donnie," Leo greeted as he decided to make his presence known. He stepped up onto a chair to reach the loft Donnie slept on. The young turtle made no response other than an obvious cringe at hearing his father's voice. Leo rubbed a couple of gentle circles on Donnie's shell before a quick jerk informed him that the touch was not welcome.

"Donnie, please look at me." Leonardo said, giving the request enough force for it to be an order. In response, Donatello looked up at him apathetically. If Leo had had his hunches earlier, that look all but confirmed them. Glancing at the wall, Leo spotted something that disturbed him more than the stories Raph and Mikey had told of the past two months. Lying on the table next to a naginata that Donnie had apparently switched to were a pair of kama.

"What? Don't have a hug for your dad?" Leo asked lightly. He was disappointed if not surprised when Donnie sighed and looked away from him but said nothing.

"Oh, baby, come on, ta-"

"I'm not a baby, not anymore." Donnie growled, interrupting his father.

"Something happened to you while I was away." It was not a question, it was a statement. "And I think I have a pretty good idea of what it was."

"Yeah right." Donnie muttered as he flipped over on the bed, turning away from Leo.

"I felt the same way the first time." Leo saw his son flinch at the words. "It's not something you ever get used to either." Donnie's small form tensed on the bed, and Leo knew that he'd been right. He just wasn't sure who had done the deed that had the young turtle so upset.

"Come on," Leonardo suggested. "I have something I want to show you." He watched as his son obediently, if unwillingly, crawled out of bed. Leo led Donnie to Master Splinter's old room. They had kept it as it had been all these years, every so often they went in and dusted the room to keep it clean, and it was often used for meditation. Leo had gotten the most out of the room over the years, but he had been pleased to note that Raph and Mikey had kept the room up during his absence. He began to light candles and incense. He never felt the same in this room as he had while Master Splinter had been alive, but the candles and incense always calmed him, and he knew that they had always done the same for his son. He just hoped that had not changed with Donnie's attitude.

"Dad," Donnie complained. "Uncle Raph and Uncle Mikey make me come in here all the time."

"Do they?" Leo asked. He knew that Raph and Mikey had often suggested meditation in an attempt to get Donnie to act like himself again, but they had been treating the symptoms, not the cause of the disease. "Well, we're not going to meditate right now, we're going to talk. Then, perhaps, we will meditate together." He heard an exasperated sigh escape the other turtle and chose to speak again. He turned to Donatello and lifted his son's chin, forcing eye contact. "Please, Donnie, give me a chance. Let me help you."

"You can't." Donnie said, pulling his chin from his father's hand. "I'm beyond help."

"Let me try." Leo almost begged. He got a skeptical look from his son, but eventually Donnie nodded. Leo put a hand on the smaller turtle's shoulder. "I hate to see you hurting like this, Donnie. Talk to me, about anything. Tell me what's bothering you." The elder turtle barely managed to stifle a sigh of relief when he saw his son's resolve break.

"I... I missed you, Dad." Donnie finally admitted. "I really needed you, and you weren't here."

Leo moved and wrapped an arm around Donnie's shoulders. He half expected his son to shake it off, but Donnie didn't; he allowed the touch. Silence filled the room for a long moment, and Leo gave Donnie's shoulder a slight squeeze, urging the turtle to continue.

"Just under eight weeks ago," Donnie started speaking again, "They let me go up to the junk yard by myself. They thought I could handle it. It was supposed to just be up and back, normal trip just like all the other times I've been there with them."

"I take it it didn't turn out that way." Leo inserted, and Donnie shook his head as he stared off into space.

"There were... two men in an alley."

Leo had a feeling that he knew where this one was going.

"They were terrorizing her." Donnie continued a little vaguely. "They said that they were going to..." He trailed off, unable to continue.

Leo got the distinct impression that he was the first one to hear this particular little story. "Go on, baby." He urged.

"I'm not a baby, Dad!" The younger turtle insisted again.

"Donnie, you could be five hundred years old and the most hardened ninja in the multiverse, and you would still be my baby." Leo pointed out with just enough edge to his voice to make his point clear.. "What happened in the alley?"

Donatello made a slightly exasperated sound then closed his eyes and tried to block out the memory of that night, tried to forget what he had seen, what he had done. He felt strong arms wrap around him and almost shrugged them off, but the part of him that had needed this for so long won out over the part that did not want it. "I-" Donnie cut himself off and changed his mind about how to tell the story. "The smaller guy took her purse. Uncle Mikey told me not to interfere with anything while I was up there, that I was only supposed to fight if they were there with me, and they weren't... so I didn't do anything. I started to leave, but..."

Leo hugged his son a little tighter. It was no wonder that Mikey and Raph had failed to figure out what was bothering Donnie, they probably had no reason to suspect that he had been in a battle. All it would have taken for the young turtle to hide the fact that he had been in a fight would be to put on some clothes. It was uncommon for Donatello to go around without a sweatshirt on in the winter, and him pulling on some pants in an attempt to keep warm was far from unheard of. Any other injuries could have been earned in a sparring match with Raph or Mikey. Leonardo silently urged his son to continue.

"She screamed..." Donnie said absently. "I- I've never heard anyone scream like that before..."

Leo looked down at his son, fairly certain he knew where this story was going.

"I couldn't just let it go... I went back... the bigger guy had- had ripped off her shirt, and was..." Again Donnie was forced to stop his story telling.

"I know it's hard, Donnie, but keep going. Tell me what happened. Let me help you."

After a long moment, the young turtle nodded and found the strength to continue the tale of the event that had haunted his nightmares for seven weeks now. "I couldn't let them do that. I couldn't. At first I stayed in the shadows. I hit the little one with a trashcan lid, but the other one saw where I had thrown from and found me. He- he had..." Donnie choked on his own words. After a moment he realized that his father was gently rocking him back and forth. He could not explain it, but he felt like he was encountering something nearly forgotten yet vitally important. For the first time in nearly two months, Donatello felt... safe. Words slowly found their way back to his mouth.

"He had a knife... I tried to stop him, but..." Donatello gulped and tried to force back his tears. "I took him out in the end. I meant to just... knock him down, I didn't mean..." The young turtle had to pause for another moment. "I called 911, but by the time the ambulance got there... it was too late... for both of them" And that was it, Donnie had reached the end of the story.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." Leo said as he held Donnie a little tighter and continuing to rock him back and forth.

"I tried, Dad. If I'd listened to Uncle Raph and Uncle Mikey-"

"She probably would have still been killed." Leo insisted forcefully. "I know you disobeyed your uncles, but you did what you felt you had to do, and nothing more. It didn't turn out as well as it could have, and I'm sorry that it turned out the way it did, but I want you to know that you did the right thing. I don't want you to question your actions that evening. You did the right thing, Donnie. Maybe you couldn't save her, but what about the woman who would have been his next victim? Or how about the woman after that, and the next one?" Between the choppy breathing Leo could feel from Donnie and the warm, wet drop that had hit his arm, Leo knew that his son was crying.

"Did you tell anyone about this before?" The elder turtle asked gently. When he felt Donnie shake his head, he sighed. "You should have. Mikey and Raph would have understood. They might have been upset that you disobeyed, but your reasons were good, and they could have helped you a long time ago." He felt a hiccup from the turtle wrapped securely in his arms.

"I- I'm sorry." Donatello replied in a small voice.

"It's ok. I'm just glad you told me now. You just could have saved yourself a lot of pain if you had said something earlier."

Donnie looked down. That first night was not the only time he had disobeyed Raphael and Michelangelo during his father's absence. "Dad?"

Leo looked down at his son.

"That wasn't the last time. After that night I..."

"When did you take up the kama?" Leo asked, interrupting his son.

"Seven weeks, two days and seventeen hours ago."

Had there been a clock in sight, Leo was sure that he would have had the time to the minute. "You've been out since, haven't you."

Donnie nodded.

"And you've fought since, despite your uncles' orders to the contrary."

Again, Donnie nodded.

Leonardo sighed. "I'm disappointed in you, Donnie," he felt his child look down, "but I can't say that I'm surprised. All the same-"

"You're going to punish me?"

Leo laughed slightly. "I think you've already punished yourself far more than anything I could ever do to you, but yes, I am going to punish you. You are not to go topside for the next two months. You are not to go to the junk yard or even April and Casey's place. If Anna comes home for the weekend, she can come to the lair, but you are not to go up there. Do you understand?" He waited for Donnie to nod. "At the end of two months, we will consider reinstating your topside privileges. If you go against these instructions there will be consequences. Do you understand the punishment and reasoning behind it?"

"I abused my topside privileges, and they are being suspended." Donnie responded slowly, trying to keep his words from breaking.

"Yes. Next time will you please come to me or one of your uncles immediately? I don't want you to hide this sort of thing."

Donnie nodded one more time and he felt his father kiss his head. "I missed you, Dad." He said quietly as he wrapped his arms around the turtle who had been absent from his life for so long.

"I missed you too, baby."


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the ninja turtles, I would not be here writing fan fiction. I do not own the turtles or any associated characters or places. They are the property of Mirage Studios. I make no money from this and I mean no harm. Please do not sue.

**A/N:** And after yet another inordinately long hiatus this story finally receives it's conclusion. You have Midnight Heir to thank for this coming out tonight. She made a pact with me that we'd have a story out in the near future. And this is my contribution at the moment. Thank you to everyone who has read through forty chapters of my (occasionally flighty) muses! Y'all are great. Now a one-shot and long overdue chapters of Amiah are in the works.

* * *

**Chapter 40**

Leonardo watched Donnie slide through his bo staff kata. The kama still came out on occasion, but it was becoming rarer with each passing day, and, for that, Leo was grateful. In addition, the naginata had returned to it's status as proficiency only. Those weapons did not suit the young man Leo knew his son to be. Donatello had been true to his punishment, remaining in the lair and nearby sewer tunnels for the past two months. He was getting a rather severe case of cabin fever, and that brought the kama back out once in a while as Donnie felt the occasional need to viciously attack something. Close range weapons made that more satisfying. The end of his punishment was quickly approaching and Leo could tell that he was quite eager to return to the surface after being cooped up for so long.

"Hold your staff higher, Donatello." Leo instructed from the door, and he smiled as the next block found the weapon at the correct height. A few more moments passed as he silently watched his son work.

"You are broadcasting your next move, hide your intent from you enemy, do not let them know what you plan to do."

Donatello's movements became sharper, cleaner and his weight distribution stopped giving away the next movement. Leonardo watched as Donatello came to the conclusion of the kata and finished formally with a sharp bow.

Leonardo smiled and gave his son a nod, releasing him from the bow. "Now you just need to get the whole thing the way you finished without needing the reminders from me."

Donnie sighed and tried to choke back a small cough.

"But that can wait."

"I am ok, Sensei." Donatello objected.

"Yes, and I wish you to stay that way, My Son." Leo said calmly. "Take a hot shower then get a sweatshirt on."

"Yes, Sensei." Donatello said before bowing again and leaving the dojo to do as ordered.

"He's getting pretty good with that stick of his." Raphael grinned as soon as Donnie was gone.

"Yeah, he is. I'm glad he's gone back to it." Leo responded with a small smile.

"He really needed ya, Leo." Raphael agreed quietly. "I can't believe that we missed-"

"It's ok, Raph. He doesn't blame you, and neither do I. It happened, and now it's over so stop worrying about it, ok?"

"heh, I still feel bad about it, Leo. I had no idea he'd been sneakin' out or that he'd seen that."

"You had no reason to." Leo looked Raph right in the eyes and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's over. Let it be."

Raph nodded and left the room. Donnie came back down a few moments later in a light grey sweatshirt.

* * *

Leonardo did not have to look at the clock to know that time for the brothers' evening patrol/training run was fast approaching. He also knew that Donnie had been cooped up down here long enough. The blue-masked turtle glanced up to the second level before heading up to his son's room. When he got there, Donnie was working on something that Leo did not recognize. Donnie looked up, noticing his father's near silent entrance. Leonardo smiled, pleased with his student. He then crossed the room and crouched next to his son.

"I believe that it has been two months." Leo said quietly, causing Donnie to put down the soldering iron he'd been holding and look up at his father in surprise. Quietly laughing to himself, Leo continued speaking.

"Your uncles and I were just about to go up for our run and patrol. I would like for you to join us if you feel up to it."

Donnie looked down for a moment before quickly shaking his head. "Um... no, that's ok."

The response surprised Leo as Donatello had been itching to get out of the lair for weeks now. "No?"

"I- I just don't..."

Leo sighed, recognizing the look in Donnie's eyes. Getting out of the lair was one thing, practicing ninjitsu in the safety of their home was one thing, returning to the streets for a training run would have been a possibility, but Leo had used another word. That was the one that was upsetting the young turtle... patrol.

"You won't be alone this time, Donnie."

"Dad, I-" The teen hesitated.

"I promise to keep Raph on a short leash if it looks like it might be too risky for you." Leo added with a small grin.

"D- do I have to?"

"You have to some day. That day need not be today, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be."

Donatello looked at the object on the bench in front of him before slowly nodding and looking up at his father. "Ok," he agreed.

Leo put a hand on Donnie's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It will be just fine, you'll see."

Donatello nodded and slid his bo staff into the holster on his back, after a moment of debate, the kama were also slipped into his belt. A silent, unnoticed sigh escaped his father.

* * *

Leonardo had lied. Well, not necessarily lied, but things were not alright. Donatello forced his bo staff a little higher in the next block then dropped low, kicking out and pulling the Foot ninja's feet out from under him. Whipping his weapon around, the ninja was knocked unconscious. Donnie looked up when he heard a familiar grunt, the scene that greeted him required quick action, and the teen acted without thought.

"Uncle Mikey!" The young turtle shouted at the older turtle's back as he whipped a kama from his belt and threw it. Michelangelo heard the shout and jumped clear, but the ninja that had been sneaking up on the turtle had remained in the path. By the time Donnie's brain got around to processing what he had just done it was too late. He screamed and stumbled backward, barely blocking the first ninja who rushed at him in his daze.

"Donatello, Focus!" Leonardo ordered sharply. He was too far away from his son to be of any great help beyond that. The call was just in time and Donnie snapped back to himself and where he was.

The young turtle turned on the Foot around him and battled them off avoiding use of his second kama.

"Thanks, Donnie." Michelangelo said as he approached his nephew as soon as the last Foot ninja fell. He smiled and ruffled the purple bandanna. "You did good."

"I... I killed that guy."

"Yeah, you did." Mikey told the young turtle, making the incident sound like less of a big deal than it really was. "I'm actually rather glad you did."

"I threw a kama at his back. At his BACK!"

Leo looked up. He considered stepping in, but it seemed that Mikey had everything under control for now. Instead he turned back to the downed Foot ninja.

"Guys, we have to move." Leo ordered.

Though the family followed the order quickly Mikey and Donnie continued their quiet conversation as though it had never been interrupted.

"In a fight, things happen quickly. Sometimes you just have to act without thought. That is what you did. You are a great ninja, Donnie. We don't go out at night seeking to kill our opponents, and we avoid it when at all possible, but sometimes we are left with no choice. I am sorry to have put you in this situation, but it would have happened eventually." Michelangelo watched his nephew look sadly down at the rooftop they now stood on. There was a troubled expression on the teen's face and Mikey could tell that Donnie was having trouble justifying this to himself.

Yes, his actions had been meant to save his uncle and they had worked effectively, but someone was dead at Donnie's hand. In all the nights he had gone out since witnessing the death of the woman in the alley Donnie had never killed anyone. He had beaten people up a bit, giving them cuts and bruises they would not soon forget, but he had never killed them.

"Donnie, listen to me. The fact that you are beating yourself up now speaks volumes about your character," Michelangelo insisted, breaking into Donnie's thoughts. 'And as much as it hurts right now, I'm glad it does, and I hope that this sort of situation is never easy for you."

The younger turtle looked up at his uncle in confusion.

"You'll make it, Donnie. You'll get through this. I have no doubt of that. In fact, I'd be more concerned about you if you weren't taking this hard."

That statement did little to alleviate Donatello's fears, concerns or confusion.

"Because if it weren't, you would be hardened far beyond your years, hardened far beyond where anyone should ever be. I wouldn't want that for you, and I hope you never reach that point." Mikey squeezed Donnie's shoulder. He was almost finished channeling his father and sensei, or perhaps Leo, but there was still a little bit to be said on this subject.

"You may not be able to see it right now, but you still have a lot of innocence to you. It won't always be easy, but hold on to that innocence with everything you have." Mikey almost begged. "You lose that and you lose yourself. And you losing you would just be confusing for you in general and more confusing for us to explain."

Donatello almost smiled at his uncle. It never made sense to him, but Uncle Mikey had an almost uncanny ability to bring a smile to his face. Donnie took a moment to correct himself. It wasn't just his face that Mikey could bring a smile to. Michelangelo could brighten a room with a grin, joke or a few well-chosen words in a way that no one Donnie had ever met could.

"So, think you can handle this, Mini-ninja?"

Donnie chuckled as his mask was ruffled up once again.

Leo watched Mikey and Donnie silently. He felt Raph step up next to him, also watching the conversation.

After the chuckle at the name, Donnie really considered the question he had been asked. He frowned at the ground for a moment before looking up at his uncle again. The look on his face was enough of an answer for his father and uncles. A confident sparkle tempered by past mistakes filled the teen's eyes.

That look made Leo feel old. His 'job' with Donnie was far from over, but, in that moment, Leo was sure that both of them had done well up to this point. It was a turning point in both of their lives. For the past twelve years, Leo had hoped that his efforts to train and raise his son would give Donnie everything he needed to survive and even thrive in the world they had been given, but up until now it was never more than a fervent hope. April had been right, in no more than the time it takes to blink, his baby had become a man; Leo was ever so grateful that he had managed to not blink. For the first time since that deathly ill three year old appeared at the farmhouse door, Leo _knew _that Donnie, that his son, was going to be just fine.

_**The End**_


End file.
